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[Poll]
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If your spouse fell over dead tonight
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| We are set financially for disaster |
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| maybe my parents or in-laws could help. |
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| I would be sunk. I don't know what would happen. |
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| I would have to get aid from government or church or charity |
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| My spouse does not share our finances with me, so I don't know |
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| Other |
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Total Votes : 91
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(last vote on : 9/28/2008 1:56:42 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 8:59:08 PM
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MC4JC
Posts: 201
Joined: 7/6/2008
From: Minnesota
Status: offline
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Yes, we are set financially. We have a will, have insurance, and I work full time, so house/car expenses are taken care of.
We have Prepaid Legal in case I have any questions on anything :)
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RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 9:37:12 PM
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macokjc
Posts: 256
Joined: 2/24/2008
Status: offline
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I honestly don't think it's enough to be just debt-free. That is a wonderful place to be and certainly would eliminate some headache; but even an average funeral can cost thousands and thousands of dollars -not to mention hospital bills or other costs.
There was a family back in my hometown that lost their father last year. He did suddenly of an blood clot leaving 6 kids and a pregnant wife. (9 months along). They had no life insurance and owed back taxes on their home. The Christian community really came through for them, but the wife had to start working as soon as the baby was born.
We have policies on both of us. It's hard enough to worry about money when life is going well, I can't imagine having that added stress when you are suddenly a single parent.
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RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 9:52:26 PM
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bluestone
Posts: 2934
Joined: 2/25/2008
From: United States of America
Status: offline
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in my area a very basic death situation costs a over $5,500.00.
embalming : $600.00-$1,000.00
Casket: $2,000.00 to over $10,000.00 depending on choice. (there are cheaper models available)
other body prep: several hundred dollars.
an a variety of services including visitation and the vault which costs between $900.00-and several thousand dollars depending on materials used.
a graveside without a full funeral costs less.
THEN you have to purchase the grave site, or mausoleum crypt space, which can vary widely. And opening and closing of the grave fees, which run around $900.00 in my area. Even if you have a free space in the old church cemetery, someone has to dig.
OR you can be cremated with no frills for around $900.00
Prices certainly vary from area to area, but I think these are about average.
When someone dies, somebody has to pay up front. Funeral homes and cemeteries are being bought up left and right by conglomerates such as Destiny, Inc. and they don't work out payment plans like in the old days. Cash, credit, or go get a bank loan.
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RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/27/2008 10:01:13 PM
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buckifn
Posts: 1760
Joined: 5/23/2006
Status: offline
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all bases are covered..home is paid for...very good insurance coverage...and clear communication on the where's why's how's and who's. All of my kids know exactly what I want, and so do hers, and all of them know exactly the percentages in how the material side will be distributed.
it's not something I want others left worrying about.
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RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/28/2008 8:58:38 AM
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P31W
Posts: 2972
Joined: 6/13/2005
Status: offline
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My husband is a good man and has always made sure that his family would be well provided for incase he was unable to provide for us. He sacrificed many years of his life to make sure we would be ok.
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RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/28/2008 11:16:07 AM
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sisrev
Posts: 886
Joined: 8/7/2006
From: The South, ya'll
Status: offline
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We have enough insurance on hubby to pay off the house & all bills, and for DS to finish college (he's a junior now). I'm not working at the moment, but that's a relatively new development for me, so I'd either go back to work or go back to school and get some training for something new. Health insurance would be an issue, but we could go Cobra until I either went back to work or made other arrangements. We don't carry as much on me as on DH, but it's enough to pay off the house & bills, and DH would of course continue to work, so he would be doing fine financially with no bills to pay.
To the poster who mentioned having credit life on everything they owe---having a background in banking & insurance--credit life is one the most expensive insurances you can purchase. Most people don't pay attention to the cost because it's all rolled up into the credit note on the purchase. Most of the time you would be much, much better off to take out one term life insurance policy big enough to pay off everything you owe. That makes your notes on your purchases lower, because they are only for the purchased item, not the insurance, and insurance premium for the term life is way lower than what you pay for credit life.
_____________________________
My new blog, A Virtuous Woman
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RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/28/2008 11:39:43 AM
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doinkdom
Posts: 4259
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The higher lowcountry
Status: offline
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quote:
OR you can be cremated with no frills for around $900.00
Prices certainly vary from area to area, but I think these are about average.
^that's my choice.
And we both have life insurance. I carry the health insurance at work for us, but his work also offers it. I get it as part of my benefits, however he would have to pay a premium. We each have a living will, etc.
We also have a mutual fund that we set aside money for every month as a means to retirement someday.
So, in the event....our house would be paid for and I'd get rid of our 15 year old cars and probably buy one newer car. The rest would be incidentals and my salary more than covers that.
