RE: "I couldn't handle it". What does that mean, anyway? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [People] >> Women Only



Message

Roberta_ -> RE: "I couldn't handle it". What does that mean, anyway? (6/1/2008 8:16:30 PM)

I like the whole Serenity Prayer....

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr


Taken from HERE.



uponeagleswings -> RE: "I couldn't handle it". What does that mean, anyway? (6/1/2008 8:42:12 PM)

Thank you! I haven't ever heard anything past the first part.



Roberta_ -> RE: "I couldn't handle it". What does that mean, anyway? (6/1/2008 8:44:30 PM)

We say it every week at Celebrate Recovery. I hadn't heard it before then. Avon sells a coffee mug with the whole thing on it. I've sold a lot of them at CR. [;)]



29redballoons -> RE: "I couldn't handle it". What does that mean, anyway? (6/1/2008 9:36:38 PM)

As to what we can really handle, I like the following quote...

“Women are like tea bags. You never know how strong they are until you put them in hot water.”

...and with the Lord, we can "handle" just about anything...
cept I agree with the above, childbirth without an epidural, not for me! [;)]



Jenny-Fair -> RE: "I couldn't handle it". What does that mean, anyway? (6/2/2008 12:29:39 AM)

quote:

My mum fell down our stairs once and broke her hip - the paramedics came and asked her something along the lines of how much pain was she in.
Her response was "Well, for me it's not much pain... but I think a normal person would be crying and screaming right about now."

Sounds like me. I had strep once for weeks because whenever I called the doc's office they said, 'how bad does it hurt on a scale of 1 to 10?' and I said, '3' LOL so they figured I was fine!

I have found that every time I thought I could not handle something, I was wrong. I always thought I could not handle a spinal tap, for instance, but handling it was no problem--and I wanted to die when I had meningitis but still hung on AND fought the doctor who was going to send me home. I also reached the 'I can't do this' point in labor, but I still did it. And during my divorce, and in the 11 years I have spent raising kids, and lately while working an awful job and needing 10 more hours in a day...so far, I have not actually not been able to handle something.

However, I don't think it's MY strength that got me through all those things.



fluffmonkey -> RE: "I couldn't handle it". What does that mean, anyway? (6/2/2008 10:49:51 AM)

quote:


My mum fell down our stairs once and broke her hip - the paramedics came and asked her something along the lines of how much pain was she in.
Her response was "Well, for me it's not much pain... but I think a normal person would be crying and screaming right about now."


My grandma fell threw her front porch good bit a ft. and landed on tools and such they were using to re-do her porch with...when I got to her bone was sticking out of her arm and she had shattered a bone in her arm. She was there for a little while before her neighbor discovered her.... but i think after so long the pain had numbed itself because of so much pain.
She wasnt in to much pain but when they tried to move her she was.



not_the_first -> RE: "I couldn't handle it". What does that mean, anyway? (6/2/2008 9:02:05 PM)

I think it means that you can't handle the "thought" of having to handle it. When you have to handle something though, usually, you just do. I didn't think I could handle two years of infertility, yet here I am and I haven't died or anything. I guess I've died a little on the inside here and there, but physically I'm still here and I'm fine. When i've said I couldn't handle it, or others say it, I think we just can't handle the thought of actually having to go through it.



woodwind228 -> RE: "I couldn't handle it". What does that mean, anyway? (6/3/2008 1:18:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2

quote:

ORIGINAL: solo_soprano22

quote:

ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2

quote:

ORIGINAL: woodwind228

It means yer chicken! LOL Just kidding. I think people just can't imagine having to have to address whatever it is. I had both my kids natural, but they were both relatively quick deliveries. (Thank God!!)

however you had no medical issues that I have that are life threatening...so natural birth may be OK medically speaking for you, but for me it is not in the cards and will never happen. I am not a "chicken" or avoiding something I don't want to address because I know my body's medical limits.


I've never had a child/given birth, but I've always imagined that one woman can't really tell what it truly feels like to another woman. She may think it's the same pain from woman to woman, but how do you know? And how do you know others' threshold for pain?

(Not talking to you specifically Sarah, just in general.)

yeah exactly...which is why I don't like statements like that.


For the record, that post was not meant to offend anyone and I was not even referring to childbirth with that. The childbirth reference was an after thought, not my main point. Obviously different women have different childbirth experiences: some have no problems, some have complication(s), some are quick, some are long, some are vaginal, some are c-section, some are semi-painful, some are excruciating, some are life threatening, some are not...there's no way you can generalize such things as these. You can't really generalize much of anything medically speaking.

