RE: General Mommy Thread (Full Version)

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Karaboo2 -> RE: General Mommy Thread (6/5/2008 9:30:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: manda59
<rubs hands together with glee, and adds this to her stash of sigs [;)] >


I was wondering how long it would take before I got added to your list ... LOL

Uh oh peeps ... I'm on Manda's siggy hitlist!



Brandy -> RE: General Mommy Thread (6/5/2008 9:30:59 PM)

Manda you have to quote it all, not just "Manda gives great advice"

[;)][;)]

Kara I agree with sometimes not having support. I don't really have support here, I'm making it. I'm making grocery shopping easier by doing it online, I'm setting up appts with a Women's Health rep (read almost shrink) to keep tabs on me and I'm putting dates on my calander of the next 2 months of the local mommy support group AND I've got the La Leche Leagues number on the fridge. All just in case. I do have one or two friends I can call on, one being a pediatric RN herself but that's all the IRL support I have right now at this stage of 0-infant age. Hopefully as I get out there and force myself into groups I will have other ladies to call upon as needed.



Sideways -> RE: General Mommy Thread (6/5/2008 9:33:01 PM)

I liked Karaboo's post a lot. It was very well balanced and well spoken.

If I have an ongoing concern, then many folks here have given me great advice. If I'm simply having a bad day, then it helps to come in here and vent and get a little sympathy.



paulsbride -> RE: General Mommy Thread (6/5/2008 9:37:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Brandy
Ok I can't help myself here..This is directed at NO ONE in particular in this thread or area of the board..

I have seen people make lists, offer to contact groups and do other helpful things for people here in these very forums over the last 10 years that I've been a part of them.. time and time again the help goes ignored and they just keep plodding away with how awful their life is, how awful their spouse/kid/brother/mother/sister/whoever is and refuse to use the help offered.

That's what frustrates me to no end.

I understand that moms get overwhelmed, I plan on getting there myself BUT I also plan on having things in place, people and other services to HELP me when I need it rather than coming on here and saying "woah is me" and not doing anything to help myself or my child/situation.

Cliches are over used for sure, but I really like the big girl panties quote [:)] Pull them up and get help OFF LINE or ON it doesn't matter, but get it and stop digging your own hole deeper and deeper.


I agree with you. That's all [:)]



manda59 -> RE: General Mommy Thread (6/5/2008 9:38:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Brandy
Manda you have to quote it all, not just "Manda gives great advice"




Actually, I was thinking of getting two out of it! lol



Karaboo2 -> RE: General Mommy Thread (6/5/2008 9:40:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sideways
I liked Karaboo's post a lot. It was very well balanced and well spoken.


Thank you ... sometimes it takes a lot to get a clear thought to come across (that example of a day with DD was my day today ... and the littlest kidlets got really sick the moment we arrived at the soccer field, simply because it was SOOOO hot ...)



nicole6598 -> RE: General Mommy Thread (6/5/2008 9:47:06 PM)

I actually don't think posts like "pull your panties up" and things like that are beneficial to anyone. They come across as harsh, rude and uncaring. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
Alot of the time people online are crying out for someone to listen as they may not have that support around them. If you don't want to be the one to say "there there" then take a hike and let someone else do it. But keep your comments like the one above (not just having a go at Ryanne, using that as an example as others have) to yourself if you can't add anything supportive and LOVING. I am sorry but Jesus did NOT use that attitude to people. Yes he may have said, stop what you are doing now do better, but he was there in real life, people heard his voice, felt his touch, saw the love in his eyes. The net doesn't allow for that. So even if your intention is to say it with all the love in the world. Those snide, sarcastic remarks are NOT helpful and make the person feel even worse then they already do. Some of those people who like to tell it as it is maybe needs to learn how to rephrase things in a more gentler way as online you read it how it is written. And if you aren't good at communicating love in the written form where there needs to be some advice thrown in that may offend, then don't write it.
Take a second to think "will this hurt the person more then help them" and if it does, there is a backspace key....
I'm off for the weekend.



Karaboo2 -> RE: General Mommy Thread (6/5/2008 9:48:37 PM)

Have a good weekend, Nicole!



LaurainAL -> RE: General Mommy Thread (6/5/2008 9:57:59 PM)

Have a good weekend Nicole and know that there are people on this forum that care about you.



