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RE: Why are you still single? - 9/25/2008 5:27:01 PM
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RubySparkles
Posts: 272
Joined: 4/18/2005
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
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I'm single because God does not want me to get married. Right now I feel like divinetxdiva.
_____________________________
Lord, all our success is because of what you have done, so give us peace.
Is 26:12
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RE: Why are you still single? - 10/1/2008 5:20:33 PM
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Tashilein
Posts: 147
Joined: 9/30/2008
Status: offline
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I'm single because I chose to be single until I meet someone who is single, honest and who doesn't mind taking things slow and getting to know each other. You know, no pressure. At the moment it feels like I'm only meeting men who are already involved yet don't mind another woman in their life or have only one thing on their mind or are disrepectful towards me and the promises I made to myself and to God. It kinda feels like I'm living the wrong country sometimes...
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RE: Why are you still single? - 10/5/2008 8:35:59 PM
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prolifepj
Posts: 459
Joined: 9/12/2008
From: just over yonder
Status: offline
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Still single because.. well, it works for me. Dunno, guess I'm just content to be single for the moment. There are days, but for the most part - content.
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Sho nuff honey chile - Smile, it makes people wonder what you're up to!
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RE: Why are you still single? - 10/6/2008 9:49:54 AM
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smasiero
Posts: 2
Joined: 10/6/2008
Status: offline
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Ditto RubySparkles: I am single because God doesn't want me to get married.
Otherwise, I would BE married. I am ex-gay and have been for almost 18 years. God has removed my attractions toward women... but I just can't seem to bond or trust or become emotionally involved with men.. I am tired of this causing so much disappointment in my life...
I stopped dating altogether quite some time ago because it was such an exercise in frustration.. guys become all attracted and involved and I feel like they are smothering me or pressuring me and I end up hurting them. Every time, I am like "PLEASE GOD let it work this time.. " and it never does... so, I am of the mind that IF God so desires to bring me a husband, I will know it and it won't be an effort to spend time with him and until that happens, I am to be content in all circumstances.. and I have chosen to do just that!
STACE
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RE: Why are you still single? - 10/7/2008 7:37:26 PM
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SamsonUSA
Posts: 362
Joined: 10/5/2008
Status: offline
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I've learned to be content and that where I'm at in life is exactly where God wants me to be at this moment. I have also stopped trying to figure things like this out with my own limited intelligence and vision. Am I single because if I were married with kids I would be raising my own kids and not glorifying God by serving in many different Childrens Ministries? If I would have been married would I have been able to take a year away from my career to move to Reno and work at a shelter for abused and neglected kids for very low pay? The answer to both questions is probably not. But using this line of reasoning might make sense but isn't conclusive evidence to why God has chosen that I remain single.
I oversee a chain of Fitness Centers and meet many single women daily that make it very apparent they are single and interested. In fact I would ask how many other professions aside from own are there where a single man could actually come in contact with more single women? My guess would be not too many. Another reason I find it quite obvious God has chosen for me to be single at this time. I also wonder if it is a time of testing in my life. I do hang out quite often with women I meet through the gym. Unfortunately very few of these ladies are believers which leads me to believe I should probably stop saying yes when asked out by an unbeliever and be content to be alone while surrendering to the will and prompting of the Holy Spirit's direction for my life.
_____________________________
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and earth!
Casting Crowns
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RE: Why are you still single? - 10/8/2008 7:04:45 PM
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bravjim
Posts: 394
Joined: 10/8/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Ironworker
Its about providence and principals isn't it? I had a very poor self image when younger,experience a lot of rejection at Gods allowance . God could've made things different like he did for countless others.So I developed social anxiety fears,no self confidence . To medicate my self I ate too much and smoked grass and used cocain. So now those were huge red flags.By the grace of almighty God those things are long gone. I've lost a great deal of weight many poeple say I'm young for my age and a late bloomer. I'm active in a large singles group that is 17 miles away. Burn too much gas to be going out there more then a few times a month. Tonight I'll be there for a "Tables for Six" monthly dinner social. I've heard 10,000 marriage horror stories. Women to me are very complex. Yet I have a huge desire to be married. Prayers needed as I pray for fellow singles.
