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RE: What's your definition? - 10/2/2008 6:36:53 AM
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losgan
Posts: 714
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From: Austin-Garland, Texas
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Love, to me, is when you become a vessel for delivering God's love to someone.
Of course - that manifests itself different ways with different relationships.
The Bible says that:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
Love is a fruit of the Spirit of God living within us.
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RE: What's your definition? - 10/2/2008 7:36:31 AM
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Grace-N-Mercy
Posts: 6380
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ebony101
What's your definition of love? In my last relationship, the guy kept telling me he loved me at the end of every date. I could never respond with "I love you, too". I thought it was wierd since we had just started dating that he would be declaring love so instantly. Anyway, aren't guys supposed to be afraid to say the L word.  I just wondered - relationshipwise, how do people define love. Do people have a definition of love? Or is it a word that is tossed around easily. Here's my definition:
Love is not an emotion or feeling. It is a commitment, an attribute which you acquire through hard work (in this case the hard work of building a relationship.
Just wanted to say that it's been my experience that guys are more emotional than women at times. Their feelings may run much deeper than we realize, it's just that they don't know what to do with those emotions, so they appear stoic. But the more I learn, the more I'm convinced their hunger for love is just as strong, if not stronger, than ours. Guys, am I close?
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RE: What's your definition? - 10/2/2008 8:35:05 AM
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John_O
Posts: 8064
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ebony101
Here's my definition:
Love is not an emotion or feeling. It is a commitment, an attribute which you acquire through hard work (in this case the hard work of building a relationship.
Close to mine. Except you don't acquire it, you decide it. Love is a decision to always seek the absolute best for the other person, sometimes at a sacrifice to what's absolute best for yourself.
It is impossible to fall out of love, because you never fall into it. It can only be entered with eyes wide open, recognizing the commitment you are making.
It has both a feeling side (not to be confused with infatuation which most people call "love") which grows stronger and stronger as it is nourished in marriage, and an intellectual side, which also grows stronger.
Love demands that you see the reality of the other person, all their faults and failings, all their trials and triumphs, and yet desire to do what's best for them. We are always loved in spite of who we are, not because of it.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Grace-N-Mercy
Just wanted to say that it's been my experience that guys are more emotional than women at times. Their feelings may run much deeper than we realize, it's just that they don't know what to do with those emotions, so they appear stoic. But the more I learn, the more I'm convinced their hunger for love is just as strong, if not stronger, than ours. Guys, am I close?
I'd agree. From what I've seen in myself and those around me, women tend to be more fickle, "falling into" and "out of" love while guys tend to make the decision and stick to it.
There's a country song "He stopped loving her today" that applies.
My parents marriage fell apart well over 30 years ago. Dad divorced mom but to this day still loves her. He's never dated since her.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: What's your definition? - 10/2/2008 11:24:35 AM
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raivyne
Posts: 862
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Sigh.. John, you're going to have me sining George Jones for the rest of the day!
I like losgan's post, that's what real love is.
GNM... so true.
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Good – God = 0
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RE: What's your definition? - 10/2/2008 12:48:06 PM
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MaleorderBride
Posts: 61
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I believe that both losgan and John_O have hit upon complimentary components of the definition of what we call romantic love. Both have truth in them. There may be even more factors involved like physical attraction and all of the physiological and hormonal reactions that accompany it.
Men are not supposed to be afraid of the L-word, but some are for what ever reason: Afraid of appearing weak or less than masculine, afraid of being rejected, afraid of a commitment he isn't sufficiently prepared for, afraid of the responsibility it requires, afraid of the drastic change in lifestyle it brings, afraid of the possibility of losing oneself in the partnership, afraid of being asked to give up all he treasures or holds dear in favor of her treasures and possessions, afraid he will be the only one asked to compromise. It is very rare for a man to be afraid of the word "Love" just because he wants to party like a frat boy for the rest of his life. In fact I've never met a man like that. I've only seen them on bad sitcoms. In fact, Grace-N-Mercy is correct when she said that men are just as emotional as or even more emotional than women are. The problem is that most of us guys are still trapped in that stereotype we grew up with that "Big boys don't cry." Men are raised to hide their emotions behind a masked of forced stoicism because to be seen displaying a tender feeliing is a sign of weakness. "Never cry when it hurts, never show the pain."