PrudentWife -> RE: General Mommy Thread (6/5/2008 10:00:06 PM)

I understand what you are looking for Nicole.

There is always a nice way to say things...

Proverbs 31:26 She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.



Karaboo2 -> RE: General Mommy Thread (6/5/2008 10:00:13 PM)

Laura, I *just* noticed your siggy line ... I soooo need to borrow it to use on MSN!!!



Georgia-Peach -> RE: General Mommy Thread (6/5/2008 10:02:50 PM)

(((Nicole)))



Mrs.Wifey -> RE: General Mommy Thread (6/5/2008 10:09:56 PM)

Nicole, no one has ever told you to "pull up your panties".

I totally agree with Brandy's post. I get tired of hearing the same problems and offering the same advice to have the person TOTALLY ignore what advice is offered. For the most part I do ignore those people but it eventually gets to the point where I just want to either beat my head against a brick wall or go get sloshed.



LaurainAL -> RE: General Mommy Thread (6/5/2008 10:12:36 PM)

remember that you can block people that bug you.



29redballoons -> RE: General Mommy Thread (6/5/2008 10:18:36 PM)

I really do want to share some input here, and I want to share with love. Yes, I believe there are times Jesus stops listening to us when we are going on about the same things over and over again. I believe that is what he did with me and my daycare situation...I kept begging, and finally He said...here, fall on your face, get over it, and let's move on. I am not comparing the above situation to mine, I am making a point. Please read this in the way it is intended, do not add or take away from it.
I also believe when people say, put on your big girl panties and get to it...that is a nicer thing to say than...well deal with it, what are your alternatives. I think I can sometimes get so caught up in my negatives during the day that I miss the positives. My best girlfriend told me one time..."I am so tired of hearing you complain about ________, at least you have _________, would you rather not be in this situation. I was so ticked off, I don't think I talked to her for a week. BUT, when I finally thought about her point and how I sounded, I realized she was right.
I said all of this to say, I haven't read all of the posts, I do not know why Nicole's feelings are so hurt,(I am assuming it is coming in from another thread also) but sometimes we have to read just what is written, not add or take away from the content. Ryanne may have had the best intentions, just singleing you out girl...hope ya don't mind, but often we read more into the response than was ever intended.
I hope I am making sense...if not please feel free to tell me and I will quickly delete this response.

Be blessed.



Georgia-Peach -> RE: General Mommy Thread (6/5/2008 10:19:30 PM)

Maybe people have tried the advice and it didn't work for them so they are still at a crossroads of how to make the situation better. I don't know I just try to have compassion for those struggling with certain things. I know I struggled with things that I have probably posted about more than once on here so I am sure I have annoyed quite a few people. But, it was good to vent and eventually I worked my way through the situation(s).

But,I agree with Reds post. I have realized that no matter what is going on in my life or my day that I need to be thankful for my life including the frustrations that are in it at that moment. Yes, Hunter can sometimes rattle my nerves, but I know women who would give anything to have a child to rattle their nerves. So I have tried to stop in those moments and thank God for my little nerve rattler. Same with the hubby or any other issue that comes up. Find the good in it, learn something from it, and move on to the next thing in life.



Mrs.Wifey -> RE: General Mommy Thread (6/5/2008 10:20:41 PM)

May I just point out that I never told ANYONE to pull up their big girl panties. I said there are TIMES when as mother's that is what we need to do[;)]



Mrs.X -> RE: General Mommy Thread (6/5/2008 10:22:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaurainAL

Have a good weekend Nicole and know that there are people on this forum that care about you.

Ditto



LaurainAL -> RE: General Mommy Thread (6/5/2008 10:26:38 PM)

It doesn't irritate me if someone doesn't take any advice that I may give on this forum. You don't know me from Adam's house cat. I could be a 50 year old man for all you all know have have zero knowledge about the subject.Maybe I just stayed at a Holiday Inn last night [8D]. I think it is quite arrogant to expect people to follow advice that we post on the internet. Is it just me?



29redballoons -> RE: General Mommy Thread (6/5/2008 10:28:06 PM)

Which Holiday Inn? I have stayed in quite a few....[;)]



nicole6598 -> RE: General Mommy Thread (6/5/2008 10:53:07 PM)

Prudent, thank you! That was the scripture I was looking for! Well done!!