I don't think I'd move...we love our house. It is and will continue to be such a blessing for both of us.
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RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/28/2008 1:26:01 PM
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TorchHeart
Posts: 1497
Joined: 6/4/2008
From: One of the coldest places on Earth
Status: offline
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Minda and I thought of this early on in our marriage. We took out an insurance policy on our twin home that would help pay the house off should one of us die in an accident or because of some other reason. Our logic for that: If one of us dies, we don't lose the house due to loss of income or all the bills that might mount up as a result of the death. That's a HUGE deal since it would eliminate a major debt and give the survivor a place to live (and now raise our boy).
We also each have insurance policies on ourselves at work that name one another and our son as the beneficiaries.
Beyond that, I believe each of us have jobs that would keep us afloat should the other one die. Getting rid of one of our vehicles would probably be necessary, and a few other adjustments to living would also be required. But hopefully, it would be enough to help the other person still live comfortably afterwards.
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RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/28/2008 2:26:31 PM
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hartslove
Posts: 10
Joined: 10/4/2007
Status: offline
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My dad died Aug. 1, earlier this month, a year after a massive stroke left him completely incapacitated. (no speech, paralyzed, little to no eating). He got 2 weeks therapy & hospital and was released home to mom at their one-bedroom inaccessible apartment and slowly declined. He required total care. Kaiser did not provide transportation to appointments. My mom had to rent a wheelchair, hospital bed, a lift and rely on family & neighbors to provide endless bedding, disposable undergarments, liquid food, and sometimes choose between medicine and food. That is the nightmare that I read about but never really knew until recently. The last week of his life, Kaiser granted him care at a great hospice.
Despite his having served in Vietnam as a Marine, my father has been denied survivor benefits so far and mom has received nothing. Despite retiring after 27 years with our government, for some reason dad is ineligible for SS benefits. Mom has got nothing so far except some bogus opt out form with her name incorrect. She is waiting for life insurance, and I believe it is less than $20K.
Mom was a homemaker most of her adult life, except a few years in retail in her 40s. She stopped working and mainly looked after my dad as his health declined, so she has no pension or savings.
As Bluestone noted, funeral/cremation costs must be paid in advance. We thought it would be about $800, but there are extra costs involved, and so she didn't make her rent this month. Fortunately, family was able to lend a hand in the meantime. My dad's memorial service, at a church, was uplifting and a wonderful reflection of his life. We didn't require a casket. We had one bouquet of flowers, a slideshow, the Marine honor guard, and friends who sang. It is just the everyday trying to make it living in our nation's capital that is so tough.
This weekend mom will come to live with my family for the time being. She can regroup and get a fresh start. I think she wants to work part time, and she can take her time to decide on her next move. We are happy that she will come, and we consider it a blessing.
My husband and I both work full time. He has no benefits at least until next year. I have good life insurance coverage and accidental death insurance through my job. We already struggle to pay the mortgage. If he died, I'd probably downsize, especially since the two oldest kids are entering college. The health insurance is through my job, and my older kids are covered by my exhusband, who has good life insurance, SS and would get a pension. We have no savings, so cremation would probably be our choice.
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RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/28/2008 2:26:42 PM
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doinkdom
Posts: 4259
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The higher lowcountry
Status: offline
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yeah, that's thing about life insurance - suicide not covered. 
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RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/29/2008 9:18:09 AM
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bluestone
Posts: 2934
Joined: 2/25/2008
From: United States of America
Status: offline
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by the way, I am single and well insured. No one will have to shell out money when I die.
Pre-purchasing a grave will save you money. Waiting until the need arises will cost more. Set price when you need the grave right away, wheel and deal room if you are purchasing in advance. And be sure to get them to include opening/closing fees in writing if you pre-pay.
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RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/29/2008 9:27:29 AM
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phreddy
Posts: 286
Joined: 3/28/2007
Status: offline
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My wife and I are both insured enough to pay off the house and provide about 3 years of the lost income. So finances should not be an issue to deal with if one of us passes. I am sure that there will be plenty of other hardships if this occurs, but money should be OK.
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RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/29/2008 9:51:11 AM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 4171
Joined: 11/6/2007
From: upstate NY
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: bluestone
Pre-purchasing a grave will save you money. Waiting until the need arises will cost more. Set price when you need the grave right away, wheel and deal room if you are purchasing in advance. And be sure to get them to include opening/closing fees in writing if you pre-pay.
it sounds like you've done this ... is this dependent on you staying in the same area?
also i think term life is also important for the non-working spouse as there are lots of holes such as daycare, babysitting, more meals out, extra time off from work for children's activities and all these are added expenses.
