Ok ex-Crownies.... I am out of ideas (Full Version)

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tfkeel -> Ok ex-Crownies.... I am out of ideas (6/12/2008 5:33:46 PM)

Trying to help my sister in-the-Lord who just had her husband up and leave with mid-life-crisis.... she has gone from being a SAHM to a single head-of-household, and naturally, the child support isn't being paid... the
father is drinking and carrousing away his life and the courts aren't doing much about it.

Thankfully, she doesn't have any CC debt and no loans. She has been going to nursing school, part-time, as she could afford it. I actually gave her money for tuition twice as a gift to help her out. If God continues to lead, I will probably pop for her tuition again in the fall as a gift.

She has no real skills, any job she gets is going to be entry-level. She makes 100 bucks for cleaning a house, and she has a few of those, a couple weekly, and a couple monthly. It is a pretty good hourly rate for that, she says it takes 5 hours average to do it, including some drive time.

What I don't know is how to balance her budget on what she can make, and stay in night school. Jobs she can get start at 8-9 bucks an hour. She might get one for 10 if she looks around hard enough.

She has a 300 buck car payment but this is over in about 3 or 4 months. The car is in good condition and serves her well, it is not a gas hog, either, if this was long-term I would tell her to sell it, but because it's almost over, I don't want to suggest it.

Her apartment is not extravagant and costs 650 monthly. It is on par with others in her area, I don't know if she can do better unless she were to take on a roommate, but with two teenage daughters, I don't know if she can.

She has a cheap 10-buck internet service, a minimum cell-phone bill, which never has any overtime charges, and her electric usage and water usage is not unreasonable, either. There's nothing more I can really cut....she doesn't go out to eat more than about 1 time per month, either, she cooks at home.

Any suggestions, anyone? Is there any kind of help? Rent control?



Miss Giggles -> RE: Ok ex-Crownies.... I am out of ideas (6/12/2008 6:41:33 PM)

She'll be alright once her car payment is done with, it does seem her income is low but there isn't anything else for her to cut. Also help her try to get her child support.

You could look up rent controlled housing, but she may end up having to move once she starts making money as a nurse. Usually there is a waiting list for them.

can she work a restaurant or store on the weekends? that would help



Harvie -> RE: Ok ex-Crownies.... I am out of ideas (6/12/2008 9:44:11 PM)

I would have her determine what government assistance is available for her .... assistance with rent, welfare/general assistance, AFDC, food stamps, etc.

Since she is interested in nursing, she may find that working as a nursing assistant or cna may pay better than what she is doing now, and with various round-the-clock shifts available at nursing homes, etc. Or even as a caregiver at one. She may also check around and see if she can work for her apt complex (collecting rent, etc.) in exchange for reduced rent.

Can the teenagers work/help out? At least with babysitting?

I assume she is pursuing child support through her local district attorney's office against the girls' father?



OneOfHisJewels -> RE: Ok ex-Crownies.... I am out of ideas (6/12/2008 9:49:26 PM)

What are ex crownies?



creationtalk -> RE: Ok ex-Crownies.... I am out of ideas (6/12/2008 10:51:20 PM)

Agree w/Harvie that something in the nursing field where she can get some practical experience while working toward the nursing degree might be an option. She might also be able to get a position as a "sitter" for Alzheimer's patients through a home health association.

Is there a church in the area that might be able to take the family on as a ministry project and give them some help? Possibly one with a food pantry?

How long does she have until she gets her nursing degree? Would switching to a medical assistant degree get her to a work-ready point sooner then she could finish the more advanced degree later?

What about increasing the number of homes she cleans or adding some commercial accounts? I don't know what the demand is in her area, but here it is hard to find someone to clean. Another thing to consider is taking on smaller homes which may bring in less per visit but add significantly to her income (depending on the area, she may be able to charge slightly more per hour for less time)



peace77 -> RE: Ok ex-Crownies.... I am out of ideas (6/12/2008 11:32:18 PM)

Since rent is the biggest part of her expenses, I would suggest that she start by getting on the list for subsidized housing. Here is the link to that part of HUD's Renting Info.
Public housing is also a possibility but the lists are either years long or closed.

Next, visit the Dept. of Children and Family Services (the name may be different where she lives). Sign up for Food Stamps, TANF (temporary assistance for needy families), energy assistance and medical assistance.
She will need to have birth certificates and social security cards for each member of the family. She will also proof of her income, a copy of her lease and copies of recent utility bills.

