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ORIGINAL: VisitorinWaiting

Well, this situation has come full circle. Wow...you won't even believe how far this goes...it's hard for me to believe. Right now, I am very upset...shaking...and can hardly type...I am watching out for typos... Anyway, I sent him a message telling him that my mother knew such and such and did he know how that happened. He said that he told her...and he said that he told her because she told him that I owed her a lot of money and that she had bought this that and the other for us, and that he didn't think that it was right that we had bought something when we owed my mother money. What she didn't tell him is that we paid her back thousands of what we owed to her last year...and totally paid off the one major purchase that she loaned us the money for. Instead of taking his concern to me, he just took it upon himself to decide that she should know what I asked him not to tell her until she came to visit. *sigh* So, he and I discussed it via email for a day or so, and he apologized saying that I was right about what he should have said to her and that he will not get involved in situations with me and my mother again. I shrug at the apolgoy because somehow, I don't believe it.

Well, this gets a little off topic here, but my mother...my mother gossiped to my former best friend AT CHURCH. I have been told that she cries every Sunday at church and when people ask her what is wrong, she answers, "They don't want me to be a part of my grandchildren's life." All the people there are like, "Poor thing, look what her daughter is doing to her." This used to be my church. I was there for years before my parents started coming. But they all believe the gospel of my mother instead of coming to me to see what is really going on. So...my 12 year old cousin sent me a text message today telling me that she isn't talking to me anymore because of how badly I have/am treating my parents. HUH?! For one thing, why would they even be discussing this with a 12 year old?! For another, it looks like my mother is on a mission to turn all of my friends and family in my hometown against me...and from my standpoint, she's winning them over.

This angers me...but it also hurts too. Hubby doesn't understand the hurt part. He understands the anger and shares it with me...but he doesn't understand how I can be hurt when she's been so outright mean. It's my mom. It's my dad. I love them. I knew from the get-go that my mom is a controlling woman, and when she doesn't get her way, she lashes out. She has hurt many people that I can remember growing up, but I never thought she'd do this to me. When I think about my family, I wonder what she has said to them, and what they have believed. What does my grandmother think of me? What do the aunts, uncles, and cousins that I was so close to believe about me now? Why don't they ever call me to see if her stories pan out? Do they not know me any better than to think if I'm doing what she says I'm doing, I must be going mentally crazy or something? It's like they have disowned me. All they care about is my children. I told them that if they don't want to talk to me anymore, it will also mean not talking to my hubby or my children. At that, they claimed that I was keeping the grandchildren from them. Nothing about being said about not seeing me...nothing about missing seeing their son-in-law. This whole situation just makes me livid, but hurts so much too. The only family and friends that I knew for 23 years of my life all believe lies about me............

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ORIGINAL: VisitorinWaiting
So, I sent her another payment on it this week. She got it and called me--I also let that call go to voicemail--to say that we didn't need to send her money. She didn't need it. So, if he money is so much of a non-issue that she doesn't want us to pay her back, why did she mention it to friend? She'll still be getting payments from us on the debt...