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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 9:00:23 AM
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Homegrownkids
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I'm not sure what to say after reading all this.
Our family size was controlled by God, even with using b.control, the children still came. We are probably looked at by some, as not providing for our children because we don't always have health insurance. Living on a pastor's income doesn't always provide for that. At times, my dh has been blessed with a supplemental income that has those benefits, and other times we've had to rely on Medical assistance for our children. Is my husband wrong for this? Should he go back to school and get a different career? I don't know.... I just know that God has always provided for our family. Always!!! I do feel, as Christians in general, that we try to control our lives way more than we should instead of yielding to God. We don't know our future, we don't know if we will be widowed, or if we will have a job loss, or loose our home, or have a major medical need, but God is in control if it happens and He will provide for those that seek His will.
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 9:05:47 AM
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bluestone
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I think churches should provide well for their pastoral family. That includes health and life insurance.
And there is a big difference in getting pregnant while attempting birth control, and purposefully getting pregnant while unable to provide food and shelter for your kids.
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 9:09:25 AM
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LaurainAL
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quote:
I think churches should provide well for their pastoral family. That includes health and life insurance.
Some have health insurance, but some don't. My DH is a pastor and our church does not provide health insurance. However, my employer does so we are covered.
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Life Trumps Choice
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 9:11:54 AM
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bluestone
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Wow. my church provides health, life, and a retirement plan.
plus the denomination has another benefit program.
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I need Christ. Not something that resembles Christ.
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 11:33:40 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2549
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
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quote:
children because we don't always have health insurance. Living on a pastor's income doesn't always provide for that.
Then shame on the church! EVERY pastor in our denomination can have health insurance. My dad just didn't have to take it because he is retired military(retired navy chaplain). Like bluestone, I believe a church should provide that for their pastors..they work hard, too.
And I do mean that in all sympathy, not a judgement against you guys.
And I don't think 5 kids is an overly large family, anyway.
My beef with large families (in real life, not talking about CW) hasn't really been the financial thing (except for one family who didn't even have beds for some of their kids) , as most of the ones I know were decent hard working middle class citizens..my beef is that they thought they were better than other people because they had lots of kids.
< Message edited by OneOfHisJewels -- 8/28/2008 11:40:51 AM >
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"We basically use what I have seen referred to as "get off your butt" parenting. It employs more interaction, more redirection, more prevention, and usually less spanking."
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 11:51:42 AM
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Jenny-Fair
Posts: 6385
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I have never met a QF family who thought that, Jewel. I wonder where you are finding them. I know a lot of large families and they feel very blessed but not above others in any way, that I could tell.
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Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 11:54:22 AM
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Kat_D
Posts: 3111
Joined: 9/2/2005
From: Where We Shake, Rattle & Roll!
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Homegrownkids
I'm not sure what to say after reading all this.
Our family size was controlled by God, even with using b.control, the children still came. We are probably looked at by some, as not providing for our children because we don't always have health insurance. Living on a pastor's income doesn't always provide for that. At times, my dh has been blessed with a supplemental income that has those benefits, and other times we've had to rely on Medical assistance for our children. Is my husband wrong for this? Should he go back to school and get a different career? I don't know.... I just know that God has always provided for our family. Always!!! I do feel, as Christians in general, that we try to control our lives way more than we should instead of yielding to God. We don't know our future, we don't know if we will be widowed, or if we will have a job loss, or loose our home, or have a major medical need, but God is in control if it happens and He will provide for those that seek His will.
Again, this thread is not about churches and their benefit packages or if or if not the government should take care of people. Many churches simply do not have enough money to provide benefits for their staff. I happen to work for a church that does, although I do contribute half of the premium payment.
I am not directing this specifically at Homegrown, but as a general question even though I quoted her:
If you know beforehand that your husband will have a "job/career/calling" that does not usually provide medical benefits or enough income to provide for more than a limited number of children; and that you will likely have to rely on the government (the rest of us) for medical care/assistance, is it right to have as many kids as you can regardless?
_____________________________
~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 11:55:19 AM
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P31W
Posts: 2972
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quote:
Our family size was controlled by God,
Do you think "sex" may have had something to do with it?
quote:
We don't know our future, we don't know if we will be widowed, or if we will have a job loss, or loose our home, or have a major medical need, but God is in control if it happens and He will provide for those that seek His will.
Let me show you what God tells us about these types of situation and how we are to "prepare" for them not sit on our hands and be guilty of persumptious sin.
< Message edited by P31W -- 8/28/2008 12:02:36 PM >
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 11:56:58 AM
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Jenny-Fair
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quote:
is it right to have as many kids as you can regardless?
It isn't about having 'as many kids as you can'. It is about believing that God is the one in charge of the creation of human beings.
