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RE: Maggie's Musings VI - 4/16/2005 11:10:57 PM
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magdaleine
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Thanks, Diane. It's not been the greatest weekend. Dh and I had a big fight. Well, I don't know that "fight" is the right word. It started over a couch that's for sale but really it was about my continued sense that I don't matter to him. He doesn't listen. He shuts me down. If I can't discuss the pros and cons of a couch for sale how can I feel safe enough to say anything else? What's the point of talking if my words don't matter and if my words don't matter, do I? And if he sees me in pain but does nothing to reach out but sits in rigid, stony silence, do I really matter?
When we talked out all the issues, he could repeat back to me what I said so it seems like he understands it in his head but there was no connecting of hearts. Rather, it's like he wants to relate only in relation to a checklist. So long as he follows all the "rules", things are fine. But relationships and especially marriages aren't built on rules, they are built on the connecting of two hearts.
He doesn't get it. He seems to be completely clued out. So what do I do? Do I fight to get his heart or do I live the rest of my married life without mattering to him in the ways that matter to me? Does it matter if I matter to him?
I know I matter to God. He's been making that joyously obvious. Is that all that matters? Why do I hurt so much if it is?
< Message edited by magdaleine -- 4/16/2005 11:13:23 PM >
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Maggie
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RE: Maggie's Musings VI - 4/16/2005 11:18:29 PM
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awed
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(((Maggie)))
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RE: Maggie's Musings VI - 4/16/2005 11:32:16 PM
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magdaleine
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Thanks, Sharon.
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Maggie
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RE: Maggie's Musings VI - 4/17/2005 12:11:50 AM
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magdaleine
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Thank you, Dee Dee. I love that hugging smilie. It's so good!
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Maggie
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RE: Maggie's Musings VI - 4/17/2005 12:44:50 AM
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magdaleine
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quote:
Do I fight to get his heart or do I live the rest of my married life without mattering to him in the ways that matter to me?
That question ignores the promise God gave me about my marriage. Somehow that promise factors into all this. Maybe I have to be WILLING to continue with out dh's heart and trust God to do what he said he would do and realize that when he does it might not look like I expect it to.
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Maggie
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RE: Maggie's Musings VI - 4/17/2005 1:56:25 AM
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awed
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quote:
Maybe I have to be WILLING to continue without dh's heart and trust God to do what he said he would do and realize that when he does, it might not look like I expect it to.
I believe you have dh's heart Maggie, or should I say it this way; that you are in his heart, it's just that he still can't show you, it seems, in a way that makes you feel like you matter on the deeper level. But in your thought up there about it might not look like I expect it to, I do believe that God knowing your heart and your need, that he would reveal in a way that you may be fullfilled. Praying for that anyway. (((Maggie)))
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RE: Maggie's Musings VI - 4/17/2005 11:25:38 PM
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magdaleine
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We bought the couch, matching armchair and matching coffee table. I think it looks awfully prissy and formal. It's not the sort of couch you could lose things under because it stands on legs. A dog could fit underneath.  The upholstery is like a brocade filled with very small floral design in tones of greens and rose. I had wanted to the living room to have an oriental flavour. This couch kind of nixes THAT idea.
But as I thought about it I realized that greens and rose tones are what we have in other parts of the house. Also, I have a table and four upholstered "dining" chairs whose legs match the legs of the couch. And the colour of the chair upholstery picks up one of the shades of rose. So the style nor the colour are completely out in left field but rather pick up on a theme and carry on with it.
So I decided that if they were comfortable to sit in, I'd agree to buy them. They are! Some couches sink too deep. Others the back of the couch is too far from the front edge and I can never sit comfortably but these are just the right firmness (very firm) and of comfortable dimensions. They are 15 years old but except for a bit of unnoticeable scuffing on the legs, are in very good repair. We bought all three items for 1/3 of the original cost of just the couch. So it was a good deal and they're good quality so I'll live with them.
And my boys don't like them so maybe they'll actually stay out of the living room and let me have one tidy place to which guests can come without having to get out the backhoes to clean up.
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Maggie
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RE: Maggie's Musings VI - 4/18/2005 12:06:01 AM
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briankeith
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Hello Maggie.