The initial post, as I recall, was not specific to childbirth, though it does seem to have morphed into that. As I said earlier, when someone says they "can't handle it", it could just be that they cannot imagine how to begin to handle it (whatever "it" is). Like they're just overwhelmed with whatever the particular situation is. The good news is that you're not alone - God is with you and will help you through whatever it is that you have to face. Just like, Sarah, when He was with you in your painful experience.



stampinlady -> RE: "I couldn't handle it". What does that mean, anyway? (6/3/2008 9:22:02 AM)

Usually, for me it means that I've given up and are ready for God to take over![8D]



PrincessDonna -> RE: "I couldn't handle it". What does that mean, anyway? (6/3/2008 9:33:59 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: not_the_first

I think it means that you can't handle the "thought" of having to handle it. When you have to handle something though, usually, you just do. I didn't think I could handle two years of infertility, yet here I am and I haven't died or anything. I guess I've died a little on the inside here and there, but physically I'm still here and I'm fine. When i've said I couldn't handle it, or others say it, I think we just can't handle the thought of actually having to go through it.


I agree.

I can't handle the thought of losing one of my children or my husband or even extended family. But I know if/when God calls one of them home, He will give the grace and strength to get through it.

I have had people tell me that they couldn't handle their spouse cheating on them and especially having a stepson result from that. I would have said the same thing before it happened to me, even the day before the affairs were discovered or the day before those paternity papers came in the mail. God doesn't give us the grace to deal with things one instant before we need it, IME, but He is ALWAYS there to hold us up and guide us through when we do need it!



bluestone -> RE: "I couldn't handle it". What does that mean, anyway? (6/3/2008 9:38:47 AM)

Not being able to handle something means that the emotional or physical pain is extremely traumatic. It varies from person to person. More than the mind or body, or a combination thereof can take. It can lead to full emotional breakdowns, and even death if the pain is a signal of underlying problems.

Before pain medications women "took" the pain of childbirth...and many died, since abnormal or unusual pain could be a symptom of breach birth, abnormally small birth canal (women would rip, and bleed to death) or lack of proper dilation.

Walk through an old cemetery, and see how many women and infants are buried together, or read stones inscribed "leaves a child three days old".

Not being able to "handle it" particularly in childbirth, is NOT something to be ashamed of. The best thing you can do for your baby is not giving birth at home, free of medications, it is making sure that you will be alive and in good health to raise the child. Not a popular thought around here, but a point I think needs to be made.

Pain is not a badge of courage.



woodwind228 -> RE: "I couldn't handle it". What does that mean, anyway? (6/3/2008 11:26:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bluestone

Not being able to handle something means that the emotional or physical pain is extremely traumatic. It varies from person to person. More than the mind or body, or a combination thereof can take. It can lead to full emotional breakdowns, and even death if the pain is a signal of underlying problems.

Before pain medications women "took" the pain of childbirth...and many died, since abnormal or unusual pain could be a symptom of breach birth, abnormally small birth canal (women would rip, and bleed to death) or lack of proper dilation.

Walk through an old cemetery, and see how many women and infants are buried together, or read stones inscribed "leaves a child three days old".

Not being able to "handle it" particularly in childbirth, is NOT something to be ashamed of. The best thing you can do for your baby is not giving birth at home, free of medications, it is making sure that you will be alive and in good health to raise the child. Not a popular thought around here, but a point I think needs to be made.

Pain is not a badge of courage.


Great post, bluestone.



Consecrated2God -> RE: "I couldn't handle it". What does that mean, anyway? (6/3/2008 1:03:31 PM)

quote:

Not being able to handle something means that the emotional or physical pain is extremely traumatic. It varies from person to person. More than the mind or body, or a combination thereof can take. It can lead to full emotional breakdowns, and even death if the pain is a signal of underlying problems.


I think sometimes we use that phrase when we are simply tired and unwilling to handle any more. It's not that it's traumatic, it's just exhausting. I just came back from VBS and I was glad when it was over, because it was a lot of work. The craft was time-intensive, there were lots of kids that found it too difficult and said, "I can't do it", many of the craft kits were missing pieces or the kids lost them or did the craft wrong before a helper was able to get to them to show how to do it right. We didn't have enough time to prep for the next class, each class was bigger than it was yesterday and so we never had enough prepped, one class was never finished before the next class was ready to come in and do thier craft. I'm glad VBS in only five days, because "I couldn't handle" doing it every day. But there are teachers who work with young kids five days a week through the school year, and they don't keel over and die. They learn to adjust and manage. If I were an elementary school teacher, I would probably learn to deal with it on a daily basis as well. However, it was tiring and it's not something I would willingly do on a daily basis, not something that I really couldn't handle, even though I feel like it right now.



bluestone -> RE: "I couldn't handle it". What does that mean, anyway? (6/3/2008 1:07:35 PM)

Some people use the term to express exaperation.