But some men, whether they were raised this way or it's a reaction against the male stereotype, snap back to the other extreme and are much too willing to show everyone what is going on inside no matter how inappropriate or ill-timed. It's possible the feelngs the guy you spoke of had were genuine but he might have been immature enough that he was confusing love with infatuation. Or it's possible that the love he was expressing is the same love that we all have for good friends and he's just a demonstrative type of person. He also might be one of those unfortunate persons that fall head over heels for everyone that consents to go out with him. He could even have been a sleazeball trying to convince you that it's "...true love so it's okay if we sleep together."
Personally, I believe that genuine romantic love is different for everybody. It is a unique experience everytime and cannot be accurately pinned down with a dictionary definition. It's much too complicated for that. It involves a God given spirit of love, a choice to love one person for all time and a dedication to live up to that choice. It includes having another persons interests ahead of your own, mutual respect, mutual goals and you cannot forget mutual desire. Not something vulgar, but something beautiful as described in The Song of Songs.
The closest you'll ever come to an all encompassing definition for the conglomerate of emotions we collectively name "Love" comes from 1 John 4:8 where the Apostle states "...God is Love."
< Message edited by MaleorderBride -- 10/2/2008 12:56:21 PM >
_____________________________
Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready.
Revelation 19:7
<= That ain't me by-the-way. I don't wear a handlebar mustache.
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RE: What's your definition? - 10/2/2008 1:52:07 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8064
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quote:
ORIGINAL: raivyne
Sigh.. John, you're going to have me sining George Jones for the rest of the day!
I like losgan's post, that's what real love is.
GNM... so true.
I like George Jones, I can sing him.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: What's your definition? - 10/2/2008 2:00:35 PM
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jesuschick247
Posts: 2277
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My definition of love is I Corinthians 13:4-8, you know, the love chapter! For me not only does
the guy have to say he loves me, he has to show it by the way that he treats me! He can't put
me down and treat me like dirt and expect me to think he really loves me! True love for me is
loving when you don't feel like it too, love should be something we CHOOSE to do
everyday for the person we spend will forever with, even if we don't FEEL like loving them
that day. But hey, that's just my two-cents worth!
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
I like George Jones, I can sing him.
Really?*raises an eyebrow* That I would have to hear to believe! He's okay, I like Josh
Turner's music better though...gotta love the song "Would You Go With Me?" LOL!
_____________________________
I Think I'm Outta Control!
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RE: What's your definition? - 10/2/2008 2:32:55 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8064
Joined: 9/5/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jesuschick247
love should be something we CHOOSE to do
everyday for the person we spend will forever with, even if we don't FEEL like loving them
that day. But hey, that's just my two-cents worth!
Exactly correct!! The decision lasts even when the infatuation wears off. Emotional love is much deeper than infatuation, but it takes a while to grow. In the beginning infatuation burns much hotter than love so many people quit when the infatuation burns out but the love hasn't blazed up from the embers yet. The decision keeps you working on loving them when you don't feel like it.
quote:
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
I like George Jones, I can sing him.
Really?*raises an eyebrow* That I would have to hear to believe! He's okay, I like Josh
Turner's music better though...gotta love the song "Would You Go With Me?" LOL!
Come to the next GT. I'll sing some George Jones, or Ray Price, or some of those other older country guys. I also do a pretty good Willie Nelson. (I've been expanding my repetoire)
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: What's your definition? - 10/2/2008 2:46:08 PM
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jesuschick247
Posts: 2277
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: jesuschick247
love should be something we CHOOSE to do
everyday for the person we spend will forever with, even if we don't FEEL like loving them
that day. But hey, that's just my two-cents worth!
