I can't get over it (Full Version)

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consumingfires -> I can't get over it (6/5/2008 9:56:05 AM)

I met a guy . We sms a lot and called quite frequently for 3 months. We only went out for 3 dates. After 3 months he decide to just stop calling me with the same frequency.
Result of that I got depress and was very upset.

I started calling him like a hundred times a day but he would not pick up his phone. Since that day it has been 3 months now and I still can't get over it.

I feel ashame , embarassed, regret and I feel like I don't want to go on living.

Have you guys ever had the same experience or am I the only desperate gal existing on earth.
I can't believe I idolize the guy so much after all there was nothing confirm between us. I thought I could handle the flirting like an adult. I am already 26.

An I mess it up and feel really stupid right now



Pauley464 -> RE: I can't get over it (6/5/2008 10:26:02 AM)

You aren't alone. I also feel the same desperation from time to time. It's hard getting over someone whom we have felt so strongly about but it is possible. I've done it.
It requires a lot of time and an adjustment of your mind.
Admit to yourself that it's over and he's no longer interested.
Pray to God and ask for His help accepting that it's over.
Dispose of everything you have that reminds you of him.
Begin retraining your mind. Every time you think of him, turn your attention to something else. Ask for God's help with this also.

With time, you'll get over it.



iwillfearnoevil -> RE: I can't get over it (6/5/2008 10:28:59 AM)

welcome to crosswalk aposfus. the guy was a wimp in either sending you mixes signals during the 'relationship' or by just disappearing and not having any sort of goodbye. well it's easy to fall for someone and there is lots of biology involved as well, so try not to beat yourself up. you can use this to learn in your next relationships, to try to stay more level. you aren't alone for having fallen for someone more than they have liked you back.



jlp1 -> RE: I can't get over it (6/5/2008 3:45:12 PM)

quote:

the guy was a wimp in either sending you mixes signals during the 'relationship' or by just disappearing and not having any sort of goodbye.

I don't think so maybe he has his reasons but nevertheless, she was a bit out of line
quote:

I started calling him like a hundred times a day but he would not pick up his phone. Since that day it has been 3 months now and I still can't get over it.


Desperation can get the best of us and its probably not him but the idea of him (relationship) that you desire. So just reevaluate the situation and move on.



rcudawg -> RE: I can't get over it (6/5/2008 4:19:55 PM)

Apofus,

I'm sorry to hear about the pain that you're going through. Many of us have been though very difficult times, be it loss of a loved one through death or, like myself, had to go through the pain of divorce.

Heartache is, for better or for worse, a natural part of life. Some deal with it well, others do not. Whether it was working as a chaplain at a hospital for CPE (clinical pastoral education) while in seminary or my experiences working in the Nebraska Department of Corrections, some people deal with life well. Others do not. When people decide to give us the short end of the stick in a relationship (either intentionally or unintentionally) it always hurts. Although, if someone does it on purpose, there's more of a sense of betrayal.

During the difficult times that I have experienced, and this started while I was going through the heartache with my ex-, a phrase comes to my mind. Although it's not a biblical quote, it is Scripturally based. "And this to shall pass...." That is, life is ever changing. Both joys and heartaches will come and go in our lives. Friends will come and go, though God sometimes will greatly bless us with some who 'hang around' for quite a while. But, with each experience we have, we can either try to hold on to it, or just let it come and go. I don't mean to forget (or try to), but to embrace it while it is there, and then learn from it and focus on what God wants you to experience next.

I'm a firm believer that God appoints things in their due season for our growth and maturity. It may be fun at times, and some times it may really, really suck. But, with God in control, it will all be for benefit (Romans 8:28). Though it may hurt now... Ask God what He wants you to learn from it, to take from it. And, ask Him to help you move on. Even if it's a crawl, it's movement...

In Christ,

RC



RubySparkles -> RE: I can't get over it (6/5/2008 4:56:06 PM)

You're not stupid. Most people have been through something like that. You will feel better in time and these things help you grow.



consumingfires -> RE: I can't get over it (6/5/2008 8:05:32 PM)

Yeap I agree that I was totally out of line and probably if I could I would just slap myself.
I know that this will pass. But I still cannot accept that I acted the way I did. It was totally not me. Inside I think I don't want to admit that I am desperate.
I wish that he would apologize , then I can let go.

