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RE: August 2008 HS chat: Narnia has news to share - 8/5/2008 1:17:50 AM
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cynthia
Posts: 7917
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: Beautiful Puget Sound Region
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna
quote:
Donna how is Brian doing? Sorry if I missed an update somewhere.
I'm updating in THIS thread.
If you don't want to participate in the chatter in that thread, you can just scroll through and read Donna's posts.
Ezri, I am so glad your daughter didn't take the dating route. This is exactly why courtship works. She has really learned who that young man is.
_____________________________
When you stand up for what’s right, don’t expect the one in the wrong to be happy about. He may get very angry. That doesn’t mean you should back down and give in. It means you need to stand firm and diligently pray for him and for yourself.
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RE: August 2008 HS chat - 8/5/2008 11:53:46 AM
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cynthia
Posts: 7917
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From: Beautiful Puget Sound Region
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Wow, Jennifer, that was some dream!
The more I understand the concept of courtship, the better I like it. Watching it in action with Ezri's family helps me see how valuable it is. I was reading a thread in singles about some woman who doesn't know where she stands with a guy and his behavior. I was thinking she ought to read about courtship. In courtship, a person is a lot more likely to know where she stands and is able to really evaluate whether the other person is a good match. It's so much more open and free than the standard dating relationship.
_____________________________
When you stand up for what’s right, don’t expect the one in the wrong to be happy about. He may get very angry. That doesn’t mean you should back down and give in. It means you need to stand firm and diligently pray for him and for yourself.
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RE: August 2008 HS chat - 8/5/2008 12:31:30 PM
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Jenny-Fair
Posts: 6949
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: WA
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Please pray for me. I am very angry right now with my mother and one other person, regarding how they are dealing with Brandon. Thank you.
_____________________________
Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
My Blog
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RE: August 2008 HS chat - 8/5/2008 12:43:54 PM
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ezri
Posts: 2892
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow, Point B, NC
Status: online
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I knew Mr. B wasn't sold on courtship when he ranted to trill that he was courting HER not her family.  Another instance of his saying one thing early on then doing something different. He knew up front that courtship was Trill's choice. he knew about, and agreed to, the chaperone idea- he knew about, and agreed to respect, her choices dealing with Purity, but he took purity to mean no intercourse before marriage- not Pure (modest, virtuous, undefiled, physically chaste . He agreed verbally to a lot of things that he obviously did not REALLY agree with.
Courtship is not about self gratification and doing whatever feels good, like dating is- it is about getting to know if you really are compatible with the one you believe is "THE ONE" and doing it in an environment where you know you are both safe from raging hormones that you KNOW are there. Sometimes this means spending a great deal of time with the "intendeds" family. The last Sunday he came for a visit I felt like I had to keep them busy to keep him from pawing her. he did ask her if he might sit next to her but then took that yes to mean he could put his arm around her and pull her up next to him. Even though he had been told by her and her father that he had no husbandly right to her physical being. When she said something to him he pulled his pouting manipulation tact and said Well then I'll sit on one couch and you on the other. She said Okay, he got more pouty. Thank GOD it was time for them to be going to Youth and he had to leave soon after.
But back to the letter and her choice to tell him to refrain from calling until he had read the letter and prayed about what his response would be. The last line of the letter was "If it is meant to be the God would bring us back together." she signed it Truthfully, followed by her full given name. He did call back as Jerry was getting home. She told him about the letter- She said He pouted and bugged her about the letters contents for a while. when Jerry went in to change I sat with her harp and heard her tell him that he would have to wait for it to get there and read it. then she said Yes. Next she is saying Good bye and hanging up. She said He asked her outright if she was breaking up with him. she simply said Yes. He started his pouty stuff again and she said Good bye and hung up.
it's been a hard thing for her to have to do. I do appreciate your continued prayers for her and him as well. He is very much not the same young man that he was in march. I am concerned that he will seek her out and be ugly about everything and how none of it is his fault when most of it is. She accepts the responsibility for not standing up when she should have and allowing him to sit so close and hug her. She could have stepped back sooner. She has marked her mistakes and has told me that she does not intend to make them again.
_____________________________
<-- My Handsome Honey.
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RE: August 2008 HS chat - 8/5/2008 12:54:54 PM
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Jenny-Fair
Posts: 6949
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: WA
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quote:
I am concerned that he will seek her out and be ugly about everything and how none of it is his fault when most of it is
Your family can do a lot to keep a buffer between them, though.
_____________________________
Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
My Blog
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RE: August 2008 HS chat - 8/5/2008 12:58:20 PM
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ezri
Posts: 2892
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow, Point B, NC
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair
Please pray for me. I am very angry right now with my mother and one other person, regarding how they are dealing with Brandon. Thank you.
You got it Jen.
_____________________________
<-- My Handsome Honey.
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RE: August 2008 HS chat - 8/5/2008 1:01:27 PM
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Jenny-Fair
Posts: 6949
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: WA
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He won't talk to me. He won't even talk with an intermediary there. My mother and a few others have encouraged him to be this way and it makes me so angry! Don't they understand what they are doing?
Of course, my mom was a very rebellious kid, and I think blames her parents for it. She became a criminal--I was almost born in prison! Of all people, she should see, but she doesn't.
