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RE: Jumping Jiminee, it's June already! - 6/7/2008 1:22:02 PM
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garsyt
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AND with alot of the kitchenaid pink stuff a portion of each sale goes back to fund research for breast cancer! I have a pink handled can opener! But that's it. Pink just doesn't cut it in my green/apple-y kitchen.
Only two more soccer games left! One on Thursday and one on Saturday. Today at Ethan's game it was actually a tad bit chilly!
My eldest two children are blogging now. Both of their blogs however, are "by invitation only." That basically means only those that are invited specifically by my children can participate, AND hubby or I have to okay it as well. It's a way to keep them writing over the summer and for them to keep in touch with their cousins. Aryn is REALLY into it! She's already invited her 4th grade teacher, her cousins, and a few friends to participate.
Gotta run. The dryer just buzzed. I'm drowning in a mountain of laundry!
Blessings,
Garsy
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My Blog: www.moredayslikethisplease.wordpress.com
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RE: Jumping Jiminee, it's June already! - 6/7/2008 5:39:18 PM
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PrincessDonna
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Well, Nick is going to summer school. Apparently even though we have joint custody AND two teachers agreed with us that it would be better to hold him back...it's all up to "her". I admit I have mumbled some not nice words about her today. This will not help him. He's going to end up behind again all next year. The workload increases quite a bit from 1st to 2nd grade and he was already behind all this year.
No idea what this is going to do to our summer. Either it'll totally screw up our summer visitation schedule (every other week) or I'll have to drive him to summer school whenever he's with us. His school is 15 minutes away, so I can't afford to drive there, drop him off, drive home, then go back to pick him up...so we'll all have to find something to do in that stupid town that has nothing to do. Yay.
I have a really bad attitude today. The heat is not helping.
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<<-----------Brian + vacuum= sexy man!! 
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RE: Jumping Jiminee, it's June already! - 6/7/2008 6:31:04 PM
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JuliaHop
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Donna-Sorry you didn't get the news that you wanted about Nick's schooling. Is summer school only l/2 day and l/2 the summer? Perhaps you can have picnic days on the days that you need to drive him to school.
How warm is it there? It is 97 here.
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For God so loved the World, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
John 3:16
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RE: Jumping Jiminee, it's June already! - 6/7/2008 6:32:20 PM
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Kath
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Oh Donna, I'm sorry :(
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RE: Jumping Jiminee, it's June already! - 6/7/2008 6:44:26 PM
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JuliaHop
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My middle baby (who ruled as the baby for 8 years) will turn age 20 on Monday. It is so hard to believe. I will be teen free for the next 9 months and it is an almost sad time...I'm way too young to have two children in their 20's. 
_____________________________
For God so loved the World, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
John 3:16
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RE: Jumping Jiminee, it's June already! - 6/7/2008 7:10:55 PM
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PrincessDonna
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quote:
Is summer school only l/2 day and l/2 the summer? Perhaps you can have picnic days on the days that you need to drive him to school.
I have no idea. Nick's mother is a fountain of non-information, as usual. And Brian didn't think to ask. It's probably not the whole summer, but at least half of it, probably the half I'll be MOST pregnant. 
There is nowhere to picnic in this town. It's a stupid ritzy, rich college town...nothing but expensive shops and a lake that is closed to people who don't live in the town. And if it's hot like it is now...I don't even want to think about it. 
It's 88 here today, 40% humidity, and no AC.
_____________________________
<<-----------Brian + vacuum= sexy man!!
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RE: Jumping Jiminee, it's June already! - 6/7/2008 7:40:11 PM
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Kath
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{{{Julia}}} I sometimes wonder where the time goes. :(
Donna, summer school here only lasts one month, Mike only goes from June 2 to June 26 so hopefully yours won't last so long either.
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RE: Jumping Jiminee, it's June already! - 6/8/2008 1:24:41 AM
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thisistheday
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I too, am constantly amazed at the rate at which my children are growing up.
