My 5 year old's dream... (Full Version)

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VisitorinWaiting -> My 5 year old's dream... (7/12/2008 9:10:06 PM)

I woke up this morning to find my 5 year old son sleeping between my husband and I. "What's going on?" I said to hubby.
"He had a bad dream last night. He said he dreamed that he fell and got hurt."
I thought nothing more of it until later I was sitting with my son on the couch and he said, "Why did you run away in my dream last night?"
"What? Did you dream that I ran away? Ran away from what? from who?"
"I dreamed that you ran away from us...back there, through the back yard."
"I'm not running away. I will never run away. I love you and your brother and your sister. I love your daddy. I will never run away from you all."
This conversation happened at least three times today. Tonight...he's in bed, quiet...and then I hear him cry,
"Mommy."
"Yes?"
"Can you come here?"
So, I went in there, and we had the same conversation. He was scared...he came out of his bed and sat with me for a while, he cried, we talked...I put him back in bed. He told me that he was afraid to go to sleep because he will dream that I will run away again.

By the time responses come in, he'll probably be asleep...but at least for future reference, how should I handle this? I have assured him that dreams and real life are usually very different...telling him that once I dreamed that there was a tiger in my house, but asked him, "Was there REALLY a tiger in my house?" He said that there wasn't, and I told him that dreams are like that sometimes but they aren't real. ??? He's still very sad and scared.



shadowspring -> RE: My 5 year old's dream... (7/12/2008 9:16:12 PM)

Just wondering if anyone in his play circle has lost a parent lately through divorce or anything like that?

I would just keep reassuring him that you will never leave him. I would also pray with him and ask God to watch and protect your family, as I am sure you already do.

What an unusual dream!



VisitorinWaiting -> RE: My 5 year old's dream... (7/12/2008 9:28:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: shadowspring

Just wondering if anyone in his play circle has lost a parent lately through divorce or anything like that?


No. All of his play circle is mostly family and a few family friends with children...and they are all fine...no deaths or divorce or anything.

As he tells me this, I keep remembering a dream I had when he was only a few months old. I dreamed that I was driving at night, in the rain, and it was only he and I in the car. I had a wreck, and he died. I woke up crying uncontrollably. Hubby comforted me, and I went and got him out of his bed in the middle of the night and just held him while I cried. I didn't tell him about that, it would have made him even more sad, but I just think about it so much now that he's had this dream...

He's back in his bed and quiet now. He's still not wanting to sleep though....



Brandy -> RE: My 5 year old's dream... (7/12/2008 9:51:06 PM)

Has any of the present state of your marriage been played out in front of him? In any form or fashion? Even one word of anger towards or from your husband?

I had nightmares for a long time after my mom and stepdad started arguing in front of/around me. In my dreams my mom either ran away and left us or she died. It took a very long time for those dreams to stop.



VisitorinWaiting -> RE: My 5 year old's dream... (7/12/2008 10:06:32 PM)

Yikes...Brandy, I hadn't even thought about it that way. He has seen things that would have probably been best if he hadn't. He's seen my hurt many times because of what was said or done to me...he hasn't heard any of the "big" conversations, but I'm sure he's heard some stuff here and there, and being the bright little guy that he is, he might have put 2 and 2 together. Mmmm...I really never thought about this being a reason for him to think I'm leaving...



Focusing -> RE: My 5 year old's dream... (7/13/2008 12:05:03 AM)

Poor little guy! My son went through a period when he was afraid I was going to leave him. Except it was when his dad and I were separated. I spent a lot of time reassuring him that I wasn't going to leave him, I would always be there for him. If I had to go somewhere out of sight, I would make a point of telling him where I was going and when I would be back. It really helped him a lot. (It also helped him learn to tell time because he would watch the clock [:D])



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: My 5 year old's dream... (7/13/2008 12:55:58 AM)

quote:

but I'm sure he's heard some stuff here and there, and being the bright little guy that he is, he might have put 2 and 2 together.

it might not be so much that he has put two and two together, but dreaming is the way our brains process information when we are asleep...so in most dreams things are weird anyway because of the processing. It isn't reality....and sometimes isn't even anywhere near the reality of what was heard or seen....but it's just the processing of the brain and the way we "remember" the dream to be (which sometimes isn't very accurate to reality at all).



VisitorinWaiting -> RE: My 5 year old's dream... (7/13/2008 5:20:47 PM)

He slept well last night, and said that he didn't have any bad dreams.

There is one good thing out of this, even though I don't want it to take a dream like that to do it...he has been VERY cuddly with me today... :)



pbaribeault -> RE: My 5 year old's dream... (7/13/2008 5:38:40 PM)

You might consider some story telling. My 3 year old felt similarly, and I went through a little drama over and over again, playing-like.

It was about an family where the parent goes away and the little animals are all alone and then the police stop her, and say firmly over and over again that nobody is allowed to leave their children alone (never ever!) that she must never do that again. And the parent mousie says she is very sorry and she will never ever leave. It's not allowed. She understands. Children are never ever left alone. (Never ever!)



shadowspring -> RE: My 5 year old's dream... (7/13/2008 8:43:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pbaribeault

You might consider some story telling. My 3 year old felt similarly, and I went through a little drama over and over again, playing-like.

It was about an family where the parent goes away and the little animals are all alone and then the police stop her, and say firmly over and over again that nobody is allowed to leave their children alone (never ever!) that she must never do that again. And the parent mousie says she is very sorry and she will never ever leave. It's not allowed. She understands. Children are never ever left alone. (Never ever!)


Awww, that's a good story to tell little ones!



csl7037 -> RE: My 5 year old's dream... (7/13/2008 10:39:23 PM)

Poor little guy. Dreams can be so intense. Just keep reassuring him.



funny_girl -> RE: My 5 year old's dream... (7/13/2008 11:50:58 PM)

At 5 years of age, real and make believe can still be questionable to him.



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