Right now I feel that any relationship with guy is dangerous. I can't think of the opposite sex as just a friend. After all why would a guy want to talk to you at my age unless he is interested.



woodwind228 -> RE: I can't get over it (6/5/2008 8:24:19 PM)

quote:

I wish that he would apologize , then I can let go.


Don't count on that. It may be highly unlikely that he will apologize, especially the way he disappeared. You have to be prepared to forgive - that is the only way to let it go. It will get easier with time. Sounds cliche, but there's no "quick fix". Don't waste this experience - learn from it. There is a purpose in everything.

I agree that you need to get rid of everything possible that reminds you of him. And when thoughts of him come to mind, think about something else. Quickly. Don't stay stuck where you are. There's someone better, someone that God intends for you. But you must be patient for that person and not just get involved with someone for the sake of having a bf or husband. It will hurt more when that ends.



Jessalynn -> RE: I can't get over it (6/7/2008 1:39:10 AM)

God bless you for going out on a limb! Only when we step out of what is comfortable and into the unknown, we begin to grow. Experiences of disappointment will happen. However, when the good opportunities take flight, you will appreciate them with a new sense of gratitude.

It is easy to feel hopeless when we are hurt. I encourage you to turn to the One who has your name written on the palm of His hand. Pursuing you daily, He calls you sweetly by beloved, my darling, and my bride. In His sight, you are precious. He loves you so deeply, that He gave His life just for you.

Turn to God, and receive His love. He will be faithful to you as long as you believe in Him. In Habukkuk 9:9, it says, " Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion! Shout aloud, O daughter of Jersualem! Behold your King comes to you; He is [uncompromisingly] just and having salvation [triumphant and victorius] patient, meek, and lowely..." The following verse, we are encouraged to "return to the stronghold [of security and prosperity] you prisoners of hope, even today do I declare that I will restore double your former prosperity to you."

The guy that you had spent time with is missing out on a special person. Just think how he left a great opportunity to be with you. You DO have a lot to offer. Whoever walked away, he doesn't deserve you. Remember who you are in Christ.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!



CoeurdeLeon_ -> RE: I can't get over it (6/7/2008 7:58:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: aposfus

Yeap I agree that I was totally out of line and probably if I could I would just slap myself.
I know that this will pass. But I still cannot accept that I acted the way I did. It was totally not me. Inside I think I don't want to admit that I am desperate.
I wish that he would apologize , then I can let go.

Right now I feel that any relationship with guy is dangerous. I can't think of the opposite sex as just a friend. After all why would a guy want to talk to you at my age unless he is interested.

What I bolded is the important part. This is the part that God can use (if you let Him) to teach you to rely more fully on Him. This is the part of yourself that you were blind to previously but, now that you know it, you and God can use it to learn some things.

I know it's humiliating and humbling. But, sometimes, that's exactly where God needs us to be to make His point. Don't kick yourself anymore. Talk to God about it and see what He says. You are already a much smarter person now than before the relationship. God will use it to make you even smarter and stronger in the future but you must give it to Him to do.

Blessings[:)]



consumingfires -> RE: I can't get over it (6/9/2008 5:20:05 AM)

quote:

The guy that you had spent time with is missing out on a special person. Just think how he left a great opportunity to be with you. You DO have a lot to offer. Whoever walked away, he doesn't deserve you. Remember who you are in Christ.


Thanks Jess,

I felt better after reading what you wrote to me in the above.
He did miss out on something special. Though it's not really true cause I know I can be a pretty mean person at times and he would be at the losing end if he would have stayed with me.

I mean that I am not mature and ready yet.

Well no use regretting the past. But writing in this forum and hearing from ya'll really help heaps.

I've been talking bout this a lot too.

I hope to be more positive and talk about it in a less negative way because it is taking a toll on me and I feel very low on peace and confidence level as well.

And everytime I still think like how some guys look like him and how I would not settle for anything less than anyone like him.

I hope that I will be stronger and not take backward steps in my growing up journey. I think that God is building the bricks but somehow I tear it down at a faster rate with my reckless behaviour. And therefore the me now is no different from the me 7 years ago



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