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RE: Password sharing - 7/13/2008 4:40:31 PM
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MC4JC
Posts: 135
Joined: 7/6/2008
From: Minnesota
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I missed the section about this journey being on the same computer/laptop was your work related records. That is a NO NO - never ever keep personal stuff on your work pc. I work for the fed government and we are warned about that all the time.
If you have other people's private records on the pc, you in no way should be having personal stuff. Get another computer for home use only and get that journal OFF your company computer!
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RE: Password sharing - 7/13/2008 4:42:20 PM
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Sadey
Posts: 522
Joined: 7/25/2007
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Shadowspring and Truthrevealed said it much better than I did, so DITTO.
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RE: Password sharing - 7/13/2008 5:30:07 PM
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Sideways
Posts: 2750
Joined: 4/12/2005
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I agree that a personal journal should not be kept on the laptop if it is owned by your company. If it's owned by you and you happen to keep work records on there, then take the proper safety precautions, but do what you like with the rest of the computer. Here is what my husband says about encrypting your important data:
If you have XP Professional, the operating system has encryption built-in: http://support.microsoft.com/kb/308989
Several free and commercial products are out there. I can recommend two. Both programs can be downloaded from a website called www.download.com. The first is called "FileBarricader" and the second is called "TrueCrypt". I like "TrueCrypt" much better (I'm more familiar with the group that made it and I've used it longer), but FileBarricader has less of a learning curve. Today is the first day I tried FileBarricader, just for you.
FileBarricader works on individual files. TrueCrypt creates a volume (like your hard drive, CD Drive, or thumb drive) that you can access through "My Computer".
FileBarricader is easier to use (it's a right click option), but it is not as convenient as TrueCrypt is in every day use. TrueCrypt is much faster, but will require you to read the tutorial- it's still user friendly but their is more initial work setting up the program. TrueCrypt is easier to use if you uncheck the box "Never Save History".
Since both programs are free, you can try both and see which you like better.
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RE: Password sharing - 7/13/2008 5:35:48 PM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 6076
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: CA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MC4JC
I missed the section about this journey being on the same computer/laptop was your work related records. That is a NO NO - never ever keep personal stuff on your work pc. I work for the fed government and we are warned about that all the time.
If you have other people's private records on the pc, you in no way should be having personal stuff. Get another computer for home use only and get that journal OFF your company computer!
I agree!
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RE: Password sharing - 7/13/2008 6:48:35 PM
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hnt
Posts: 548
Joined: 4/11/2005
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I thought the whole principal of journaling was private for the most part? Journaling for most people is for their eyes ONLY! I think most people respect that as well! If people can agree on that, and most people would gather that their spouse wouldn't read it out of respect - why aren't people questioning WHY he would ask for the passcode, and then get angry when he doesn't have it?
Most people write more than venting when they journal. People also vent, and realize later they don't feel that way anymore later as well. People speak of major highs and lows. People talk about silly things in the family, and some awful things as well. Its an outlet. If its meant to be private - spouses out of respect SHOULD respect that! Its NOT meant as an insult or lack of trust or anything! Its a private thing just for you. Its not meant as some secret motive.
The principal of journaling for the most part is suppose to be private!
I would question WHY he is getting angry instead of respecting that!
_____________________________
h
Emotional abuse and Faith
Reaching for IT!!!!!!
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RE: Password sharing - 7/13/2008 6:53:31 PM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 6076
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: CA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: hnt
I thought the whole principal of journaling was private for the most part? Journaling for most people is for their eyes ONLY! I think most people respect that as well! If people can agree on that, and most people would gather that their spouse wouldn't read it out of respect - why aren't people questioning WHY he would ask for the pass code, and then get angry when he doesn't have it?
Most people write more than venting when they journal. People also vent, and realize later they don't feel that way anymore later as well. People speak of major highs and lows. People talk about silly things in the family, and some awful things as well. Its an outlet. If its meant to be private - spouses out of respect SHOULD respect that! Its NOT meant as an insult or lack of trust or anything! Its a private thing just for you. Its not meant as some secret motive.
The principal of journaling for the most part is suppose to be private!
I would question WHY he is getting angry instead of respecting that!
I question why she won't give it to him because I'm wondering if there is a trust issue there?
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RE: Password sharing - 7/13/2008 7:20:09 PM
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Mrs.Wifey
Posts: 4725
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
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We have open password sharing in this house, and both of our computers are shared although DH primarily uses a desktop and I use a laptop.
I have a paper journal that I keep in my nightstand, DH has never read it that I know of... But I don't write nasty things even after the most heated of arguments.
I think you guys probably have bigger issues if something this simple is causing such a ruckus.