I have normally found that by the time I realize I can't handle a situation, it is over and I did.[;)]



solo_soprano22 -> RE: "I couldn't handle it". What does that mean, anyway? (6/3/2008 1:18:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God

quote:

Not being able to handle something means that the emotional or physical pain is extremely traumatic. It varies from person to person. More than the mind or body, or a combination thereof can take. It can lead to full emotional breakdowns, and even death if the pain is a signal of underlying problems.


I think sometimes we use that phrase when we are simply tired and unwilling to handle any more. It's not that it's traumatic, it's just exhausting. I just came back from VBS and I was glad when it was over, because it was a lot of work. The craft was time-intensive, there were lots of kids that found it too difficult and said, "I can't do it", many of the craft kits were missing pieces or the kids lost them or did the craft wrong before a helper was able to get to them to show how to do it right. We didn't have enough time to prep for the next class, each class was bigger than it was yesterday and so we never had enough prepped, one class was never finished before the next class was ready to come in and do thier craft. I'm glad VBS in only five days, because "I couldn't handle" doing it every day. But there are teachers who work with young kids five days a week through the school year, and they don't keel over and die. They learn to adjust and manage. If I were an elementary school teacher, I would probably learn to deal with it on a daily basis as well. However, it was tiring and it's not something I would willingly do on a daily basis, not something that I really couldn't handle, even though I feel like it right now.


I think the thing is, there are times when people say the phrase to convey exhaustion or how difficult something is. Other times it really is too much for them... I've seen people crack and never be the same again, so it's not always just a phrase. There are people who DO have breakdowns and who can NOT handle situations without losing mental sanity or something simlar.

There are people in psychiatric wards who couldn't handle it... but I wouldn't say they could and just didn't try or didn't want to. Then again, I'm not them. We don't all handle situations the same emotionally, and we don't all have the same emotional capacity. What might seem trivilal to one of us may be overwhelming to another.



LaurainAL -> RE: "I couldn't handle it". What does that mean, anyway? (6/4/2008 2:45:30 PM)

Maybe "I couldn't handle it" means "I don't want to have to deal with it". Life is all about choices.

I don't want to have to deal with natural child birth, dental work with out pain meds, etc.... Who really know what we are capable of handling except God himself.



Nicole_Michelle -> RE: "I couldn't handle it". What does that mean, anyway? (6/4/2008 4:55:40 PM)

When I say something along the lines of "I couldn't handle it" I mean that I wouldn't want to go through that or deal with it, but I know I could handle it because I would have no choice but to deal with it.

For example: I might say "I couldn't handle having Lorne gone for 6 months" if he was in the army. I wouldn't like it and I would be really sad and lonely, but I wouldn't wither away to nothing. I would just prefer him to always work close to home.



Consecrated2God -> RE: "I couldn't handle it". What does that mean, anyway? (6/5/2008 8:25:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: InBetweenDreams

When I say something along the lines of "I couldn't handle it" I mean that I wouldn't want to go through that or deal with it, but I know I could handle it because I would have no choice but to deal with it.

For example: I might say "I couldn't handle having Lorne gone for 6 months" if he was in the army. I wouldn't like it and I would be really sad and lonely, but I wouldn't wither away to nothing. I would just prefer him to always work close to home.


I think that's the way most people mean it. It's not that they really couldn't handle it, they just don't want to. The thing is, somehow it sets up those who are handling it as somehow tougher than everyone else. For example, I could say that I couldn't handle having my husband gone for long periods of time (never had to, either) and it would be easier to look at military wives as having superhuman strength for being able to handle what I couldn't. But I'm not so sure they really are stronger than we are, they are just getting through what they have to. I bet they miss their husbands as much as we would if it were us.

I think it would be more honest if we would say that we don't want to do something instead of saying we couldn't handle it.



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: "I couldn't handle it". What does that mean, anyway? (6/5/2008 8:36:37 AM)

quote:

I think it would be more honest if we would say that we don't want to do something instead of saying we couldn't handle it


I agree. I think a lot of times "I can't handle it" really means "I don't want to deal with it".

I had someone tell me recently that obviously my labors were painless so natural birth was fine for me but that she couldn't handle the pain, that she "really felt" the contractions (thereby assuming I didn't feel them). She didn't want to deal with the pain, fine by me. [:)] But to assume that I didn't have any "real" pain because I could "handle it" is kind of mean. [&:] And on the flip side of it, I don't think it takes someone special to deal with childbirth pain. I know for a fact I am *not* superwoman.