You probably don't know or remember me from the old forums at CW.
I just started there about a month or two before the new forum came along.
I just wanted to tell you how blessed I am to hear your testamony.
It's always a blessing for a new christain to hear something like that. A blessing for anybody, for that matter.
So, thank you Maggie.
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RE: Maggie's Musings VI - 4/18/2005 1:21:45 AM
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briankeith
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Hi Sharon.
How are you?
Hey what ever happened to " flat awed " anyway. I thought that was awsome!
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RE: Maggie's Musings VI - 4/18/2005 1:39:55 AM
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briankeith
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Cool!
I speak from the heart, and my heart is with God, like so many others here.
Thank you. I would like to get to know all of you better. You guys are a blessing in my life.
I really must get to bed though, cause i've been up for over 18 hours now trying to get ready to go on night shift for the summer. 3:00pm to 1:00am.
So, good night Sharon and God bless you.
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RE: Maggie's Musings VI - 4/18/2005 2:49:17 AM
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cherish405
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Maggie, I haven't had a chance to read through your whole thread yet, but I just wanted to say hi and that I'm still thinking of you.
I'm sorry that you haven't had the best weekend. I hope that things improve really soon.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((MAGGIE))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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RE: Maggie's Musings VI - 4/18/2005 12:28:19 PM
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magdaleine
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Hi Brian! I remember you! Welcome to Maggie's Musings! Thank you for stopping by and telling me you've been blessed. I really appreciate that. You write, "It's always a blessing for a new christain to hear something like that." Are you a new Christian?
Sharon, you're right about the mix and match and actually I'm already seeing some things that might work. Here's a picture of what we bought: http://www.mts.net/~theborg/sofa1.jpg
Hi Trish!
I've been busy working on my website and now have a blog added (thanks to Kimberly and my ds1 for their help). Now I have to work on appearance to kind of bring everything together and looking nice, but it's a start.
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Maggie
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RE: Maggie's Musings VI - 4/18/2005 12:31:56 PM
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briankeith
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Hello Maggie.
Yes, I'm only about 4 months old and God a VERY strong in my life.
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RE: Maggie's Musings VI - 4/18/2005 12:50:00 PM
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magdaleine
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Welcome to the family of God, Brian! I'm going to have to go look and see if the old forums are still up so I can find your testimony.
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Maggie
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RE: Maggie's Musings VI - 4/18/2005 12:54:20 PM
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briankeith
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Awwww, that would be wonderful.
If you find it let me know, will ya?
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RE: Maggie's Musings VI - 4/18/2005 1:03:37 PM
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stamper_ben
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quote:
ORIGINAL: briankeith
Awwww, that would be wonderful.
If you find it let me know, will ya?
I thought he was gonna say "If you find me let me know." 
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We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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RE: Maggie's Musings VI - 4/18/2005 1:35:34 PM
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karlie
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From: Central California
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Just thought I'd pop in and say Hi Maggs :) I can't wait for summer break and more time to catch up with everyone! Oh, and the couches sound beautiful...my mom's livingroom is in greens and roses and it's gorgeous.
Mom should be getting her biopsy report back tomorrow...I'm more worried about it than she is, I think
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RE: Maggie's Musings VI - 4/18/2005 1:43:30 PM
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magdaleine
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Brian, I found it and read the first 16 posts (what shows up in one window according to my settings there) of your blog. I'll read more later. I'm really enjoying it.
Ben, you're goofy.
Hi Karlie! I hope all will be well with your mom. I like green and rose tones--one reason I was willing to buy the couch etc. It's what I have in my kitchen.
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Maggie
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RE: Maggie's Musings VI - 4/18/2005 1:58:54 PM
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stamper_ben
Posts: 10879
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From: Lone Star State
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quote:
ORIGINAL: briankeith
To find me, just feed me clicks every now and then!
And no, Ben, NOT chicks, clicks! 
I don't eat little chickens.
Why not? They taste just like rabbit![img]http://www.anchoredbygrace.com/smileys/mgyes.gif[/img]
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We will be known as His by the love we show one another.
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