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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 10/8/2008 9:44:35 AM
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stellaluna
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
quote:
ORIGINAL: stellaluna
Okay, here is what my friend said:
quote:
It was our first Duggar experience.. I think the parents are weird.. the father reminds me of a weird cult member.. and they kinda are.. plus he ticked me off about what he said about his wife.. the oldest son got engaged and is entering into ‘courtship’.. the father says that he thinks its how it should be.. my wife was with a few boys before me and she had a lot of baggage.. but the way he said it made me think he was almost calling her a [word against TOS].. I mean, its cool to be pure.. I think its great and more people should be that way.. I would love to be a virgin before marriage.. but come on.. hold her hand!! Kiss her!!
I haven't written her back yet, but she knows I wanted to know what she thought to I could tell you guys.
For those who watched the show, is that really how JimBob sounded? If a young woman's past bothers someone a lot, they don't HAVE to go for that person (before marriage, I mean)..if he really wanted complete purity, he could look for someone else, I mean, back then, I don't mean dump his wife now. Now I'm starting to wonder if some of their extreme views have to do with unresolved past guilt. Although, she was only 17 when she married..that's not a whole lot of years to build up a lot of baggage.
I found my friend's comments curious as well, although there have been several other comments about the "baggage" here in the thread. I heard him say it, but I blew it off because I took it to be more...hyperbole...like needing a chaperone to keep one pure. I think I've been around CW long enough to be used to such conversations and attitudes, so I was just like "whatever."
I didn't think Michelle seemed quite so serious about her "baggage" as her husband did. 
Oh...and I wrote my friend back and told her the Duggars are Christian and I told her just a little bit about what they believe.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 10/8/2008 4:07:06 PM
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stateofgrace
Posts: 1994
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I wondered...do the Duggar parents believe that kissing before marriage is sinful?
What about those of you who don't believe couples should kiss before marriage? Do you believe it's a sin?
I understand about guarding your heart...but the first young man I lost my heart to didn't do any more than hug me/hold hands.
And when I first became a committed Christian, a young man latched on to me for missionary/discipleship dating purposes. He kissed me...but God guarded my heart on that one (which was a good thing, because in a short amount of time he had moved on to the next new Christian girl he found.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 10/8/2008 5:09:22 PM
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2shaye
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I agree with you stateofgrace. I think "purity" and "guarding your heart" are two different things.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 10/8/2008 8:39:20 PM
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phosadaud
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Several years back, I temporarily lived with my parents while I was preparing to buy my own house. Now, obviously I'm not a wild child and would never think of doing something that was outrageous under their roof or not, but they never treated me like a child. They treated me like an adult. I still made my own decisions. I still provided for myself. IMHO, if you are an adult, your parents should treat you as one. If you are not acting like and adult and abusing their hospitality and such, they should kick you out just like they would any other adult who "roomed" with them.
I guess for me, I have a problem when adults try to rule over other adults. That's not to say that we shouldn't respect the rules of other people's homes, but it's a mutual thing - not a you are my child and must obey me. When my parents come to my house, they respect my house rules. When I go to their house, I respect their house rules just as I would at any home I visit. Once my parents "raised me up" though, they let me go.
Remember that verse: "Train a child up in the way he should go and he will not depart from it". To me that says when someone is no longer a child, they no longer need to be trained but should be walking on their own. A parent's job is to train a child - not an adult.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 10/8/2008 9:15:47 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
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Can someone tell me about cousin Amy? The other websites keep talking about her, but y'all haven't said much..so I would like to hear about her.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 10/9/2008 12:35:53 PM
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scottishmomma46
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i think they are getting this opportunity to share thier faith and how thier family does thier day to day lifes in God. you go to thier web site and you see the home that they built as a home schooling project and the mom's testimony is awesome how they did not ask for all of these children but God has been gracious and faithful to provide so much for them and she is so trully happy to be a mom of all 17 soon to be 18 blessings. and thier older son first born josh just got married his wife anna is very pretty inside and out, yes i have been keeping up and we are getting cable tommorow so i am going to watch them on TLC to see how they use the name of God and i know they will share thier testimony in this new area.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 10/10/2008 11:55:59 AM
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Sideways
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quote:
ORIGINAL: 3cappuccinosmom
I had rather my sons save it all for their wedding day, for their one and only woman, and if that's wierd or cultish in some people's eyes, fine. 
Weird? No. Different then me maybe, but I'm not the kind of person who automatically views everyone different then me as weird.
When it comes to folks like the Duggars I may talk both about things I like about them and things I don't, but I don't expect them to act exactly like me.
I do feel bad, Maggie, that you seem to beat yourself up over that one kiss the night before your wedding (you've mentioned it a lot). Or maybe you don't, it's just hard to tell over the written word. But I think you and Josiah kept yourselves very honorable and pure, and I hope the memory of your first kiss isn't tainted by it being a few hours early.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 10/10/2008 12:13:50 PM
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scottishmomma46
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the duggars may seem different to many people because of how they live? just because they love to have a large family and just because they homeschool does not make them odd. and iam not saying to anyone that they are saying this, but i just wanted to make a comment
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faith is just not something you talk about......faith is something you do.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 10/10/2008 1:05:16 PM
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Sideways
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Well, to me the word different is just that ... different (as in, not exactly like me). It doesn't mean odd or bad or freaky. Coming from a large family or homeschooling is only different in that it's not what most families do, and that's fine.
Telling a pair of 20 year olds who are engaged and financially able to provide for themselves that they are not to be alone together and are not "allowed" to kiss even... that's weird (to me anyhow).
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 10/10/2008 5:26:37 PM
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scottishmomma46
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well as long as God is kept in the picture as long as God is put first.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 10/10/2008 5:46:21 PM
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Consecrated2God
Posts: 4913
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From: Formerly Jesus Land
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quote:
And it's possible that they've *chosen* that themselves. I mean, if they really wanted to, they could disconnect from their families and go shack up or whatever.
That's a good point.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 10/10/2008 6:46:29 PM
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Sideways
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God
quote:
And it's possible that they've *chosen* that themselves. I mean, if they really wanted to, they could disconnect from their families and go shack up or whatever.
That's a good point.
That's rather extreme isn't it? Likely they love their parents and want to be obedient. And it's hardly fair to compare a nice dinner alone & a kiss with breaking off all ties with a family and "shacking up". Plenty of couples share a kiss and time alone and still manage to make it to the alter as virgins and on good terms with their parents.
I'm not saying it's weird for two young people to be obedient in the first place, I just think the Duggars were a little heavy handed to be making such requests in the first place. So, it's more the parents who strike me as a little over the top, not the children who were raised in that environment.
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RE: Duggars getting reality show - 10/10/2008 8:02:55 PM
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kohls356
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The thing I noticed was how the kids said that their parents didn't make them choose courting and not kissing that they came to this decision on their own. But when they were all sitting in the living room Michelle specifically said that both sets of parents had agreed they could hold hands but they could not kiss. They would have to wait until their wedding day to do that. So I wonder if they really felt they had a choice or not.
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but i do not think that way in fact i do wish i could start over and since i cannot i am working very hard on my walk with God. and for the area of them not being allowed to Kiss? well, our 20 yr old daughter is dating a very nice young man and i know they are taking it slow in thier realtionship and we have met them at our 16 yr olds football games and so far David is keeping his hands in the "right" places. 