If she is getting $100 for 5 hours of work, that is $20/hr. She won't make that working as a nursing assistant. I would suggest that she increase the number of homes that she is cleaning and have the teenage daughters to help her out. If they are not out of school already, they will be soon.

If the oldest teenager is old enough to hold a job then perhaps she can hold a full-time job during the summer, while the younger one helps Mom with the cleaning business.

If she is not able to increase the cleaning business, then working for a hospital or through a nursing registry is a good way to gain practical experience and get paid for it. Many hospitals have programs to help nursing students with tuition/book fees if they agree to work for the hospital after graduation. No license is needed to work as a patient transporter in the hospital. Nursing registries have sitter and homemaker positions that she could do.

Using local food banks will help stretch her food budget. She should ask local churches if they can help her out with rent or utilities until she can get enough income to get on her feet. The churches may be willing to post her ad for her cleaning service on the bulletin board or make referrals to her.

She should consider what she had that isn't used or is unwanted/outgrown that could be sold. The girls' outgrown clothing could be sold at a consignment store. Used sporting equipment, musical instruments, music CD's or books can also be sold. Perhaps, she could join with a friend who is having a yard sale. Or perhaps a friend who has a home in a good location would allow her to use her garage/yard for a sale.

For OneofHisJewels: A Crownie is someone who came here after the forum that Crown Financial Ministries had was closed.

Peace,
Anne



APZR -> RE: Ok ex-Crownies.... I am out of ideas (6/13/2008 12:21:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels

What are ex crownies?


About 4+- years ago, many on this forum participated on a forum under Crown Financial's web site... a Christian based money management miniseries. One day the forum up and disappeared... no thank you good buy, no notice, nuttin'! So there are a few "excownies" here. [;)]

To answer the OP, the only answer I see is to increase the income. The outgo can't be decreased any further, she's already living pretty darn cheap. Her options are to move to a better paying area, or move in with relatives.
We are going through a similar problem in my family. BIL lost his biz, and needs to find something else to do. I've offered several options, including living in our house to make us break even as we are building new (we have been living REALLY cheap over the past few years). But they don't want to leave their dying hometown... 120 miles south. So I'll pray, wait, and keep the door open for when they hit rock bottom.

Unlike one suggestion, I wouldn't look to the Gobment. They are more cash strapped than any of us. The Gobment gets their money by taxing US!! When they spend, they spend OUR pay check!!! I don't know about your area, but they are tying to INCREASE taxes here because "the revenue" is down... IE: they are not collecting as much of OUR money, so they need to collect more! [:@]



P31W -> RE: Ok ex-Crownies.... I am out of ideas (6/13/2008 7:19:35 AM)

I don't know if anyone has mentioned this or not but our colleges here offer great services for "displaced homemakers". (reduced tuition, books, help with jobs, free legal advise and mental health counseling, help with daycare expenses, etc)

You may what to have her talk her counselor to see if they offer this type of a program.

Is a boarder out of the question? Maybe another displaced homemaker who like her is struggling to get on their feet?



tfkeel -> RE: Ok ex-Crownies.... I am out of ideas (6/13/2008 11:51:38 AM)

Thanks all, these are some things I didn't think of....

A boarder would be a good idea, if her apartment complex allows that.

She is pursuing the child support through the court system, I think the problem is an out-of-work dad upon which no garnishee is possible at the moment.....

I did suggest that she try to get work at a hospital so she would gain experience.

She is, despite all I can do to encourage and help her, falling into depression and lethargy. Some of her cleaning clients are unreliable, they cancel her, etc. it is hard for her to maintain a schedule. I am going to suggest she takes the "piano teacher" method of charging for a month of services in advance....

she does have another part-time job in which she sets up cosmetic displays in stores and gathers retail sales data and reports to a national company - this also tends to be a bit unreliable, she will have periods of many hours work followed by periods of complete dormancy.

I am telling her to get a steady job, even though she can make higher rates at the temporary ones.....because I think she needs the discipline of it to avoid the depression which is coming on....



GroupW -> RE: Ok ex-Crownies.... I am out of ideas (6/13/2008 12:18:16 PM)

I like Crown generally, but there is a bias that I see toward "no debt, no matter what" that I think isn't always productive. Generally that's not bad advice but there are circumstances, particularly surrounding school loans, where some debt is not bad - particularly when it generates income down the road that's sufficient to pay off the debt and provide a return on your investment. Businesses do this all the time - we borrow money today to create a means to earn money down the road. This is more like investing than borrowing.

