RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the same time?
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RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/6/2008 1:45:51 PM
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DaveW
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ChelaW
Yeah, he doesn't have children, wealth or a family business. I have a 4-year-old child...I never married her father.
However, this man will be soon opening up his own insurance agency. He had it opened a couple years ago, but it didn't work out for whatever reason.
I think he's saying that by the time we actually get married, he'll have some sort of wealth from his business. I don't disagree with that. But in the meantime, he's struggling financially just like I am, and I am/will be trying to help him with my own education & knowledge to get his business up and running. I say that not to make an argument that I'll "deserve" some of the wealth, but that I'm CLEARLY not after his money.
But my main point is: how can you act in faith & sign a prenup? It's an oxymoron to me! We have put God in the center of our relationship, and would definitely have Him in our marriage, so there's no need to think "just in case it doesn't work out..." because if we have a covenant with God & each other, it WILL work out. There will be hard times, of course, but it WILL work.
Am I wrong or even naive in this thinking? No - and I think the situation you describe would have no legitimate call for a prenup. You will be building the business together. In the event of the unthinkable, you definately deserve your share of it.
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RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/6/2008 4:39:26 PM
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laura...
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quote:
Lately, we've been half-jokingly talking about marriage. He's playing with the idea of having me sign a pre-nupital agreement if we were to get married (we've only been dating for a couple of months, so this is all very hypothetical).
quote:
However, this man will be soon opening up his own insurance agency. He had it opened a couple years ago, but it didn't work out for whatever reason.
I think he's saying that by the time we actually get married, he'll have some sort of wealth from his business.
Is he seriously proposing or isn't he?
If he's seriously considering marriage with you then I see a lot more red flags than the mention of a prenup. For one, he's considering opening a business that he's already failed at. For another, he has very unrealistic expectations of making a fortune very quickly unless he has no plans of marrying for a decade or two.
quote:
But in the meantime, he's struggling financially just like I am, and I am/will be trying to help him with my own education & knowledge to get his business up and running.
If he's NOT seriously considering marriage with you and this is all very hypothetical, then why are you considering investing yourself into his nonexistant business?
I recommend that you take several large steps back from this relationship in terms of your emotional investment. He may have a seriously unrealistic view of his own assets.
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RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/7/2008 10:13:47 AM
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ChelaW
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quote:
ORIGINAL: laura...
quote:
Lately, we've been half-jokingly talking about marriage. He's playing with the idea of having me sign a pre-nupital agreement if we were to get married (we've only been dating for a couple of months, so this is all very hypothetical).
quote:
However, this man will be soon opening up his own insurance agency. He had it opened a couple years ago, but it didn't work out for whatever reason.
I think he's saying that by the time we actually get married, he'll have some sort of wealth from his business.
Is he seriously proposing or isn't he?
If he's seriously considering marriage with you then I see a lot more red flags than the mention of a prenup. For one, he's considering opening a business that he's already failed at. For another, he has very unrealistic expectations of making a fortune very quickly unless he has no plans of marrying for a decade or two.
quote:
But in the meantime, he's struggling financially just like I am, and I am/will be trying to help him with my own education & knowledge to get his business up and running.
If he's NOT seriously considering marriage with you and this is all very hypothetical, then why are you considering investing yourself into his nonexistant business?
I recommend that you take several large steps back from this relationship in terms of your emotional investment. He may have a seriously unrealistic view of his own assets.
No, he's not seriously proposing. We discuss these things semi-jokingly, knowing that it is a possibility (marriage). I'm not planning on really investing myself in the business; I have my own career. But I have more of a formal business education than he does, and I work in Marketing/PR, so I'll be available to offer advice if he asks.
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RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/7/2008 10:15:53 AM
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hotsaucygma
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How long have you been dating him?
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RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/7/2008 11:29:56 AM
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Focusing
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Discussing marriage is a joke between you two?
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RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/7/2008 1:03:08 PM
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ChelaW
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Hotsaucygma, we've just been together for 2 months.
Focusing, marriage is not a joke to us nor is dicussing marriage a joke. But we half-jokingly talk about what it will be like "when" we get married...it's half-joking because obviously it's too early to know if we'll get married or not.
However, we are dating (or rather, in a relationship) for the sole purpose of finding out (with God's guidance) if we're right for each other.
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RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/7/2008 1:05:24 PM
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raivyne
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I suspect there may be a bit more than a casual joke behind the pre-nup... though I don't know because obviously I don't know him. I mean its certainly nothing that would cross my mind to joke about... I've always felt they were rather crass.
Just be careful there :)
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RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/7/2008 5:12:32 PM
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hotsaucygma
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Ahh, so he really doesn't know you all that well yet... or you him. If after 6 or 8 mos. of serious dating he is still talking about it, I'd rethink the situation.
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Dear Lord, let my words today be as sweet and delicious as cheesecake... for tomorrow I may have to eat them!
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RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/7/2008 5:27:57 PM
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ChelaW
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quote:
ORIGINAL: hotsaucygma
Ahh, so he really doesn't know you all that well yet... or you him. If after 6 or 8 mos. of serious dating he is still talking about it, I'd rethink the situation.
Exactly. Anytime we've actually had a serious conversation, he doesn't bring it up. He only talks about it jokingly, but I assured him that I will NEVER, EVER sign a pre-nup for him or anyone else.
I've also expressed my requirement for premarital counseling when I get engaged. So I'll say, "Well, let's just ask the pastor (when that time comes) what he thinks about this" and he'll be like, "Oh, I know what he'll say. But you know I'll marry you whether you sign one or not."
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RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/7/2008 9:21:59 PM
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Limulus
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From: Omaha, Nebraska
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In this day and age where divorce is everywhere. I would recommend you both get a prenup. People that you would "never" think would get divorce, divorce. A prenup can protect you both.
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RE: How can you sign a pre-nup & act in faith at the sa... - 10/8/2008 3:17:53 PM
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sudden
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Limulus
In this day and age where divorce is everywhere. I would recommend you both get a prenup. People that you would "never" think would get divorce, divorce. A prenup can protect you both.
Limulus:
I couldn't agree more. Just look in the marraige section of these forums and you will see that many marriages there are troubled. It is unfortunate but I think it most necessary.
Sudden
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