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RE: need some advice - 7/1/2008 11:34:20 AM
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slushie
Posts: 2307
Joined: 4/30/2006
Status: offline
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Maybe you could talk to them and discuss it?
_____________________________
Testify to Love
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RE: need some advice - 7/2/2008 10:54:12 AM
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lhull
Posts: 15
Joined: 3/15/2007
Status: offline
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Hello!
Did you have a job description?
When interviewing with others and adding this experience to your resume, note the things you did with the youth.
Since you didn't have a contract, you aren't in violation of any agreement. You aren't negligent in fulfilling your commitment.
If you are asked why you left, I would simply say that the Pastor revealed after you arrived that he was content with the status quo and did not desire to grow the youth ministry. Then you have an opportunity to share your vision for youth ministry.
You've gained some valuable experience that can help you in choosing your next opportunity. Pray for discernment and wisdom to know what to ask in the next interview that will reveal truth so you can make an informed decision about whether an offer is from the Lord or not. That is not to say that you misunderstood here, your situation could be a catalyst for future events.
Best wishes for your next position. In the meantime, do whatever your hands find to do in service to the Lord.
_____________________________
Words of Encouragement
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RE: need some advice - 7/3/2008 9:51:26 AM
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youthrev
Posts: 93
Joined: 9/18/2007
Status: offline
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In a way I wish I had read this post earlier, but in a way I'm glad I didn't. I honestly don't know what I would have told you.
My initial question is, "What made you decide to leave?" I'm not talking about emotions, disappointment, stress, advice, or any of that stuff. I'm talking about call. Did God CALL you away or did you just give up or feel pushed out by the pastor? Hard as it is to understand, especially being young in ministry, there is a definite difference.
I say this because the last church I served at as youth pastor (I'm a career youth pastor pushing 20 years) was pretty rough. 20 years of bitterness and strife, no satisfaction with any pastor, every pastor being a scapegoat, unwillingness to change, an angry interim pastor, financial ruin, mass exoduses of members, and the list goes on. When I was called to the church I was told that they thought the worst was behind them and they were ready to pick up and move forward.
Well, they weren't. Within less than a year, the pastor left, the music minister went through a serious bout of depression, then left six months later after his recovery to a new ministry where he is thriving, we had an interim pastor who was greedy and stormed out angry after berating the church. I was the only staff at the church for almost a year and it was a wonderful and terrible time. Wonderful because God really moved in the hearts of some of the people, including my wife who was saved at that time. She was my first baptism. Also wonderful because my relationships with many of the people were strengthened as they viewed me as their shepherd and I had to step up to the plate and minister to so many that I never really would have been able to otherwise. I learned so much. But also terrible because of how tense the church was.
Eventually the church called another pastor and things seemed good, but he was misguided in some of his thinking and he was/is career oriented, wanting to teach at a Bible college or seminary, so his studies are his focus. He knows his Bible, but is not much of a shepherd. So the church is still hurting and they have no one to lead them and care for them.
How long was I there? Eight years. EIGHT YEARS!! Because God wouldn't call me away. But I learned so much and he was preparing me for where I am now. He has called us 600 miles away to be at another church with a humble staff and wonderful church members who want so much to reach the lost and they invest to do it. They expect the same of me, and they expect me to stretch to do it. What a terrible blessing! Hard work for which I may not see the results for years? Ah, youth ministry. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Don't ignore God's call. Embrace your winepress. In a way I'm sorry to hear you are leaving, but in a way I fully understand. If God had let me leave when I wanted to, I don't know where I would be today, but it's not where I am. God has perfectly suited you to be where He called you. Ask God, "What now?" and do whatever He commands. Don't give up. If you need to, take a couple days silent retreat to be alone with God (and your wife if you need to). Go camping for a weekend and just seek God. Allow him to heal you. Be broken before Him and just read and meditate on the Scriptures.
God bless you as you follow the Great Shepherd.
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RE: need some advice - 7/4/2008 11:59:07 AM
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Sadey
Posts: 531
Joined: 7/25/2007
Status: offline
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would suggest that you really examine the next church that calls you. Ask lots of questions and make sure you know how the church is organized and who leads and who doesn't. Its a little like a marriage when a pastor moves to a new church, except a bride and groom know each other better than a church and a pastor. Its hard to know after only one or two visits. I'm so sorry you and your wife are going through this, but it sounds like God has protected you from this pastor, he sounds very unbalanced and vindictive. Better to go than to be drug down with him.
Pray for him and don't say one word against him. God is your defender and avenger, you are safe in his arms.
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RE: need some advice - 7/5/2008 3:54:53 PM
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SteelCurtain
Posts: 147
Joined: 3/20/2007
From: Virginia
Status: offline
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Piltor,
I have not read all of the post on this board except for yours so excuse me if this has been answered.
A lot of us get into ministry positions only to find out we either did not do enough research or we simply were not told everything we needed to know. Please take that as friendly advice from someone who has been there before.
