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RE: Do you make your kids eat what they take? - 6/19/2008 6:58:15 PM
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bzirk
Posts: 3065
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Where the deer and antelope play
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Diane,
You are preachin' to the choir about parents who let their kids act so rudely at dinners. I have seen this over and over again, and there have been occasions when I was hosting the meal that I've put the quietus on that behavior. I cannot stand that kind of thing and it's way too prevalent.
BTW, I realize that kids sometimes do these things and they just haven't learned yet to conduct themselves appropriately, i.e., it's part of being a kid. That doesn't bother me. It's when the parents let this happen over and over again and are oblivious to it or encourage it that I can't abide. Where I come from that behavior is referred to as uncouth. Kind of reminds me of the scene in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers where the wife worked so hard to clean everything and prepare a meal and the brothers fell on each other like pigs to get to the food. If memory serves she ran out of the room and got her Bible and read Matthew 7 where it talks about casting pearls. 
< Message edited by bzirk -- 6/19/2008 7:43:34 PM >
_____________________________
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1)
Great quote: I just ain't God and don't know it all. -- SonInMe1
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RE: Do you make your kids eat what they take? - 6/20/2008 9:21:54 AM
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jennleigh
Posts: 91
Joined: 12/6/2007
From: Fuquay-Varina, NC
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Due to similar pressures with food as a child (i.e., clean your plate; if you make a mistake and get too much you better eat it all, being forced to eat things I didn't like, etc.) I ended up with a very dysfunctional relationship with food. I also had alot of trouble telling if I was full, hungry, or even what constituted a healthy "fullness" when eating. I would never do that to my children. It has taken years and a lot of prayer and counseling to overcome those issues. I can tell you from my own experience that if you make someone feel bad over food, it can stick with them.
One of my children has some serious food issues. He will basically not eat much of anything. In my earlier years as a parent, I tried to force him to eat some of each thing I made, figuring I would "cure" him of his picky eating habits. After watching him gag and throw up his dinner one night after forcing him to sit at the table until he had "tried" each food, I abandoned that method. I don't discount whatever methods work for your household, but I do not wish to encourage food issues in my own household, and am not interested in making dinnertime a battlezone. I refuse to make him a different meal, but I always include something I know he will eat (bread, green beans, etc.), as well as letting him help with food preparation so that he is included in the family meal. He is a healthy, vibrant boy so I guess this is just what has worked at our home.
I have found that when the focus is on good manners (just like previous posters have stated) such as not rushing to the front of a potluck line and not wasting food just because you can at a buffet, then my children's hunger/fullness ratio evens itself out.
We try to focus on teaching our children good portion control and on eating until you are full but not stuffed, not just because we don't want them to waste food, but also because our world is becoming increasingly gluttonous and if we don't show our kids what a healthy meal looks like, they might just grow up to think that McDonald's and restaurant meals are the norm. I am trying to teach my children that maintaining a healthy weight is a lot easier than trying to lose extra weight down the road. Adopting healthy eating habits is easier than re-learning then later on, etc.
As far as potlucks and buffets go, our children stay with their father or with me, even though my oldest three (my youngest is a newborn) are 10, 11, and 15. I grew up as a preacher's daughter and have seen every kind of rude behavior you can imagine at these events, usually by unsupervised kids. We allow our children to get their own food at this point, but we still supervise and so far, that has worked out. (After all, they are still kids and I like to make sure they aren't sticking their fingers in the food LOL!)
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God Bless,
Jennifer
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RE: Do you make your kids eat what they take? - 6/20/2008 10:59:26 AM
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bzirk
Posts: 3065
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Where the deer and antelope play
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Teaching a child portion control and to stop eating when they're full is wonderful. It should be done. I guess I don't see anything wrong with teaching a kid not to waste food as well. If someone teaches it in a ham-fisted way without applying wisdom, then perhaps a child can get the wrong idea and wind up with a messed up view of food. But hopefully parents are using some wisdom in their teaching.
As to this:
"if you make a mistake and get too much you better eat it all"
Making an honest mistake in getting too much to eat is one thing. Willfully getting too much to eat after being warned more than once is another. When I've made my kids finish their food no matter how many meals it took , it was after willful disobedience. BTW, I've only had one child who did this. This is the child who tends to be stubborn about a lot of things.