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Ryanne
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RE: Password sharing - 7/13/2008 8:41:42 PM
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bzirk
Posts: 2914
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Where the deer and antelope play
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I agree with Sideways. It is just no big deal to protect the data itself. Problem solved.
quote:
ORIGINAL: shadowspring
quote:
The principal of journaling for the most part is suppose to be private!
Everything in my heart and life is open to my husband. I have no secrets. None at all.
You mean that all of your thoughts have been shared with your husband? Or maybe I'm misunderstanding your point.
IMO, journaling is usually just a recording of someone's personal, unvarnished thoughts. Not necessarily secrets just a stream of thoughts that some of them might take too long to put in context -- even to a mate. Is it even necessary to share every thought with a mate? I'm very close to my husband, but I do not share all of my unvarnished thoughts with him nor is it a problem that I don't. This idea that a husband/wife should have access to all of their mate's thoughts is hard to understand.
_____________________________
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1)
Great quote: I just ain't God and don't know it all. -- SonInMe1
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RE: Password sharing - 7/13/2008 9:16:57 PM
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hnt
Posts: 548
Joined: 4/11/2005
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quote:
Is it even necessary to share every thought with a mate? I'm very close to my husband, but I do not share all of my unvarnished thoughts with him nor is it a problem that I don't. This idea that a husband/wife should have access to all of their mate's thoughts is hard to understand.
That is what I was thinking.
quote:
I question why she won't give it to him because I'm wondering if there is a trust issue there?
Why can't it be a boundary thing Denim? To me its more principal than trust.
_____________________________
h
Emotional abuse and Faith
Reaching for IT!!!!!!
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RE: Password sharing - 7/13/2008 9:17:04 PM
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truthrevealed
Posts: 134
Joined: 12/6/2007
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If my husband became offended, highly upset or even enraged....at my wanting to read his journal, obtain his password etc....uh...I'd REALLY want to know why then! It seems this is an issue which evokes much passion...perhaps passion that SHOULD be shared with a spouse  .
I don't share EVERY thought with my husband(perish the thought!!!!)but I'm WILLING to share most everything. It's BECAUSE of that, that it's not neccesary for him to ask what some.... in other situations might find neccesary IMO.
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RE: Password sharing - 7/13/2008 10:28:24 PM
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draexo
Posts: 614
Joined: 1/26/2007
From: Saratoga County, New York
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My brother-in-law used to password protect his personal work laptop. Of course, it was also his personal laptop. It was issued by work, but he used it for all his personal stuff too. The second he got up, he would lock the computer. One day he forgot and his wife checked his email. Needless to say, they are now divorced. (She unearthed a work-place affair).
I understand the need for personal space. My wife knows I am on some Christian forums. She never checks my email or my forum posts. I do not sneak into her email. It just seems ... not even the word wrong, but, unnecessary. Yes. Unnecessary. Now for a while I did journal and she never asked to see it. I am not sure if I would be ready to share it. I do not rag on her.
It is just very personal stuff.
_____________________________
The truth will set you free!
TRUTH
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RE: Password sharing - 7/14/2008 6:56:36 AM
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car2ner
Posts: 2575
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: just north of Florida
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m'love and I were both stung by on-line secret meetings. The first thing we decided was no secrets (except his work with the military). All personal stuff is available for "peeking".
I do agree that there are some relationships where you cannot trust each other, sadly. There is alot of work to be done in these relationships that goes way past password sharing, like an above poster mentioned.
_____________________________
bungalow time http://www.car2ner.2ya.com (my blog)http://car2ner.imagekind.com/ (my portfolio)
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RE: Password sharing - 7/14/2008 9:47:13 AM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 5119
Joined: 4/4/2005
From: Jesus Land
Status: online
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quote:
Could you vent and then delete?
I was going to suggest the same thing. You mentioned that it was theraputic to put your feelings to words. Do you need to have it saved to look back at later? Could you type out feelings in letter format, venting your frustrations to the Lord as a prayer, and then give them over to Him? It could be very cleansing to pour out the ugliness and then hit delete, as a symbol of letting go of them and choosing to forgive and forget.
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RE: Password sharing - 7/14/2008 10:32:49 AM
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freakofnature
Posts: 739
Joined: 1/17/2008
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Why would anyone feel the need to write, even in personal journals, negative things about their spouse? There are, IMH, non-psychiatric educated, personal opinion. Not only does my wife have the passwords for the computer, we share the computer. I can't imagine her or I, even when we are upset with each other going to a journal or to the computer and writing negative things about each other. Just can't see it.
