4 year old (Full Version)

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4everloved -> 4 year old (6/7/2008 11:51:16 PM)

My ds just turned 4 years old and for the last few weeks refuses to do any sort of " homeschooling". He doesn't want to read books, play boardgames, count, sing or draw. All things he loved to do until recently. He tells me that he doesn't want to go to school or grow up, he says he is my babyboy. On his birthday he didn't even want to open his presents or blow out his birthday candles. Do you have any ideas how to get him over his fear of school and growing up and how to get him to learn again without forcing him. I don't want him to loose his joy of learning. Anyone ever had the same problem? Thanks for your help.



Ellie-Mae -> RE: 4 year old (6/8/2008 12:20:48 AM)

I have never had that problem, but the solution is simple... at least for now. Don't do school. Kids that age can and do learn without it.

What DOES he like to do? Having a child that just wants to be your babyboy can be such a blessing. Include him on all the cooking, cleaning and errands that you can and do things that he likes to do.

Enjoy! They grow up so fast.



OneOfHisJewels -> RE: 4 year old (6/8/2008 12:51:31 AM)

I don't really have an answer what to do about it, but honestly, I think that is ADORABLE! Thank you, I really needed something to cheer me up right now.



kaybee15 -> RE: 4 year old (6/8/2008 12:57:19 AM)

I suggest telling your son how much he will love school, and how many fun things he'll be able to do.



cynthia -> RE: 4 year old (6/8/2008 1:37:22 AM)

I suggest you read The Three R's, by Ruth Beechick. Your son is four years old. I don't know what you are expecting of him, but it appears that he is feeling pressured. That is not a good thing for a four year old. It can lead to all sorts of issues that you will have a very hard time overcoming, if you don't nip it in the bud right now. The book suggestions above may give you some encouragement and lots of great idea. The author is a lovely woman with a heart of homeschoolers. She is very wise.



4everloved -> RE: 4 year old (6/8/2008 1:49:35 AM)

Thanks for all your kind words, they really put a smile on my face. He loves nature and we spent our days with our dog, watching cats or counting birds. He really likes to watch them and ask me tons of questions that often make me smile. It's a great way also to show him God's love for us and creation and he has started to ask a lot of questions about God. I'm not worried about him being behind any " curriculum", he knows his colors, abc and numbers. I think he is afraid of going to school because he'd have to be away from me, he is with me all day. He sees his older sister going off to school and coming home with homework and starts singing " i don't want to go to school, no, no, no.. by the naked brother's band. I just try to figure out how to ease his fear of school, telling him how much fun it is doesn't seem to work. But I probably worry too much, thanks again for your caring responses.



misaham -> RE: 4 year old (6/8/2008 9:27:18 AM)

Hi,
We had a similar situation with my son when he was 3. I was homeschooling his sister, kindergarten, and was using Sonlight. He LOVES to have me read to him, but if he knew that I was reading a book for "school" he refused to sit with me and listen. Of course, his sister loved to do school, so it was tough to hide the fact that it was "school". However, he would sit on the floor, just a couple feet away, and he would absorb everything that I read. Too funny! I agree that you should not worry. Just do fun stuff with him, and I am sure that he will turn around. About the presents, however, that one is a tough one. What kid doesn't want presents???[sm=funny.gif]



JuliaHop -> RE: 4 year old (6/8/2008 10:07:50 AM)

Will your son be leaving home for K4 this fall? Is it a full time or part time program? If he will be going, has he had the chance to observe the classroom to see what he will be experiencing?

It sounds like he is really afraid of being the "you're a big boy, you're 4, you're going to school this year" and maybe it is time to remind him that he is not a "big boy" yet and that he is still your "baby."

If it was my child going to organized school this year, I would stop pushing any organized academic program and enjoy the summer. I would be very concerned that my child would be bored if he knew everything that they were teaching in class beorehand. It's fun to learn new things.

When I thought that my middle son would be going to our local public school K5 I put the brakes on what I was teaching at home...he would have been bored when he started because it was a "developmentally appropriate" school meaning that advanced academics were not encouraged. It would take the entire year of K5 to review the letters of the alphabet. A few weeks before school started we changed our minds and he was enrolled in a private school...very academic. We then had a crash course in the alphabet, numbers, colors, money, etc... He was ready when school started.



creationtalk -> RE: 4 year old (6/8/2008 10:13:51 AM)

I guess my first question is are there things that you used to do with your "baby boy" that you don't now do because he's "growing up"? My son struggles with reading and resisted practicing reading until I started letting him sit on my lap while he read to me--he used to sit on my lap while I read to him. When I started expecting him to read independently, he missed the closeness of having me read to him.

Also, I agree with those who say put aside the "school" stuff and involve him in real life, exploring the world. Let him experience cause-and-effect for himself. The more real-world experience he can get the better.

Do I understand from
quote:

I just try to figure out how to ease his fear of school, telling him how much fun it is doesn't seem to work.

that you are planning to send your son to public school? If so, then I really suggest that you back off a lot on the school type stuff now because you run the risk of having him way ahead of his classmates and potentially bored in school. I've seen this with a couple of children. In one case, the school tested the child and moved him up a grade, in the other, the teachers got angry with the child because he would have finished his work and couldn't sit still with nothing to do.



Ellie-Mae -> RE: 4 year old (6/8/2008 10:19:06 AM)

Another thing that I thought of is that I quite often call my kids "Babe" or "Baby". Sometimes they need that reassurance that no matter how old they are that they will always be my babies.



Jenny-Fair -> RE: 4 year old (6/8/2008 10:40:49 PM)

quote:

Don't do school.

I agree. Forcing formal 'school' at a young age causes the child to dislike it. You need to 'unschool' for a few years. Your child WILL regain his desire to learn and you will only have trouble keeping up with him.



locomom -> RE: 4 year old (6/9/2008 12:47:33 AM)

You can also "prime the pump" with reading by leaving books he would enjoy ou, reading for fun yourself, and reading his books for fun. Remind him that you read books to him when he was very little. Let him know he can be both your baby and your big boy at the same time. He doesn't have to give up one to have the other.



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: 4 year old (6/9/2008 7:10:43 AM)

Maybe he would also do better if you just simply quit referring to things as "school"....in our house we call coloring just that, coloring. We call drawing shapes, drawing shapes. We call writing stuff, writing stuff. We try to stay as far away from the mental bog down of "school" as possible....and it makes the kids more apt to want to do those things and learn while doing them.



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