I can definitely relate to you iron worker. I went through much of the same things as you, except I never really got too involved with cocaine. I had a hyperthyroid that caused me to be way too skinny, and it caused my eyes to bug out all the way through my 20s. I buried the pain through marijuana and alcohol until I got so depressed that I turned to God's word. Self esteem was a major issue, and still is, even though I try to remember who I have become in Christ. I am not the self assured person I need to be, probably because I'm still learning to walk the line. At least you've found a singles group. My church doesn't even have that.
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I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfilll the lust of the flesh.
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RE: Why are you still single? - 10/8/2008 8:35:41 PM
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vikingfan
Posts: 74
Joined: 1/24/2008
Status: offline
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because God has not showng me that I should be dating a particular girl. There is a girl I like, but God is showing me just to be patient and wait for His timing...and she may not even be the right one.
I would rather have the right girl in God's timing rather than rush ahead of Him.
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RE: Why are you still single? - 10/8/2008 8:44:27 PM
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Grace-N-Mercy
Posts: 6383
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: smasiero
Ditto RubySparkles: I am single because God doesn't want me to get married.
Otherwise, I would BE married. I am ex-gay and have been for almost 18 years. God has removed my attractions toward women... but I just can't seem to bond or trust or become emotionally involved with men.. I am tired of this causing so much disappointment in my life...
I stopped dating altogether quite some time ago because it was such an exercise in frustration.. guys become all attracted and involved and I feel like they are smothering me or pressuring me and I end up hurting them. Every time, I am like "PLEASE GOD let it work this time.. " and it never does... so, I am of the mind that IF God so desires to bring me a husband, I will know it and it won't be an effort to spend time with him and until that happens, I am to be content in all circumstances.. and I have chosen to do just that!
STACE
Yay, Stace!! I'm glad to hear that God has turned your life around, but I pray that he continue to help you in this area of your life. It's interesting that you post this... I just did a lot of reading last week on how God can turn people around in this way. 
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RE: Why are you still single? - 10/10/2008 2:25:19 AM
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rgod
Posts: 1475
Joined: 4/25/2005
Status: offline
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I've read some of this thread and even contributed to it previously, but I can't remember everything that I read, so I'm posting a little blindly here. Please forgive me.
Several years ago, I asked the Lord why wasn't I married? The answer that came back shocked me.
The Lord did not want to destroy me.
Had I been married earlier - I probably would have chosen the wrong type of man for me because I had a lot of things that needed to be resolved. Given my nature and temperament, I feel that this would have been disastrous for me. When I first felt like it was in the Lord's will for me to be married, I really was not happy to hear that news. I'd grown up not wanting to ever be married because the quality of the marriages I saw were so poor. So, I always thought that I'd have a boyfriend on the side while I pursued a career. I always saw myself adopting kids. Of course, when I got saved, that threw several monkey wrenches into the plan  .
When it became clear that I was to one day be married, I prayed, and asked God that He would make it a good godly, healthy marriage. I dedicated my future marriage to the Lord. At the time, I thought I'd be married within a year or two. But, I had to get healthy first and work through lots of issues. I did a lot of that in my 20s and 30s. Although God continues to work in me the change in my life has been quite dramatic. Today, I am healthy enough to be in a good relationship and to distinguish that from a poor one. I can make good choices and recover from poor choices. I've learned a lot of relational skills and a lot more. I've seen God restore some of the horrendous marriages I grew up seeing - and I saw good (not perfect - because no one's marriage is perfect) ones that started out with the proper foundation. While I am definitely far from perfect, I can say that God continues to work in me to restore me.
God brings everything in His own time. Everything in my life right now is truly about relationships - my church, my job, even the quality of my other relationships have become much more about being able to connect with others on deeper levels. Even my current profession is all about emotions and relationships and connecting with other people - even if it is briefly. All of it is preparation for the deeper connection with my future husband. So, I am excited about what God has in store! I am so excited about the marriage that He has planned. I've asked for His best - not a perfect man - because I am not a perfect woman - but God's best for me and a marriage that is what He designed. I've asked Him to make me the woman He wants me to be - for me to be thoroughly prepared for my husband. I know that sounds kind of "pie in the sky" - but I am saying that I want to do this God's way.
< Message edited by rgod -- 10/10/2008 2:45:19 AM >
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