So you heard about the school thing from Nick's mom, not the school, Donna? Bad of them if so. Summer school here is mornings for a month, or maybe 6 weeks, I think. I feel so bad for Nick. I know Donna, that you and hubby are doing all you can to look out for his interests.
Dee
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RE: Jumping Jiminee, it's June already! - 6/8/2008 1:56:50 AM
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Roberta_
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Liz will be doing summer school too. It was her choice.
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RE: Jumping Jiminee, it's June already! - 6/8/2008 7:52:08 AM
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FAWIHTT
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Donna, I am holding my daughter back it is the parents choice. They want her going to summer school but I told them I am not sending her to summer school. She had a very hard year and needs a break so they looked at me and said if she doesn't go to summer school then she has to repeat the 4th grade I said that will be fine. Ultimately, you have the right as a parent to hold your child back.
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God Has Blessed us to make us a blessing. Genesis 12:2
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RE: Jumping Jiminee, it's June already! - 6/8/2008 11:22:56 AM
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garsyt
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quote:
ORIGINAL: FAWIHTT
Donna, I am holding my daughter back it is the parents choice. They want her going to summer school but I told them I am not sending her to summer school. She had a very hard year and needs a break so they looked at me and said if she doesn't go to summer school then she has to repeat the 4th grade I said that will be fine. Ultimately, you have the right as a parent to hold your child back.
Ah but in this case Donna is not Nick's bio mom and apparently even tho Brian is Nick's bio dad - Dad's opinions and rights don't account for much.
Blessings,
Garsy
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My Blog: www.moredayslikethisplease.wordpress.com
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RE: Jumping Jiminee, it's June already! - 6/8/2008 12:43:38 PM
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PrincessDonna
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Thank you, Garsy, for explaining the situation. I get tired of doing that sometimes. 
Yes, we found out via Nick's mom and not the school. And SHE never met with them, and had to be contacted several times to even talk about it. While we have done everything we could to be a part of his schooling and were assured by TWO teachers that they would call us after they talked to his mother and before the decision was made.
I am very discouraged and want to just remove myself from the whole thing. Since we obviously have no say, we'll just have to do what we're told, when we're told to do it. 
I know God has His hand on this whole mess. I just wish He would do something.
_____________________________
<<-----------Brian + vacuum= sexy man!!
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RE: Jumping Jiminee, it's June already! - 6/8/2008 3:22:39 PM
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FAWIHTT
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I am sorry to hear that Donna. I am so tired of people lets just say this system. not giving dad's any respect. Also, lets do what's in the best interest of the child. OHHHH I can imagine your frustration.
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God Has Blessed us to make us a blessing. Genesis 12:2
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RE: Jumping Jiminee, it's June already! - 6/8/2008 3:43:47 PM
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garsyt
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quote:
Thank you, Garsy, for explaining the situation. I get tired of doing that sometimes.
I know my dear. {{{{{Hugs to you}}}}}}
Blessings,
Garsy
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My Blog: www.moredayslikethisplease.wordpress.com
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RE: Jumping Jiminee, it's June already! - 6/9/2008 9:14:09 AM
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PrincessDonna
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Okay, so I really want nothing to do with this whole thing anymore. Meaning, if what I say has no bearing on anything that happens with Nick, then I don't want to do any legwork dealing with him. I don't want to be the one that sets up meetings at his school, calls for copies of medical records, or any of that stuff.
It used to be that Brian did none of the communication with J (Nick's mom). I did it all, and we were getting along fairly well. Brian will not push for anything, where I was able to bargain nicely for some things we wanted so it wasn't all what she wanted. We had a good give and take thing going on...both bending to accommodate the other family. Now it's whatever J wants, J gets, because Brian is afraid of her taking us to court for more money. I admit this makes me feel insanely angry and have told Brian this, but he is obviously not willing to change anything even though he says he agrees with me.
That said, I called the school again today and left a message on his teacher's voice mail. It was not nearly so nice of a message as the last three I have left. I am angry. I don't want to be angry, but I am. We should have been involved in the decision and were made to think that we would be, and then...the decision was made without us and we weren't even informed officially.