Some degree of school loans may be of benefit. Borrowing to get an English or Art degree isn't always the best use of debt, but healthcare is one of those fields where a little bit of education can generate a nice level of income.

When you're a single mom, sometimes the fastest path to a decent level of income is the most prudent - even if it means a modest level of school debt.

Just a thought.

BT



Ps103 -> RE: Ok ex-Crownies.... I am out of ideas (6/13/2008 12:33:00 PM)

quote:

I am telling her to get a steady job, even though she can make higher rates at the temporary ones.....because I think she needs the discipline of it to avoid the depression which is coming on....


That is true, Thomas. The more free time she has, the more time she has to dwell on problems and feed the depression.

Brian--Crown doesn't say "no debt no matter what." They strongly encourage people to work toward becoming debt free, but they recognize that some debt is useful--like school/training debt that will increase your ability to make a living.

"Bad" debt is debt for things that decline in value, and unsecured debt that is not paid off at the end of every month. Or buying a house that takes more of your income than you can afford to pay.

Those are debts that enslave people.



Miss Giggles -> RE: Ok ex-Crownies.... I am out of ideas (6/13/2008 12:46:39 PM)

I agree on the not going to extremes with no debt, she will be well off once she starts her nursing job.. she just needs some temporary help until then.



APZR -> RE: Ok ex-Crownies.... I am out of ideas (6/13/2008 12:56:53 PM)

quote:

Some of her cleaning clients are unreliable, they cancel her, etc. it is hard for her to maintain a schedule. I am going to suggest she takes the "piano teacher" method of charging for a month of services in advance....


Thomas, I agree with you. She needs to put her foot down and run her business like a business. My cleaning lady bill you for the service if you cancel at the last minuet... she requires a weeks notice to cancel a cleaning, because she relies on that $$$. If you allow cancellations at the drop of the hat, people will walk all over you and take advantage!



Row1 -> RE: Ok ex-Crownies.... I am out of ideas (6/13/2008 1:25:35 PM)

1. she is in a very difficult circumstance, and so are the kids. in my opinion, and everyone is free to disagree with me, it is foolish to stick to the advanced education at this time. I would suspend school and help my family.

if she quits now, there are a few details to ask about and plan. like: some courses may not count if/when she re-enrolls because there is usually a limited timespan from start to finish; if she restarts, she may restart under new rules, requiring her to take a couple more courses to meet the new rules; she may need to re-apply, and risk non-acceptance the 2nd time. all of these are just details, and all can be 'petitioned' waived if a dean wants to help. so, in the end, the cost of suspending her pursuit of nurse degree is maybe a couple more courses would have to be taken due to these technical type rules.

2. she makes great money! but the business part of her business is not being run like a business. she needs mentoring and guidance on this. i agree that she should not tolerate cancellations. she maybe could institute: 1. nonrefundable deposit, like $25, to set appt. 2. cancel within 24 hours or pay full rate. Along with that, develop a system to keep discovering NEW clients and DROP the worthless clients. The worthless clients are messing up her ability to provide for her children. why do they do this? because they can. mentors can help her figure out where her business has come from, and help her either do this more, or do something else to continually be discovering new clients. Clients can place deposits by paypal that appear immediately! No checks, no need for being able to accept charge card, etc. Just a checking acct to transfer the paypal money to.

3. the teenager can help her out on the job, cutting down time to complete each home, plus teaching the teen valuable lessons.

I would drop my pursuit of a degree in order to take care of my kids, if this were me.

Wait! This is me.

I have a great deal of financial, parenting, and emotional burden because, as a step-father, the 'father' is providing nothing, and has been deadbeat for most of my 3yr stepfatherhood.

There is a lot I could do with that time, money, and energy if my stpdaughter had a father who would fulfill his fatherly obligations. I could be at night school, starting a 2nd business, etc. But he doesn't and so I don't do these things. I am thrilled to have this parenting task, because I think that is part of my mission on earth. I am proud that God thinks this much of me to give me this task. Family first.

I would put the kids as priority. There is no drastic finacial benefit to be gained from getting nurse degree! If this friend can make decent money cleaning homes, she should go for it. And get back to school in the future when this enormous life transition is settled. The kids need her.



Miss Giggles -> RE: Ok ex-Crownies.... I am out of ideas (6/13/2008 1:44:10 PM)

I disagree on that, there is no other job out there right now that will pay that high and have the flexible schedules that nurses have.. . starting salaries are high and with experience you can make a lot.