_____________________________
Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
My Blog
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RE: August 2008 HS chat - 8/5/2008 1:10:07 PM
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ezri
Posts: 2892
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow, Point B, NC
Status: online
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(((((jen))))) Praying for you.
_____________________________
<-- My Handsome Honey.
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RE: August 2008 HS chat - 8/5/2008 1:50:19 PM
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narnia
Posts: 519
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quote:
Don't they understand what they are doing?
Jen,
I think that's the crux of the matter-they really don't understand what they are doing.
Snarky comment here-You could always ask your mother if she wants Brandon to end up in prison too? Assuming her answer is no, you could then ask why she is doing everything in her power to make sure he does end up there?
Ezri,
How awful for Trill to be pawed on all the time. She is doing the right thing though.
I sent out a notice to folks about tambourine practice this Saturday. I included our tam leader as I found out she will participate in the dance. I heard back from her best friend and she said she will not participate.
I hope it is not because she is upset that the original tam leader is not leading this time around. The original leader was asked first and she decided she did not want to lead. It is not like she was ousted from her position. She chose not to lead, but she is still participating in the dance.
It's too bad that the best friend and her daughter won't do it, since they are two of the people that know the dance well and other people could look to them to follow in the dance.
I sent her back an email thanking her for letting me know and told her we will miss them. I'm hoping that she will talk to the original tam leader and they will be convinced to paticipate.
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RE: August 2008 HS chat - 8/5/2008 2:25:54 PM
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misaham
Posts: 636
Joined: 10/27/2007
From: Just west of Cleveland, OH
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quote:
Praying for you.
Me too.
_____________________________
Lake Erie, here we come!!
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RE: August 2008 HS chat: Narnia has news to share - 8/5/2008 3:38:21 PM
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ezri
Posts: 2892
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow, Point B, NC
Status: online
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((((judy and DD))))
_____________________________
<-- My Handsome Honey.
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RE: August 2008 HS chat: Narnia has news to share - 8/5/2008 3:56:06 PM
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2jsmom
Posts: 2877
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From: The Midwest
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Judy, praying for your Dd.
Jen, praying for Brandon.
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Sue
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RE: August 2008 HS chat: Narnia has news to share - 8/5/2008 4:26:00 PM
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narnia
Posts: 519
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Judi and daughter,
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Praying too Jen.
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RE: August 2008 HS chat: Narnia has news to share - 8/5/2008 5:21:01 PM
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Jenny-Fair
Posts: 6949
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: WA
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I wouldn't make her eat, but that's just me. I have never seen any good come from it and figure a kid knows if they are hungry or not.
Well, we just got back from the river. Brandon asked me very nicely if I would go with him because he wanted to try out his new wetsuit and didn't want to drown with no one watching. Since just yesterday I was saying that I hadn't spent enough time down there this summer, and the day was going well as far as the to-do list was concerned, I said yes. His mood has improved some, but who knows about his attitude.
Thank you all for praying. Please don't stop.
_____________________________
Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
My Blog
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RE: August 2008 HS chat: Narnia has news to share - 8/5/2008 6:17:25 PM
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narnia
Posts: 519
Status: offline
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quote:
I wouldn't make her eat, but that's just me. I have never seen any good come from it and figure a kid knows if they are hungry or not
Remember right before this she said she was hungry and wanted dinner. And when Daddy finally reappeared a half hour later and he fed her, guess what happened? She ate.
She pulls this a lot-says she is hungry and then only takes one or two bites of something. Then a few minutes later, wants something else. I don't play this game. You say you are hungry, then eat. Don't say you are hungry, take a few bites, say you are done and then a few minutes later say you are hungry again.
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RE: August 2008 HS chat: Narnia has news to share - 8/5/2008 6:36:11 PM
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Jenny-Fair
Posts: 6949
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: WA
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I guess I don't understand why it's a problem for her to eat a little now, and eat again in 20 minutes. My only rules was that they had to sit when eating--no walking around with food in their mouths, for reasons of safety and manners. Their tummies are rather small, and they get distracted easily. Plus, when her dad showed up, he sat there with her, and that helps. Perhaps she was hungry but wanted to wait for their nightly routine? I think that's completely understandable, myself. And like I said, I have never seen any good come of strife surrounding food.
_____________________________
Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
My Blog
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RE: August 2008 HS chat: Narnia has news to share - 8/5/2008 6:38:05 PM
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cynthia
Posts: 7917
Joined: 3/31/2005
From: Beautiful Puget Sound Region
Status: offline
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Narnia, that is manipulative behavior and I understand you don't want to play into it. However, food is a bad battle field, which I'm also sure you are aware of. Had you tried giving her a small portion, rather than a full sized one and letting her eat her couple bites? You could keep the rest on a plate in the fridge where she could get it and put it back away. If she didn't put it away and clean up after herself, that would be a non-food issue you could then deal with. I know these things are really difficult, especially when you husband is encouraging her to behave in this manner.
_____________________________
When you stand up for what’s right, don’t expect the one in the wrong to be happy about. He may get very angry. That doesn’t mean you should back down and give in. It means you need to stand firm and diligently pray for him and for yourself.
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On the plus side, I've replaced stress eating with exercise and am really getting into shape. 