Brian has joint custody, which *I* fought for with his go ahead way back when Nick was only 2. I mean, Brian made all the court appearances too, but I was the one that filled out every petition, the one that sat beside him in every single court hearing, the one that encouraged him when things didn't go his way. I don't understand why he won't fight for ANYTHING. I don't understand why our family always has to come last, and it really really hurts after all that I have done for both Brian and Nick.
Maybe I should have never been so involved and just let Brian deal with it all from the beginning. Why those days, weeks, and years of caring for a child that I've been reminded from the beginning is not mine? If I had known then what I know now, I would not have invested myself so deeply in Nicolas. In fact, we'd have probably stayed living in PA (we moved back after our first visit with Nick...on MY insistence that Brian needed to be in NY for his child).
I am angry. Very, very angry. And I don't like it.
I don't expect any feedback from that rant. But thanks for letting me get it out.
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<<-----------Brian + vacuum= sexy man!!
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RE: Jumping Jiminee, it's June already! - 6/9/2008 9:35:10 AM
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PrincessDonna
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BTW, I did just call and speak with the principal. They didn't "realize" that we have joint custody, despite us telling them numerous times and leaving a copy of the court order in the office when he started Kindergarten. She agreed that we should not have had to push as much as we have just for simple notifications that every other parent gets and IF we get them, it's too late to do anything with them. Even fathers who don't have custody in any form have rights unless a court says they don't and schools should be bending over backwards to involve any parent who wants to be involved, not making it insanely frustrating for them to even try.
She did agree that Brian should have been included in the decision and will speak to the teacher today and have her call me. As far as she knew, holding him back was never on the table, even though we were led to believe that it was the option both teachers (classroom and reading/resource) thought would be best for Nick, as do we.
So...now I'm that demanding parent who calls the principal to tattle on the teacher. But I don't care.
_____________________________
<<-----------Brian + vacuum= sexy man!!
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RE: Jumping Jiminee, it's June already! - 6/9/2008 9:47:17 AM
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Auben
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Sometimes they need a little kick in the behind, Donna. You're not demanding the teacher dropped the ball.
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Tamara
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RE: Jumping Jiminee, it's June already! - 6/9/2008 10:30:41 AM
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garsyt
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When it is a child that you've come to love as your own - Then defintiely FIGHT for what you and Brian are entitled too.
What I've found most times with dads, - my brother is a single father with full and sole custody of his boys and joint custody of his daughter- is that they are simply overwhelmed with it all and have been told for so long that kids don't necessarily need dads except to pay for things that they give up. That is until someone like YOU gives them a good solid kick to the rear and is willing to stand behind them for the long haul.
Blessings,
Garsy
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RE: Jumping Jiminee, it's June already! - 6/9/2008 11:14:11 AM
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PrincessDonna
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The teacher just called me back. She was going to go down to the office right now and make sure they mail us ALL the summer school info. Her whole story has changed to thinking that Nicolas shouldn't be held back because it will be emotionally harmful to him (and being the "dumb kid" all the way through school won't be????  ). She also asked that I not call the principal again. Whatever. 
The thing is, Garsy...I'm sick of fighting for every "little" thing I can when Brian is willing to fight for nothing when it comes to what J wants. What about what is best for Nick? What about what is best for our other kids? What about what I, his WIFE, wants? It's probably a bad attitude, but that's where I'm at right now.
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RE: Jumping Jiminee, it's June already! - 6/9/2008 11:35:26 AM
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Kath
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quote:
She also asked that I not call the principal again.
She probably just didn't like that her neglect was found out.
Too bad
so sad,
nobody cried.
I bet she is only going to the office because now the principal knows she dropped the ball.
I'm in the middle of responding to your other post but I had to stop to pick up mike from summer school.
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RE: Jumping Jiminee, it's June already! - 6/9/2008 11:44:23 AM
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Kath
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Donna, I do know how you feel.