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RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/29/2008 9:51:59 AM
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zoebob
Posts: 8781
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: land of limbo
Status: online
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If the spouse has been working there is also SS. My brother died recently. He had life insurance that paid off his mortgage and paid for the funeral. My SIL is getting enough in SS that she is doing fine. I am going through a divorce. I get about as much in Child support and my job as she is in SS but I still have to pay rent. We live a couple hours apart but the cost of living is similar and we both have 3 kids. She is doing much better off than I am financially. Even if she didn't have the insurance she would be able to get by.
My mother always said that when we were growing up my dad was worth more financially dead than alive.
ETA: My brother and my husband worked jobs of combarable income. My husband is now on disability so is not bringing in as much as when he was working. My brother however, was dealing with long-term illnesses. He was able to keep his job but over the 10 years (give or take) that he worked there he had periods where he missed several months of income and by extension contributing to SS.
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L-R: DD1, Ellies DS2, DD2, Ellies DS1
L-R: Ellies DD1, Ellies DD2, DS, Ellies DS3
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RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/29/2008 11:15:43 AM
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bluestone
Posts: 2934
Joined: 2/25/2008
From: United States of America
Status: offline
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Zoebob, will you be able to get child support?
If he is on disability, you may not get much, but if you have been a stay at home mom, I would think you may qualify for some additional support from your husband, if the divorce finalizes.
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RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/29/2008 1:05:08 PM
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bluestone
Posts: 2934
Joined: 2/25/2008
From: United States of America
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: iwillfearnoevil
quote:
ORIGINAL: bluestone
Pre-purchasing a grave will save you money. Waiting until the need arises will cost more. Set price when you need the grave right away, wheel and deal room if you are purchasing in advance. And be sure to get them to include opening/closing fees in writing if you pre-pay.
it sounds like you've done this ... is this dependent on you staying in the same area?
also i think term life is also important for the non-working spouse as there are lots of holes such as daycare, babysitting, more meals out, extra time off from work for children's activities and all these are added expenses.
If you own the graves outright, then relocate, you can put them up for sale, but normally won't get what you put into them, unless you have had them a long time, and can sell them for less than the cemetery currently charges.
I think it is very important for everyone to sit down and discuss "what if" with your spouse or next of kin. Know where important documents are located, what to expect, have some cash in savings to see you through until insurance checks are cut, and decide in advance what relatives will swoop in and try to take advantage or control the grieving spouse, and how you will handle them.
I know of a situation where a man died, but he and his wife had planned in advance, and decided to go very very cheap on a casket. His mother showed up at the funeral home as the wife was making arrangements, and demanded that the wife purchse a very expensive casket. Something more "suitable" for her son. 
The poor widow was so shaken she did so. Instead of the $800.00 plain coffin, she purchased an $7,500.00 casket. She was left in a bind, and the man's mother did not care.
(although coffins are not used a lot in the United States, they are available and normally less expensive than caskets, unless you go with exotic woods and elaborate carvings).
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RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/29/2008 1:19:20 PM
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bluestone
Posts: 2934
Joined: 2/25/2008
From: United States of America
Status: offline
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Most insurance does have a two year exclusion for suicide.
The man I posted about either was inside the two years, or had some sort of policy that excluded altogether, although I have not come across one of those for years.
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RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/29/2008 1:24:54 PM
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bluestone
Posts: 2934
Joined: 2/25/2008
From: United States of America
Status: offline
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Too bad he was living a double life, as a married QFer and church deacon, and underccover as a homosexual with an addiction problem.
His wife's shock as the story unfolded, on top of his death, was horrible.
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I need Christ. Not something that resembles Christ.
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RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/29/2008 10:51:07 PM
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ladyichigo
Posts: 572
Joined: 10/23/2007
From: Honolulu
Status: offline
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It's a sad thing to think about, but you just never know when it's that time for someone.
I am the bread-winner for our family right now. My husband is finishing up school to become a High School Math Teacher. My pay covers the monthly rent, and utilities, and other expenses. We don't have much luxury....
If I were to drop dead over night though, I wouldn't really know what my husband would do. He'll probably drop out of school or something to get a full-time job somewhere, or something.
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Mari
I'm not cool enough to come up with a witty quote, but God is still good.
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RE: If your spouse fell over dead tonight - 8/29/2008 11:02:03 PM
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McGuinessMagee
Posts: 4061
Joined: 4/13/2005
Status: offline
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I would need help.
I would cry, I would grieve, but then I'd breathe a great big financial sigh of relief that dh was no longer involved in my finances.
Kylie
_____________________________
When joy was stripped away, pain was the friend who convinced me I was still alive, but when sorrow left me empty none remained to tell me I was dead
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My policies would cover a nanny and housekeeping help for DH. His would cover a lot more but I have mostly been a stay at home mom or worked pt since we had kids. He wanted us to be able to continue that lifestyle if he died. 
