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[Poll]
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Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated?
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| It makes me very upset when people get upset at each other. |
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| People upset with each other I don't mind, but don't get mad at me. |
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| I don't get upset, but I don't enjoy it either. |
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| I think threads are interesting when they get heated up. |
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| I like to lurk in threads where things might get hot, just for kicks. |
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| I cause trouble on purpose when things get too dull. |
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| Other |
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Total Votes : 57
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(last vote on : 6/28/2008 5:12:49 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/18/2008 11:38:18 PM
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solo_soprano22
Posts: 2303
Joined: 4/27/2005
From: I'm a Southern girl
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There was a woman a while ago who I disagreed with about vaccines; she made it a point to follow me to a bunch of threads and I'm pretty sure it was just so she could disagree with me. I found it amusing, but I think she was just upset that I don't share her views. Not too many people shared her views, but I don't think she tried to do that to us all. :)
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RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 12:08:11 AM
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Mrs.Wifey
Posts: 4821
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
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I have been accused of "pot stirring" on my other forum, but that's mainly because you can't debate a liberal.
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RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 12:27:16 AM
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solo_soprano22
Posts: 2303
Joined: 4/27/2005
From: I'm a Southern girl
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DenimDiva
I don't think anyone pays enough attention to what I post to be concerned enough to follow me from thread to thread, so you should feel complimented. 
Lol. She was a newbie; she "took a break" after too many people disagreed with her.
Sometimes I can't help but wonder why people start some theads sometimes. I see threads that people should know are sensitive, not just among Christians, but people in general. I remember threads where the OP asked for opinions about something like this, then got bent out of shape when a differing opinion arose.  Then there go the caps, exclamation points, the "you think you know what's best for me," etc...
I guess if you ask, you should also only get answers you like. I'll always state my opinion if it's on-topic, but I try not to get angry that someone dares to disagree. Lol. Maybe it's just because I'm laid back... I just don't see the productivity that can come out of the way some threads get.
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RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 7:37:05 AM
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Sideways
Posts: 2725
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Mrs.Wifey
I have been accused of "pot stirring" on my other forum, but that's mainly because you can't debate a liberal.
Hah! I've often felt the same exact way about conservatives. But I'm more of a moderate, so I've seen it from both sides.
Really, no matter what side you're on, with whatever issue, both sides often consider the other to be completely unreasonable and illogical. At the end of the day, we're all raising our kids and trying to get through life the best way we know how.
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RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 8:14:52 AM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 5102
Joined: 4/4/2005
From: Jesus Land
Status: offline
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quote:
I do want to add, however, that one thing I've always enjoyed about the boards is our ability to be at each other's throats in one thread and then turn around and defend one another in a different thread. It's interesting to me and I've always appreciated the ability to learn it and take part in it.
You know, that's a good point. What a good, fuzzy feeling to start the day out with! Thanks for pointing that out! 
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RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 9:50:02 AM
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lexie
Posts: 3088
Joined: 6/27/2005
From: Toronto
Status: online
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The only thing that bothers me sometimes when threads get heated up is that a lot of time people don't know what background you are coming from. We've all had different experiences in life and that colours how we feel about the topic and what we post (or how we post it). And sometimes people want to jump on you rather than finding out why you feel the way you do.
There are some people who are unwilling to put aside their views, and their perceptions and try to see things from your angle. It doesn't mean they have to agree with you, but it's that old saying of walking a mile in one's shoes.
If you can do that and still disagree then I think it makes for good debate, but if you can't attempt to do that, I think things begin to get personal and things can take a wrong turn.
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RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 10:49:53 AM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10218
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
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quote:
I think all of those responses are appropriate in their own way except for the "I cause trouble."
Just so ya know...mods can see who voted what, and the one person who voted for that is one who is known to be mischievous, but not in a mean way at all.
People who come here to cause trouble don't usually last too long.
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RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 10:55:39 AM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 6076
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: CA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Sideways
Really, no matter what side you're on, with whatever issue, both sides often consider the other to be completely unreasonable and illogical. At the end of the day, we're all raising our kids and trying to get through life the best way we know how.
Are you saying that you don't like people who don't have children? They are somehow less worthy? I hate it when people get self-righteous and think they are better than others just because they have children!!
Just kidding!!...... I know what you're saying and agree with you!
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RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 11:08:46 AM
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fluffmonkey
Posts: 1758
Joined: 2/17/2007
From: some where over the rainbow
Status: offline
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quote:
It depends on the topic. I don't like the meaness, drama, and personal attacks. That is not Christlike. Good, civil debate can be productive and thought-provoking. I don't mind that.
Indeed, sometimes we need someone to help us see something...
quote:
I also enjoy a good debate, but on the other hand, I've had one poster on this forum level some of the most hurtful, ugly things at me that you can imagine. I almost left CW entirely because of that poster.
"swift to hear slow to speak, slow to wrath" Sometime we must think about were about to say then rather blurt it out and hurt someones feelings.
So, now I've learned to take a step back and pick my threads carefully. I don't get angry when people challenge my point of view, but when attacks get unnecessarily personal, that's my cue to get out.
quote:
The only thing that bothers me sometimes when threads get heated up is that a lot of time people don't know what background you are coming from. We've all had different experiences in life and that colours how we feel about the topic and what we post (or how we post it). And sometimes people want to jump on you rather than finding out why you feel the way you do.