If you have work things on there, I would think you could trust him enough not to even look at that as I'm sure he probably isn't interested in that anyway. He probably IS concerned about how his WIFE really feels about him. I'm sure, since you have told him, that there is a personal journal there, that he is concerned about his marriage. And you keeping it a secret I'm sure isn't helping him feel like you love him. I can honestly say that if my wife was doing same, or even myself, there would be hellfire and brimstone brought down in my house on both sides. It isn't an issue of trust, it is an issue of love.
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RE: Password sharing - 7/14/2008 10:42:25 AM
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jaimestarcross
Posts: 767
Joined: 11/28/2005
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If you want to vent that's fine but don't keep a history/journal of that volatile info that portrays your spouse in a bad light.
A person vents in order to release - deal with the emotions and let go!
Don't forget to let go - Forgive! Keeping a track of his wrongs isn't the right thing to do!
*It would appear your spouse is upset already and he's not even read what you've written about him yet. Keeping the journal and password secret have done exactly what secrets will do --- create disharmony/mistrust.
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RE: Password sharing - 7/14/2008 10:55:08 AM
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Mrs.Wifey
Posts: 4725
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
Status: offline
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quote:
Why can't it be a boundary thing Denim? To me its more principal than trust.
Because, IMO, a boundary shouldn't need to be kept under lock and key. My journal is open for reading, but DH never has because it's a personal boundary. When their is a refusal to share the passwords with this much of a problem then it seems to me, that there would be a trust issue.
_____________________________
Ryanne
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RE: Password sharing - 7/14/2008 11:15:54 AM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 5119
Joined: 4/4/2005
From: Jesus Land
Status: online
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quote:
Keeping a track of his wrongs isn't the right thing to do!
Very true! The Bible says that love doesn't keep a record of wrongs. If it's a journal, even if no one else ever reads it, it's still there for you to go back over and read again, reminding yourself again of all the wrongs he has committed. That stuff needs to be forgotten, not looked at and dwelled upon.
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RE: Password sharing - 7/14/2008 11:27:28 AM
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DenimDiva
Posts: 6076
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: CA
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quote:
ORIGINAL: hnt
quote:
I question why she won't give it to him because I'm wondering if there is a trust issue there?
Why can't it be a boundary thing Denim? To me its more principal than trust.
It could be that too.
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RE: Password sharing - 7/14/2008 11:45:33 AM
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laura...
Posts: 2712
Joined: 3/1/2005
From: NE Ohio
Status: offline
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quote:
I also use the computer for work and it has some research that has patient identification features/albeit of some patients I no longer see).
As long as this info is on your laptop it is ILLEGAL to give your password to your hubby. I agree that just a single password access to client info is highly unsafe.
_____________________________
This is what the Lord says: “Stop at the crossroads and look around. Ask for the old, godly way, and walk in it. Travel its path, and you will find rest for your souls. But you reply, ‘No, that’s not the road we want!’ Jer 6:16
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RE: Password sharing - 7/14/2008 2:34:19 PM
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3cappuccinosmom
Posts: 2569
Joined: 4/12/2005
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quote:
Why the push for the password?
Why would he push for that anyway?
I have to admit my curiousity antennas would come up as to WHY it would be worth getting upset over if he knew what it was, and insisted on having the passcode to access them.
That to be would be odd, and getting upset about NOT having those passcodes seems a bit irrational to me!
Well, perhaps he has some reason to ask. Some past indescretion. Some inkling that she is hiding something. We only have the OP's side of the story.
Of course, he's a man, so it's entirely possible that he's just a controlling jerk.  (note the smiley, folks, that was *humerous* so don't jump all over me this time. )
My husband is a man of utter integrity, so it's beyond my imagination to hide a password or a journal from him. He knows where my stuff is and how to read it, but really has no interest. Now, if I made a big show about it being "secret" and mine and mine alone, he'd get his hackles up and most likely wonder what I had to hide and why I was thumbing my nose at him like that.  I'm not saying this is what's happening--just putting forward a possible scenario that doesn't involve the man being horrible and controlling.
_____________________________
 Moo
Shameless Self Promotion
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RE: Password sharing - 7/14/2008 2:48:59 PM
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freakofnature
Posts: 739
Joined: 1/17/2008
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quote:
I agree with the other's suggestions to vent and then DELETE
I'm going to go a step further than this and say vent and share, THEN delete when you and your love forgive each other... Sharing the venting and frustration may eliminate divisiveness and encourage openess.
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I don't share everything with my husband because I don't want to bore him to death or drive him crazy. Especially when I'm thinking out loud. Your girlfriends will let you change your mind but husband's always say "But I thought you said ___________ and now you're saying _________. and then thats when I say the famous words, You don't understand. Poor husband of mine, even I feel sorry for him 