Exactly correct!! The decision lasts even when the infatuation wears off. Emotional love is much deeper than infatuation, but it takes a while to grow. In the beginning infatuation burns much hotter than love so many people quit when the infatuation burns out but the love hasn't blazed up from the embers yet. The decision keeps you working on loving them when you don't feel like it.
How come someone else can always put what I am trying to say so much better than the way I
said it?!? LOL! That's what happened last night when we were talking about this subject, Singing
Boy put what I was thinking in much better words than I could have, he may not talk much, but
when he does, you better listen because it's going to be something profound!
Like you said though true love burns much longer than infatuation. I believe because true love
is a slow, continual burn where infatuation is a here today, gone tomorrow blaze. Infatuation
may seem more exciting, but it is worth the wait to find a true, lasting love!
_____________________________
I Think I'm Outta Control!
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RE: What's your definition? - 10/2/2008 3:13:08 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8064
Joined: 9/5/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: jesuschick247
true love is a slow, continual burn where infatuation is a here today, gone tomorrow blaze. Infatuation
may seem more exciting, but it is worth the wait to find a true, lasting love!
This needs to be posted in every high school and college class room, and in every teenager's bedroom.
quote:
he may not talk much, but
when he does, you better listen because it's going to be something profound!
BTW, Years ago this was said about me and it remains to this day the best compliment I've ever received. SB sounds like a good guy.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: What's your definition? - 10/2/2008 3:16:55 PM
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jesuschick247
Posts: 2277
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: jesuschick247
true love is a slow, continual burn where infatuation is a here today, gone tomorrow blaze. Infatuation
may seem more exciting, but it is worth the wait to find a true, lasting love!
This needs to be posted in every high school and college class room, and in every teenager's bedroom.
LOL! I couldn't agree more! That is what mom would tell me every time I would come home
from High School gushing about some guy, and she was right, not one of them turned out to be
worth my time, maybe I should learn to listen better to the wise adults around me...LOL!! The
scary thing is now that I am a youth leader, the teenagers ask me for advice on the subject of
true love...it still kind of scares me that I will say something wrong when they ask me questions
that I just was having myself what seems only a few months back...
_____________________________
I Think I'm Outta Control!
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RE: What's your definition? - 10/2/2008 3:29:43 PM
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WaitingforBoaz
Posts: 3933
Joined: 2/11/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MaleorderBride
Personally, I believe that genuine romantic love is different for everybody. It is a unique experience everytime and cannot be accurately pinned down with a dictionary definition. It's much too complicated for that. It involves a God given spirit of love, a choice to love one person for all time and a dedication to live up to that choice. It includes having another persons interests ahead of your own, mutual respect, mutual goals and you cannot forget mutual desire. Not something vulgar, but something beautiful as described in The Song of Songs.
The closest you'll ever come to an all encompassing definition for the conglomerate of emotions we collectively name "Love" comes from 1 John 4:8 where the Apostle states "...God is Love."
Excellent MaleorderBride
I would like to add:
Just when you think you can't give any more, you do.
Just when you think you've had enough, you stay.
Just when you've decided that you deserve more. You give more.
Just when you thought it wasn't worth it, you decide that it is.
Just when you think it's time to give up, you find the strength to stick it out.
With God all things are possible, even loving the seemingly unlovable.
_____________________________
"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams.... he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." - Henry David Thoreau
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RE: What's your definition? - 10/2/2008 6:04:29 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2105
Joined: 12/11/2007
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quote:
would like to add:
Just when you think you can't give any more, you do.
Just when you think you've had enough, you stay.
Just when you've decided that you deserve more. You give more.
Just when you thought it wasn't worth it, you decide that it is.
Just when you think it's time to give up, you find the strength to stick it out.
With God all things are possible, even loving the seemingly unlovable.
_____________________________
What if your husband/wife is cheating on you and has no plans to stop? What if they are physically abusive? Or gambling your finances away? Or molesting your children? Would you give more? Stay longer? COnsider the relatioship stll worth saving? A lot of women do. IS that love? Unconditional love?
Sometimes, loving someone means walking away, and stopping to give...not because we don't love them enough...but because even if we can love them more, we have to let God teach them how to love...and maybe they'll learn to love us back...or not....