There are some people who are unwilling to put aside their views, and their perceptions and try to see things from your angle. It doesn't mean they have to agree with you, but it's that old saying of walking a mile in one's shoes.
I agree.
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RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 11:52:03 AM
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Mrs.X
Posts: 2330
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: Newberg, OR
Status: online
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I voted, people can debate but don't be mean to me.
quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
quote:
ORIGINAL: nicole6598
I am hoping the person who picked "I stir trouble on purpose" is joking....
Actually it can be quite invigorating to go into a thread and express a rather controversial opinion, then step back and wait for the feeding frenzy to start!! I'm not afraid of being attacked, and I actually get quite a buzz out of getting people to think.
Or perhaps I am just warped, lol.
(it wasn't me who voted that, btw, I just posted this to be ornery!!)
When I first saw the results, I thought it was you who voted that, Manda. Hehehe.
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RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 1:20:57 PM
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Mrs.Wifey
Posts: 4821
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Sideways
quote:
ORIGINAL: Mrs.Wifey
I have been accused of "pot stirring" on my other forum, but that's mainly because you can't debate a liberal.
Hah! I've often felt the same exact way about conservatives. But I'm more of a moderate, so I've seen it from both sides.
Really, no matter what side you're on, with whatever issue, both sides often consider the other to be completely unreasonable and illogical. At the end of the day, we're all raising our kids and trying to get through life the best way we know how.
I am far right on some issues and moderate on others(mostly environmental stuff, sometimes abortion) so I have seen it both ways. Micah and I usually get into it since we tend to be opposite on alot of things. He is more moderate about immigration where I tend to be about as far right as you can get, lol.
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RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 2:15:23 PM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 5102
Joined: 4/4/2005
From: Jesus Land
Status: offline
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quote:
Just so ya know...mods can see who voted what, and the one person who voted for that is one who is known to be mischievous, but not in a mean way at all.
I, for one, am very glad to know that. 
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RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 2:28:07 PM
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TwinCityGirl
Posts: 1096
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
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Lisa -- good question!
I don't LOVE it when things get heated but I have seen people have heated discussions that actually helped someone in the end.
I don't HATE it when things get heated because we're not all the same person and we're not all going to agree 100% on things.
What I personally don't like is when this happens to me:
I post something to help someone.
The person I'm trying to help/encourage takes it wrong.
I'm trying to re-say it better so the person understands me.
A bunch of other women chime in and suddenly I am "the bad guy".
It is my opinion that if two people are disagreeing, and you're not willing to get in on that from the start, then let it go -- let it be between those folks so they can work it out. It is always much, much worse when suddenly 6 other people who haven't said a peep come into the conversation 30 minutes later and tell you what a horrible person you are.
And like Lexie said, when people don't know where you are coming from. Or how close you are to that person (so familiar you feel you can say it), or whether you're phone buddies, or whether you have "known" that person here for 7 years...
When I see an opinion I disagree with I try to:
A) Think about what I know about that person and where they might be coming from, and
B) Cut them some slack if they need it, and
C) Weigh whether my input can be helpful, or what is my actual purpose in posting it
I will also add that I would MUCH RATHER if someone is mad at me that they tell me in a thread rather than a PM. I got a really rough PM once and I thought that was interesting the person would say it privately to me but not in public. If you're going to be mad, at least make sure the mods can keep you in check.
I didn't vote in the poll, though, because I am just too lazy to read all the choices. For real, and the baby is a little wiggly now and wanting to go to sleep...
Good topic, Lisa!
Jeanie
< Message edited by TwinCityGirl -- 6/19/2008 2:35:31 PM >
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RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 2:29:09 PM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10218
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
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HA!
ETA...that was for Lisa, not Jeanie... 
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RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 2:37:34 PM
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Mrs.Wifey
Posts: 4821
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
Status: offline
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quote:
I will also add that I would MUCH RATHER if someone is mad at me that they tell me in a thread rather than a PM. I got a really rough PM once and I thought that was interesting the person would say it privately to me but not in public. If you're going to be mad, at least make sure the mods can keep you in check.
You can flag a PM, I've done it a couple times.
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RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 2:50:51 PM
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isaacsmom
Posts: 1887
Joined: 12/2/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: lexie
The only thing that bothers me sometimes when threads get heated up is that a lot of time people don't know what background you are coming from. We've all had different experiences in life and that colours how we feel about the topic and what we post (or how we post it). And sometimes people want to jump on you rather than finding out why you feel the way you do.
There are some people who are unwilling to put aside their views, and their perceptions and try to see things from your angle. It doesn't mean they have to agree with you, but it's that old saying of walking a mile in one's shoes.
If you can do that and still disagree then I think it makes for good debate, but if you can't attempt to do that, I think things begin to get personal and things can take a wrong turn.
I agree, Lexie, good points. Something that gets to me are the threads started by newbies who come here seeking Christian advice -- and some posters seem to get awfully self-righteous pretty quickly. I admit to having been the self-righteous one at times . . . . but something I've learned is that the real person behind the screen is obviously seeking the Lord in some way -- but we can't expect them to have the knowledge that more mature Christians have (especially if they are not a Christian to begin with!). So when we respond to them in a "Well, duh, don't you know that you should do or think or say such and such?" that is damaging. I've learned to be more compassionate and kind in my responses. Not watering anything down, just realizing that this person probably has no clue, but obviously they've experienced a nudge from the Holy Spirit, and need love and prayer. A lot of these newbies don't come back and I can't say I blame them. 
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