She could eventually work part time and make as much as other jobs full time.

it would be nice if all women could stay at home with the kids, but some of them have to work. She'll be a lot better off working part time/full time in health care than cleaning houses for the rest of her life. I think you missed the part where she is not receiving spousal or child support.



tfkeel -> RE: Ok ex-Crownies.... I am out of ideas (6/13/2008 2:49:29 PM)

I am sure not going to suggest that she quit her school. She is a lovely young woman of 38 who God has gifted with a nurse's heart..... there is much more than money on the line here.... she will carry God's healing and His mercy and comfort to countless people who become her patients.

Her daughters are 16 and 19.... and should be helping a lot more here, I agree.



BJinWA -> RE: Ok ex-Crownies.... I am out of ideas (6/13/2008 3:19:01 PM)

i agree that the kids should be able to help. my youngest got a job at a coffee shop, the drive thru kind, when she was 16. she made minimum wage but scored BIG TIME on the tips......i don't know how much for sure, but she always worked holidays and got the sympathy tips. one thanksgiving morning she made over $200 in tips for 5 hours work.

she currently has a full time job teaching and STILL works at jobs that tip (she's 23). She's at the same coffee shop 2 sunday mornings 6 - 9. and waitresses banquets. she says she can't beat the $$$$$.

just an idea.

bless you for helping them..



delete123 -> RE: Ok ex-Crownies.... I am out of ideas (6/13/2008 9:14:05 PM)

Heya Thom~
She should apply for assitance. They have several that may be able to help her financially, so she can continue her degree. They have several programs in Pa. that she can apply for on-line. I know here where I live they will give you the assistance yo need, but however any work the dead beat spouse gets will automatically be garnished by the IRS, also they prevent them from renewing their driver's license.

Also she should check out the VNA's in her area, many of them use HHA (Home health aides) and it accommodates a person's schedule. It is like a cna on wheels. (They go to a person's home)

During this trial she can also budget cheaper meals that will cut some cost. If you need some recipes, just let me know.

I do not agree with those who believe she should discontinue her education. Nursing is a great field and high in demand, but is there any way she can transfer? In SC they have a nursing degree program that she can do on line. She just needs to be there for orientation and graduation, but everything is done on-line. Just a thought anyways.

Does her 19 y/o work? Does she attend college? The 16 y/o should help during her summer break and on week ends.

Ok just a thought,

CRH



2jsmom -> RE: Ok ex-Crownies.... I am out of ideas (6/14/2008 9:55:30 AM)

Has she looked into any programs offered by area hospitals to pay for her nursing degree? Nurses are in high demand and some hospitals offer tuition reimbursement. Programs vary with hospitals. Some will loan you the money and cancel a certain amount of debt for every hour you work for them once you get your degree. Our hospital will pay for classes for employees. We've had people start out in housekeeping just for the tuition benefits and work their way up to getting their degrees.



peace77 -> RE: Ok ex-Crownies.... I am out of ideas (6/14/2008 10:56:17 AM)

She should continue her nursing education but not online.
It's just not possible to learn a hands-on job entirely online.

Personally, I wouldn't want to have my blood pressure taken or my blood drawn by someone who had never done it on a living person before.

The 19 year old should have a full-time job, pay all of her own expenses and contribute for the cost of her room & board.

If both mother and adult daughter are working full time and they all work together on the cleaning business, they can make it.


Peace,
Anne



trainfan -> RE: Ok ex-Crownies.... I am out of ideas (6/14/2008 12:07:16 PM)

quote:

What about increasing the number of homes she cleans or adding some commercial accounts? I don't know what the demand is in her area, but here it is hard to find someone to clean. Another thing to consider is taking on smaller homes which may bring in less per visit but add significantly to her income (depending on the area, she may be able to charge slightly more per hour for less time)


I'll ditto this and others who have suggested pursuing the cleaning business. At this point I think that is her best option. Another suggestion in that area is to ask current clients for referals. She could also pursue smaller commercial accounts.

quote:

2. she makes great money! but the business part of her business is not being run like a business. she needs mentoring and guidance on this. i agree that she should not tolerate cancellations. she maybe could institute: 1. nonrefundable deposit, like $25, to set appt. 2. cancel within 24 hours or pay full rate. Along with that, develop a system to keep discovering NEW clients and DROP the worthless clients. The worthless clients are messing up her ability to provide for her children. why do they do this? because they can. mentors can help her figure out where her business has come from, and help her either do this more, or do something else to continually be discovering new clients. Clients can place deposits by paypal that appear immediately! No checks, no need for being able to accept charge card, etc. Just a checking acct to transfer the paypal money to.