_____________________________
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1)
Great quote: I just ain't God and don't know it all. -- SonInMe1
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RE: Do you make your kids eat what they take? - 6/20/2008 11:06:07 AM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10274
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
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quote:
Teaching a child portion control and to stop eating when they're full is wonderful. It should be done. I guess I don't see anything wrong with teaching a kid not to waste food as well.
quote:
Making an honest mistake in getting too much to eat is one thing. Willfully getting too much to eat after being warned more than once is another.
I agree. I think you can train children about food in a way that doesn't mess up their permanent perspective about food. In fact, you can give them a positive experience with food BY consistent training.
_____________________________
I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples.
For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
~Psalm 57:9-10~
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RE: Do you make your kids eat what they take? - 6/20/2008 5:27:37 PM
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cindybode
Posts: 1572
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Northwest PA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: bzirk
quote:
ORIGINAL: cindybode
My youngest 2 boys are the ones most likely to be guilty of serving themselves too much, so right before getting food I will usually say something along the lines of, "There are a lot of people here who want to eat, so please watch how much you're taking. You can always go back if you're still hungry." I know that their eyes tend to be bigger than their stomachs, so most of the time I will go with them. I let them fix their own plate, but I will remind them to take small amounts. My kids tend to be grazers and won't usually eat a lot of food at one sitting, but they seem to foget that when they're in the food line. My husband and I also have a tendency to serve ourselves less than we really want so we can clean up their leftovers.
What would you do if they still served themselves too much after you told them not to?
I would fix their plate next time.
_____________________________
If you lock in any creature, from rats to chickens to pigs to people, 10 to 30 or more in a box and force feed them you'll create little monsters. Confinement Education School Operations (CESOs) just don't compare to naturally pastured free-ranged kids.
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RE: Do you make your kids eat what they take? - 6/20/2008 5:40:20 PM
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bzirk
Posts: 3065
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Where the deer and antelope play
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: cindybode
quote:
ORIGINAL: bzirk
quote:
ORIGINAL: cindybode
My youngest 2 boys are the ones most likely to be guilty of serving themselves too much, so right before getting food I will usually say something along the lines of, "There are a lot of people here who want to eat, so please watch how much you're taking. You can always go back if you're still hungry." I know that their eyes tend to be bigger than their stomachs, so most of the time I will go with them. I let them fix their own plate, but I will remind them to take small amounts. My kids tend to be grazers and won't usually eat a lot of food at one sitting, but they seem to foget that when they're in the food line. My husband and I also have a tendency to serve ourselves less than we really want so we can clean up their leftovers.
What would you do if they still served themselves too much after you told them not to?
I would fix their plate next time.
I guess it depends on the age. When mine were little I would have done that and did do it. But as they got older, they fixed their own and if they were willful about what is appropriate, then they had to finish that food no matter how long it took. As I said earlier I only had one child who did this.
< Message edited by bzirk -- 6/20/2008 5:47:05 PM >
_____________________________
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1)
Great quote: I just ain't God and don't know it all. -- SonInMe1
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RE: Do you make your kids eat what they take? - 6/20/2008 6:00:22 PM
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cindybode
Posts: 1572
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Northwest PA
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I might do that if I had a kid who would learn from it. I don't think it would be effective with either of my boys. I remember making one of my older kids be last in line to make sure everyone else got something. Only had to do that once.
_____________________________
If you lock in any creature, from rats to chickens to pigs to people, 10 to 30 or more in a box and force feed them you'll create little monsters. Confinement Education School Operations (CESOs) just don't compare to naturally pastured free-ranged kids.
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RE: Do you make your kids eat what they take? - 6/20/2008 6:05:35 PM
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bzirk
Posts: 3065
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Where the deer and antelope play
Status: offline
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It's funny how kids within the same family are different as well. My other three kids have not been as difficult as this one. She challenges everything. Oh my goodness. Thankfully, she's got a strong moral conviction.
_____________________________
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1)
Great quote: I just ain't God and don't know it all. -- SonInMe1
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