_____________________________
The heavens declare the glory of God;
And the firmament shows His handiwork. Psalm 19: 1
____________________________________
To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven. King Solomon
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RE: What's your definition? - 10/2/2008 10:25:34 PM
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losgan
Posts: 714
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Austin-Garland, Texas
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
What if your husband/wife is cheating on you and has no plans to stop? What if they are physically abusive? Or gambling your finances away? Or molesting your children? Would you give more? Stay longer? COnsider the relatioship stll worth saving? A lot of women do. IS that love? Unconditional love?
Sometimes, loving someone means walking away, and stopping to give...not because we don't love them enough...but because even if we can love them more, we have to let God teach them how to love...and maybe they'll learn to love us back...or not....
Thank you for posting that PH - it puts some things into words I wouldn't have been able to.
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RE: What's your definition? - 10/3/2008 9:47:23 PM
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makarizo
Posts: 2979
Joined: 4/13/2005
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an "I love you" at the end of a date (unless one understands love) sounds like a manipulative tool one uses to acquire something.
quote:
Anyway, aren't guys supposed to be afraid to say the L word.
not this guy!!!! I say it all the time... it is something I have a lot of, and I like to share it!!
_____________________________
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RE: What's your definition? - 10/3/2008 10:54:37 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8064
Joined: 9/5/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PopsiLufsJesus
I suppose the Word defines it best in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Better than I could put it into words.
Lately, I'm learning that I'm not a VERY good lover. The more I read this passage in 1 Corinthians the more I find myself to ABSOLUTELY fall short of it. I'm not losing heart though because the One who lives inside my heart knows how to love PERFECTLY and He is teaching me of Himself. The more time I spend with Him and the more I grow in relationship with Him the clearer TRUE love becomes to me.
I have a GOOD friend who used to always use the saying, "whatever that looks like." I know that I want to experience the love that Jesus is showing me and is to me at a level that completes me before I ever began to experience the love that another human could share with me...
Whatever that looks like...
I think the first step is learning how to love God. The more we are able to love God the better able we will be to love those He loves.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: What's your definition? - 10/4/2008 11:52:32 AM
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gaylel1
Posts: 1326
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Southern California, the land of Fruit and nuts...
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There is nothing wrong with romantic love, but romantic love is not the only love. There's is another love and that is the love that people lay down their lives for each other.
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Visit me at http:www.gayleplace.blogspot.com or http://www.myspace.com/gaylel121
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RE: What's your definition? - 10/4/2008 11:55:48 AM
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John_O
Posts: 8064
Joined: 9/5/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: gaylel1
There is nothing wrong with romantic love, but romantic love is not the only love. There's is another love and that is the love that people lay down their lives for each other.
And that loveis teh love that should existin our marriages. (In fact the husband is COMMANDED to love that way)
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: What's your definition? - 10/4/2008 6:29:15 PM
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Prairiehiker
Posts: 2105
Joined: 12/11/2007
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...you know that phrase, you can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving?
I think the answers thus far has been about the manifestations of love, not what love is. Commitments can exist without love. It can be done out of obligation. So are loving actions. One can do them because she feels that it is her duties but devoid of really deep and profound affection for the person she's serving.
If love is the driving force behind out actions, then, it's powerful. It can change even the hardest of hearts. But if it's obligation that's driving us, and our hearts are not truly there, then, it won't have much of an effect.
Also, if love is a commitment, and act of kindness, patience, etc, then, I can pretty much love anyone and be happy with them. But we know that to be not true. Man/woman relationship requires a certain element that drive us to display all these acts and be joyful while doing them..and that element is love.
Just a thought...and maybe not too relevant to this topic, but I'd ask anyway.....was God obligated to rescue us or did he love us therefore needed to rescue us.
...my brain is fried...too much studying...and my thoughts are not coherent......
_____________________________
The heavens declare the glory of God;
And the firmament shows His handiwork. Psalm 19: 1
____________________________________
To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven. King Solomon
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