Thanks Christina, you are a doll [:)]

Anyway, its not all about me, I am sticking up for ANYONE who has ever been told to get over it, or move on, or stop whining etc etc. (Ryanne I have been told in the pass those many times, not only by you but others, but I choose to get over it, however some people don't and it does hurt at the time).

People need to stop judging others so quickly when they are having a bad time. Like that other thread with "can't handle it" or whatever, some people can handle more than others, some people can't. That doesn't give anyone the right to try and act all high and mighty towards the other person. I know that when I post something, more often then not unless I say "hey does anyone have a suggestion" I am looking for a "been there, it will be ok, maybe you could try... I will be thinking of you" not a "well I told you 5 weeks ago that you should of done..... and you haven't so now you only have you to blame....."

LOL Laura, exactly. I couldn't care less if someone didn't listen to what I suggested, I just ignore them (I haven't had to do that on here before because I tend to have compassion for those people who keep crying out for it).

For me personally, I get enough put downs, "get over it" etc etc from my RL I don't need it on the net too. And I would think that as a group of sisters in Christ we can put whatever we have aside and just love one another instead of trying to take one another down.
Not one single one of us knows what the other person is going through on both sides, we need to stop and think about what walk that other person has had that day, step into their shoes before we post. As Prudent posted that verse, speak with wisdom.
Ok, I really am gone now, just eating lunch and then a quick tidy
Love to you all, yes even those who I am disagreeing with today [:D]



PrudentWife -> RE: General Mommy Thread (6/5/2008 11:23:30 PM)

((((Nicole))))

For some reason some people on Crosswalk seem to walk around with a target on their back. You seem to be one of them, dear Nicole. Maybe it's because you are kind of fiesty and have that great AU wit that people will go round & round & round with you. I don't know.

But at the end of the day, I do believe we all mean well, we just have very different ways of expressing our support.

My BTDT encouragement to you......Reagan was an incredibly stressful baby. She had no physical ailments, but was very fussy and high needs. We saw no improvement or progress in her behavior during her first year of life. It was so discouraging because we were convinced we were doing something wrong. We thought we should see slow & gradual changes in her behavior. But nothing changed until some switch was flipped at exactly 12.5 months. Then without warning she just started sleeping through the night and crying less. It was an enormous breakthrough, and the only noticeable improvement in an entire year.

So just because you aren't seeing improvement doesn't mean that you are many months away from peace. Sometimes these things happen suddenly. And you know what? As fast as the all day crying decreased and the all night parties ended, hubby & I recovered. It didn't take us a year to restore mental & emotional peace. It took two days. We went from weak & weary to sound & whole almost instantly.

I hope and pray that your breakthrough comes soon, Nicole.



TammyIsBlessed -> RE: General Mommy Thread (6/6/2008 12:06:00 AM)

I think the key to remember is that everybody needs something different.

I fairly rarely complain about something. Usually if I do, what I need to hear is "That must be really rough right now." Basically I need someone to hear me out and let me vent. THEN once I'm finished, I'm ready for the advice. [;)]

I'm not offended if I get the advice right away, but that's usually not what I'm looking for initially, kwim?

Though I absolutely do think it's great if we hold each other accountable and not let us get into a pity party funk either because that does no one any good!

Sleep deprivation though is a really tough one to handle. I at least, can handle so much more when I've had a good rest.



Mrs.X -> RE: General Mommy Thread (6/6/2008 12:39:53 AM)

Prudent, your post was soo encouraging to hear. I kinda feel like I must be doing something wrong because of how much Jimmy wakes up in the night. I do know that snoring is some of it. Granted he's in the bed with us, so I only need to half wake up and nurse him, and he goes right back. But, still, I just wish I could get some uninterrupted sleep. Ryanne posted a link a while back for me that I really think would work, but hubby is not on board because it may involve some crying in the middle of the night. So, basically, I'm just stuck waiting.



manda59 -> RE: General Mommy Thread (6/6/2008 3:05:24 AM)

quote:


ORIGINAL: PrudentWife
There is always a nice way to say things...

Proverbs 31:26 She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.





Prudent,

There is always a nice way of receiving things too - erring on the side of giving the benefit of the doubt, and assuming good intent on the part of the giver.

1 Corinthians 13:7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.



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