There are times when your life and finances may be negatively impacted by your beliefs. Does that mean you abandon them? I think not.
_____________________________
Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
My Blog
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 11:58:30 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
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From: California
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quote:
I wonder where you are finding them.
I "found" them when I was their nanny,lol.
And also going to church with some of them...
_____________________________
"We basically use what I have seen referred to as "get off your butt" parenting. It employs more interaction, more redirection, more prevention, and usually less spanking."
-Mrs. Wifey
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 11:59:42 AM
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Jenny-Fair
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And you don't think you could be mistaken about their false pride? Sometimes we take things wrong when they are issues that already bother us.
Anyway, like I said, I have never met a family with that attitude.
_____________________________
Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
My Blog
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 12:07:20 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
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From: California
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No, I am not mistaken. I never even felt that way until AFTER dealing with those people.
When people flat out say, "We are a more Godly family than our friends, the _ _ _ _, because we have x number of kids and they only have 2, " I think that's pretty obvious. After all, at one point, they only had 2 as well.
Or when they just moved in, and the new neighbor came to greet them, and is pregant with her second child, and they said, "Well WE have a LOT more than 2 kids," in a snotty tone, that's pretty obvious.
Or when the mother states out loud, she has grown more spiritually than other women because of all the pregnancies she's been through.
_____________________________
"We basically use what I have seen referred to as "get off your butt" parenting. It employs more interaction, more redirection, more prevention, and usually less spanking."
-Mrs. Wifey
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 12:08:12 PM
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P31W
Posts: 2972
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12 A prudent person foresees the danger ahead and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.
22 You cannot separate fools from their foolishness, even though you grind them like grain with mortar and pestle.
23 Know the state of your flocks, and put your heart into caring for your herds, 24 for riches don't last forever, and the crown might not be secure for the next generation. 25 After the hay is harvested, the new crop appears, and the mountain grasses are gathered in, 26 your sheep will provide wool for clothing, and your goats will be sold for the price of a field. 27 And you will have enough goats' milk for you, your family, and your servants.
.Prov. 31: 21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. (this woman did not just pretend that the snow would not fall. She was busy working many jobs to insure "her family" was well taken care of. She was a woman "who feared the Lord" and understood what that entailed in her daily life)
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 12:09:27 PM
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Jenny-Fair
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Joined: 4/11/2005
From: WA
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That does sound pretty snotty. If she said she had grown spritually through those pregnancies, that would be fine, but to add in the 'more than other women' part is just nasty-sounding, isn't it? Well, I am sorry those are your experiences.
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Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
My Blog
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 12:11:07 PM
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Jenny-Fair
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p31w, I see that passage saying to work hard and be responsible, which is good advice no matter how many kids you have. I don't think it says to have fewer so that you have enough milk.
_____________________________
Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
My Blog
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 12:13:08 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
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From: California
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quote:
Anyway, like I said, I have never met a family with that attitude.
___
Well, I wish I hadn't.
A few years back, the family in our church that had the most kids, also had the dad that was constantly getting fired from his job for his attitude(thankfully, her parents had a large built custom home, so they lived in a separated wing of it), whereas all the other dad had good steady jobs, and some even very lucrative careers.
_____________________________
"We basically use what I have seen referred to as "get off your butt" parenting. It employs more interaction, more redirection, more prevention, and usually less spanking."
-Mrs. Wifey
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 12:16:00 PM
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P31W
Posts: 2972
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quote:
be responsible
It's not being responsible to have a baby and KNOW you cannot provide for it the bare necessities of life.
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 12:19:02 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2549
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
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And BTW, Jenny, that same family that I nannied for, although they claimed to e QF, she also got mad when she got pregnant. Don't you think that's a little weird?
_____________________________
"We basically use what I have seen referred to as "get off your butt" parenting. It employs more interaction, more redirection, more prevention, and usually less spanking."
-Mrs. Wifey
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 12:20:19 PM
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Jenny-Fair
Posts: 6385
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From: WA
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Kat, I can't answer the question because it is fundamentally flawed, due to the portion that I pointed out. That was why I pointed it out.
_____________________________
Tony: Ziva, did you kill Houdini?
Ziva: It is possible. I do not remember all their names.
My Blog
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RE: When is a family too big. - 8/28/2008 12:22:51 PM
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P31W
Posts: 2972
Joined: 6/13/2005
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Is it right to knowingly inflict added financial burdens on others (who cannot opt out of contributing) in order to raise those kids?
That's a great question that I have yet to see anyone stop and give an honest answer to.
I keep waiting for people to tell me how they are not stealing when they take from the labor his/her wages in order to support the children they tried to produce through having sex.
Now if any of you got pregnant without having sex please let me know. I only know of One person who did that and her name was Mary. Now in her case I will stand firm and say it was God in control and not her hormones.
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