Good point on needing a mentor I would suggest SCORE. HERE is a link to their website. As to using Paypal I would use it as an alternate form of payment but not the primary form. I would also skip the taking credit cards for a cleaning business there is no sense in paying those fees if you don't have to.

quote:

I disagree on that, there is no other job out there right now that will pay that high and have the flexible schedules that nurses have.. . starting salaries are high and with experience you can make a lot.


I disagree with this somewhat. Depending what type of nursing you are going into the schedules may be anything but flexible. I know 4 RN's, 2 no longer are in nursing b/c they couldn't get off 2nd or 3rd shift, 1 was trying to get in to a doctors office to work to get off 2nd shift and the other was still stuck on 2nd shift with 25 years of senority.



delete123 -> RE: Ok ex-Crownies.... I am out of ideas (6/14/2008 8:18:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: peace77

She should continue her nursing education but not online.
It's just not possible to learn a hands-on job entirely online.

Personally, I wouldn't want to have my blood pressure taken or my blood drawn by someone who had never done it on a living person before.

The 19 year old should have a full-time job, pay all of her own expenses and contribute for the cost of her room & board.

If both mother and adult daughter are working full time and they all work together on the cleaning business, they can make it.


Peace,
Anne


Anne~
The class work is done on line, not the clinical. She would have to do the clinical at a hospital, but in her town.

Otherwise I would not have suggested it. It is virtually impossible to train this portion on line.

CRH



Row1 -> RE: Ok ex-Crownies.... I am out of ideas (6/16/2008 9:18:54 AM)

Along with all of this, the 'depressed' part could benefit from your help.

Why is she depressed? We can't tell from all of this, but it could be one or more of many things.

She could be depressed because her life plans have been rudely pulled out from under her: all of a sudden she has no idea how to stay on track for any sort of future plans.

She could be depressed because she had her trust violated by her husband.

She could be depressed because she entered a sacred covenant by getting married, but now it seems like God has let her down.

She could be depressed because she now feels foolish for marrying a terrible person, and she should have seen this earlier.

She could be depressed because she is seeing herself as very undesirable and worthless to her husband, and maybe men in general, with the evidence of the husband leaving her as proof of this low self-esteem.

She could be depressed because she is exhausted: rasing children, coping with marriage breakup, working as much as possible, plus school on top of that, and money problems. Any of us would get depressed.

These are only a few reasons why she could be depressed. For some of these reasons, it might help for her to keep having success in school, plus feel like she is actually doing something to get her life moving in the right direction.

For other reasons, like being exhausted and so being unable to keep up with things like running a business, she might need to put school on hold for at least a semester or year, until things straighten out with marriage, money, and mood.

SO: how could you help? If you can figure out specifically why she has gotten depressed, you could help her address that.

If you are able to help her out financially at all, paying off that $1000 car note would be a big help.

I have prayed for y'all!



tfkeel -> RE: Ok ex-Crownies.... I am out of ideas (6/19/2008 8:33:53 PM)

Thanks again for all the good words from you folks....

I am trying now to figure out how to get her money from her divorce settlement paid. There has already been a judgement in the divorce decree that her XH owes her a pretty sizeable amount of money, several thousand dollars. This would really clean her up pretty nice and set her on a good
platform - it would easily pay off her car and leave her several grand besides which she could use
for tuition, etc.

There are some lawyers who will set up collection proceedings for a percentage of the collection.... it is pretty salty, they want 1/3 to 1/2 the money .... it seems like she should be able to simply call the court or somebody and say, hey? What gives here? He is in contempt of court? But I (thanks to the matchless grace of God) never had a divorce so I don't know anything about this stuff, I can't help her.

I sent her one website for a SC online nursing school - she is now going to a community college and is just in the beginning stages, taking the basic stuff, anatomy, etc.



eric731 -> RE: Ok ex-Crownies.... I am out of ideas (6/20/2008 8:08:16 AM)

I would suggest for her to create a blog. I am learning this is a great tool to express your feelings, desires, frustrations, and successes about your finances.
If at a minimium, getting it off her chest might help her depression. Then once she starts blogging a little bit, she will find others that blog about their struggles with debt and will comment and encourage her on her blog. The other thing that could happen is make an extra $25 a month from advertising. I know it is not a lot, but if she could make a small amount just from telling her story and linking with other women online that are struggling, it could help.
Oh and you don't need high speed internet to blog.

-The point is, I agree, if she has "extra" time, use it to bring more money into the equation.

God Bless!

-Eric



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