Larry has a son with Downs, his name is David. I did everything for him, including wiping his rear. Everything. We were going to a psych with the specialty in mentally retarded people, the whole clinic was devoted for such children. Doc had us do certain things, we had to be consistent, and never waver because David would get confused. I worked hard. Larry'd just sit there while I would work with David over and over. One day Larry said, in sort of a nasty tone, give the kid a break. I was stunned, absolutely stunned. He hadn't lifted a finger once to help me and David was making progress. I was the one running around to SSI, to the workshop, to every single IEP that he never once attended. Not once. It was my job as "the mom" to do it all. I had to file all the paperwork that SSI and the state needed constantly for his disability. I was the one that took him to the hospital when he needed surgery, to every dr appointment, I had to make the calls to the school when they weren't doing their job, I had to clean him when he went BM in his pants, every single day, and clean the bm off the sheets. I brushed his teeth and gave him a bath. When Dan was only a few days old Larry told my mom not to take time off work to help me because he'd be home, but he left me every single day with Dan and David while he went to the farm to build something for his mom. While he was gone David went bm in the bed and all over himself and I lost it. I called my mom just freaking out. She said to just stick him in the shower and let it run on him, leave the bed for larry to deal with and order pizza to be delivered and not to do anything with David, wait for Larry. I probably did scrub him, I couldn't just leave him in there but I left the shower for Larry to clean.
Then we went to file for guardianship for me and Larry, since David was over 21. I was concerned that eventually we'd have trouble with Drs refusing to treat him because he was over 21 and unless there was paperwork saying he was disabled they might not treat him. I had never had trouble but I had read about others that had and I wanted to be covered. I'm the one that always took him. In fact it took me two years and 5 drs before I finally found one that would find out why he was losing weight and not eating. One dr said he needed surgery but he refused to do it since David was retarded.
David's mom was livid about the guardianship and refused to allow it. I had raised that kid, not her, for 13 years. She would go 3 months at a time and not see him. Larry had him alone for 8 years before I came along. She ranted and raved that she was his mother and we seem to forget that. I don't think I was the one that forgot she was his mother  So anyway, she and Larry became the guardian and that was the last time I did anything, no filing paperwork, no taking him to the dr, no IEP meetings, nothing. I was done. About a year later she asked if he could come live with her.
So yeah, I know how you feel. It sucks. (and I hate that word)
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RE: Jumping Jiminee, it's June already! - 6/9/2008 11:56:47 AM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10436
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quote:
Too bad
so sad,
nobody cried.
Thanks, Kath...I needed that chuckle.
(((((((((Kath)))))))))) I'm sorry you understand (and even had to do more than I will ever have to do ), but at the same time, I'm glad someone understands exactly what I mean. It's a lonely place when so many people just can't understand.
quote:
She ranted and raved that she was his mother and we seem to forget that. I don't think I was the one that forgot she was his mother
Boy, that sounds familiar. I'm sure I've heard that somewhere before.
quote:
So anyway, she and Larry became the guardian and that was the last time I did anything, no filing paperwork, no taking him to the dr, no IEP meetings, nothing. I was done.
Did Larry step up then? Or just nothing got done?  And then when David went to live with her...did she take care of him?
_____________________________
<<-----------Brian + vacuum= sexy man!!
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RE: Jumping Jiminee, it's June already! - 6/9/2008 12:04:20 PM
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Kath
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Larry did step up. He took David to his dr appointments, went to the IEPs, he even started giving David his shower and brushing his teeth.
David is happy with his mom. At first she didn't groom him the way larry felt he should be but he looks good now. I think it was a learning curve for her, she was not used to having to shave a face before. (we tried to let David do it himself but he just kept it in one spot and hurt his lip) He's clean, pampered, and lives in a big house with no other kids. My kids are so noisy it really bothered him and he sort of became withdrawn. He was used to the quiet of just Larry and I for so long.
So now T does the paperwork, goes to all his IEPs, all that. She eventually even got him out of diapers. I'm really glad for him.
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RE: Jumping Jiminee, it's June already! - 6/9/2008 12:07:18 PM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10436
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I'm glad they both stepped up finally.
Kath, if no one ever said thank you for all you did...THANK YOU!
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<<-----------Brian + vacuum= sexy man!!
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