Consecrated2God -> RE: "I couldn't handle it". What does that mean, anyway? (6/5/2008 12:42:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom
I had someone tell me recently that obviously my labors were painless so natural birth was fine for me but that she couldn't handle the pain, that she "really felt" the contractions (thereby assuming I didn't feel them). She didn't want to deal with the pain, fine by me. [:)] But to assume that I didn't have any "real" pain because I could "handle it" is kind of mean. [&:] And on the flip side of it, I don't think it takes someone special to deal with childbirth pain. I know for a fact I am *not* superwoman.


Reminds me of Mrs. Gummidge from the book "David Copperfield". She considered herself a "lone, lorn creetur" and "everythink always went contrary to her." She was sure that she felt things more than other people did. [8D]

Anyway, I think we've identified three different meanings people have for the phrase now:

1. I can't handle it--meaning exactly that. I can't handle it. If I am put in that position I will die or be committed to a mental institution. I will literally not make it through that.

2. I can't handle it--meaning that I can't handle it well. I might be able to survive through it, but the quality of what I do will suffer. I've taken on a big case load, and if I take on any more something will suffer for it. I may not get around to cleaning my house for two weeks, or I might have to ignore my children or husband, or I will do such a sloppy job at it I might have well as not tried to do it in the first place.

3. I can't handle it--meaning I don't want to do it. The thought does not sound appealing to me, and although I probably could do it, I have no intentions of trying.

I think too many people say that they can't handle it instead of saying they don't want to do it because they don't want someone to try and pressure them into it. It sounds less selfish to be able to blame it on something beyond your control than to admit that you just don't want to.



bluestone -> RE: "I couldn't handle it". What does that mean, anyway? (6/5/2008 1:07:25 PM)

Let me add another category:

I can't handle it meaning there is no logical reason for me to handle it.

I have running water in my house, so there is no need for me to go to the trouble to bring water in buckets from a well. It save me time and energy.

Vs.

I will be Bringing buckets of water from a well when there is a working faucet in the house. Because that's what they did before modern plumbing, so it must be best. Oh, and if you use the faucet, you are a weak woman and Christian.



solo_soprano22 -> RE: "I couldn't handle it". What does that mean, anyway? (6/5/2008 1:11:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bluestone

Let me add another category:

I can't handle it meaning there is no logical reason for me to handle it.

I have running water in my house, so there is no need for me to go to the trouble to bring water in buckets from a well. It save me time and energy.

Vs.

I will be Bringing buckets of water from a well when there is a working faucet in the house. Because that's what they did before modern plumbing, so it must be best. Oh, and if you use the faucet, you are a weak woman and Christian.


I hear people say or strongly imply similar things many times...from using painkillers to birthing to schooling. [8|]



Consecrated2God -> RE: "I couldn't handle it". What does that mean, anyway? (6/5/2008 1:14:48 PM)

quote:

I can't handle it meaning there is no logical reason for me to handle it.


I don't think I've personally heard anyone use that phrase in that context. If there's no logical reason to handle it, the response is usually more along the lines of, "Why would I want to do that?" instead of "I couldn't handle it."



Roberta_ -> RE: "I couldn't handle it". What does that mean, anyway? (6/5/2008 1:34:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
1. I can't handle it--meaning exactly that. I can't handle it. If I am put in that position I will die or be committed to a mental institution. I will literally not make it through that.


As someone who has been in a behavorial health unit three times now, the stigma attached to it is the hardest part to handle. I thought I couldn't handle it, but I did with a lot of help from Christ.

Can everyone handle it? I don't know.

The first two times were against my will. It boiled down to "ya gotta do whatcha gotta do" mentality. It's not something that I ever want to do again. It's painful emotionally and the lack of understanding from family and friends and possible rejection are even harder to deal with. However, if it happens again, it happens again.



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: "I couldn't handle it". What does that mean, anyway? (6/5/2008 1:57:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God

quote:

I can't handle it meaning there is no logical reason for me to handle it.


I don't think I've personally heard anyone use that phrase in that context. If there's no logical reason to handle it, the response is usually more along the lines of, "Why would I want to do that?" instead of "I couldn't handle it."

I would say that one could fit things like indoor plumbing.....in other places (other countries) it is not there, but here it is a given pretty much that you will have it....so it could be illogical to think that you would even have to handle it.



Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>



Forum Software © ASPPlayground.NET Advanced Edition 2.5 ANSI