Your pastor has lost his vision, desire, zeal, etc...but I don't believe that he has lost his first love. I believe that he is just like every other pastor in the world who is frustrated with at least one thing in their churches. He sounds tired, beat up, and just plain shot.
First, pray with and for him. Support him. Some of the things that he has said sounds like he is trying to "save" you from some of what he went through. I worked with a pastor who also could not get any changes done in the church. Eventually, the church voted him out but before he was voted out I saw the handwriting on the wall and left a month earlier.
Second, you did the right thing in attempting to help him out but don't push it. Taking someone else's vision and trying to work on it will not sit well with him.
Third, decision time for you and your family. Either stay and support him or pack up now and leave. There is nothing wrong with leaving if you know for sure it is not the right place. He might have some choice words but that is on him. Keep your head up, keep your mouth shut, do your "job" and let God lead you out of there IF indeed that is what He is doing.
Hope this helps
_____________________________
Pray simply, wait sometimes, stick to the path.
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RE: need some advice - 7/5/2008 11:35:16 PM
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funny_girl
Posts: 832
Status: offline
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piltor,
We had a situation once, when my husband felt very discontented. Please let me share and glean whatever you can and throw out anything that doesn't apply or isn't helpful.
We were between positions and I happened to call this church and talked directly with the pastor on a Saturday. The following week we met with the pastor and because he and I hit it off, he hired my husband. Long story short this pastor had been very successful and when the season began to change, rather than moving on, he tried to control by manipulation and not the leading of the Holy Spirit.
During our year there we saw great success in our youth ministry. We quickly grew from 35 to 75+ and I quit counting as I was satisfied with the numbers attending. I guess things got really competitive with this pastor. He was used to 'bringing' up people and making himself look good. My husband had a lot of pride issues to deal with and is a maverick for the Lord. So this combination wasn't a good one. During a staff meeting the pastor even told the staff that if you ever crossed him, you'd see your head running down the center isle. In other words, this pastor also had pride issues to deal with. Sometimes my husband would dream of being a senior pastor and voiced his desire to the pastor. This pastor was a presbyter and said he'd keep his eye out for something. Off and on, the desire would flare up and subside for my husband. He was only 23 years old at the time.
One year later, my husband was sitting in the pastor's office being told that they just didn't gel as a team. He told my husband he'd get a severance package if he didn't speak to anyone about this and asked him not to show up on Sunday. My husband was terribly disappointed as we had just had the best youth service and wasn't thinking of leaving. When my husband arrived home he called the pastor asking if he could please come and say good bye as it would be easier on everyone if he did and wisely thought through, so the pastor consented. Here's the twist. It would have been better for my husband to have gone and read his resignation letter, but instead, he changed his mind on Sunday morning. He left a message for the pastor to do things the way he wanted to and this is what we later found out happened. The pastor went to the pulpit and said he didn't know where my husband was, that he was expecting him and then read his letter of resignation. Believe me, it was horrible. You see, we'd been youth pastor's to some of these kids in 2 churches that were hundreds of miles apart. Meaning, the first youth pastorate we had, had moved to the same city we were and we'd been friends for a very long time and the one's who were closest to us told us what happened. It was painful. IT was handled all wrong, but you know what? The Bible says to touch not my anointed. We opted to not speak out on our defense and later the truth came out and God vindicated us. This same pastor later went a little nuts and asked for the resignation of the entire board. The girl signing for the service was one of our youth and she ran out of the service as her father was asked to resign. It was a terrible situation and finally the district stepped in an this pastor was removed. Later we were invited back to the church to minister and given liberty to bring healing to a difficult departure.
I just want to encourage you that in my short 20 years of experience, to keep doing what God has called you to do. Do what is right and let Him defend you. If you are able to call a district official and see if they'd send someone to encourage and minister to your pastor that would be a kind thing to do. There's 2 books I can recommend to you. One is A Tale of Three Kings and the other is Total Forgiveness. They will be very helpful to you during this time and I believe they'll help bring understanding.
Next job, you just tell them it didn't work out like you thought, no big deal. There's nothing wrong with making a mistake. You're going to find a place that works for you. Trust the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. I pray for wisdom and insight and God's best for you!
_____________________________
"...bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as imposters; known yet regarded as unknown...poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything." II Corinthians 6:8-10
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RE: need some advice - 7/15/2008 3:15:28 PM
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hjemerson
Posts: 201
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline
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Well Been in your shoes .It is sad you were not able to tell the youth good bye no matter what people said it hurt them they feel lost,mistrust. But again that this as a lesson now showed you have to veiw the ministry as a job like the world does sad! Have question ready for the next interview Have a contact, be honset with it just did not work out. you also need to check in to the place that calls you(We lerned the Hard way also! WHy id this poation open? what is you visson? What type of time line do youthe/churhch want for A youth pastoer, All this will come as the alord will heal you and Please keep in touch as the Blessing will be coming!Even Jesus made plan as in plans for the last supper. Heal and repart for the next steps these have been a hard few months for you,
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