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ptz -> RE: What is behind all of this? (7/5/2008 11:03:14 PM)
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I kind of know what you are talking about. I am 27 years old, and i met my husband on an christian online dating site 3 years ago. I have had that happen too where someone would talk to me for a while, and then just fall off the face of the earth and never hear from them again. I understand, because i was very hurt when it happened. happened about 4 times. I even had people practically propose to me, while never having spoken or communicating with them before!!!. ( i found this to be true usually with the 'foriegners' on the site). I didnt like when things like that happened. i would just block them usually. (be careful of that by the way, there are MANY foreigners that want US citizenship papers, and will prey on american christian men, believe me). I think that the whole 'online dating site' thing is very 'complex'. It is very hard to explain. It has been successful for me, since i met my husband on one of those sites, but i think the fact that you are more 'annonymous' on those sites (i.e no need to break the ice in person, easier to open up online, because you are safe behind a computer screen), kind of makes people less scared, and a bit more 'rushed'. (i.e because the whole reason they are on there is to find a mate eventually). i dont really have an 'answer' to how it all works. All i know is that the dynamics are very different from 'real life'. I would advise you to be very very VERY careful with who you talk to, and guard your heart. I say this because you have to remember that the girl you are talking to most likely is talking to 10 other people. So, you want to guard yourself. When i was first on the site, i talked to a few people regularly and my now husband ( who was one of those people at the time) also talked to some others. I knew to be careful, and not let myself think i was all to 'special' because i knew that he was talking to others. After a short while, he fell for me, and i fell for him. We then became 'exclusive friends', and only started communicating with eachother.(i.e he didnt want to ask me to be his girlfriend online, he wanted to ask me in person). He flew down to meet me 5 months after we initially started talking, and it was wonderful, and he asked me to be his girlfriend ( i said yet of course), and then 1 year later we were married. It is VERY GOOD that you met that girl in person because there is a HUGE different between online communicating and real life communication. you have to guard yourself until you officially meet the person, THEN make your assesment. You have to 'sift through ' ALLLLL the 'wrong ones for you' before you find that special one. I never EVER thought i would actually find my future spouse on a christian singles site but i did, and they are truly perfect for me.Keep on building friendships, but be weary of the 'aggressive' and 'strong' language from those who talk to you like that on the first day. usually it wont last. ( how can they profess such strong language when they dont even know you yet?) . Hang in there. You will find them. It is a long and difficult road sometimes, but use your best judgment. I knew my then husband was for me when he 'fought' for me ( i had never dated, had a boyfriend etc, before him, i was having many personal family issues etc, that was affecting me, which i thought would prevent me from being with him), and he cut off all communication with everyone else, and developed a strong relationship with me, and our love blossomed. You will find them.[:)]
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