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sterilization question..this is NOT for the QF's - 5/2/2008 2:12:39 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
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From: California
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What do you think of the morality and ethics of purposefully not having children biologically, and yet still trying to adopt? And even of having a sterilization before kids? You see, I am not married, and I am 36, and I would like to marry. I would also like to be a mother. However, due to my age, and due to medical issues I have had, some related to the reproductive system, and some not, I am just more and more getting to the point where I really don't want biological children, because I don't want to take the risk of having a child with severe health problems and/or disabilities/deformities. I think I would prefer adopting one or two kids, if I do marry (I've even thought about adopting 1 kid if I stay single, but that is another thread), and be able to go through an adoption agency and request a healthy child. Before anyone jumps on me for that, keep in mind, I do have a severely disabled sister, and while I love her dearly, I just don't want to go through that again. Yes I know, even a healthy child could get in an accident, but let's not get TOO speculative. Some people say this is ok, and some people say all married couples should try for at least one or two of their own, but I'm getting to the point where I don't necessarily agree with that. Thoughts?
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"We basically use what I have seen referred to as "get off your butt" parenting. It employs more interaction, more redirection, more prevention, and usually less spanking."
-Mrs. Wifey
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RE: sterilization question..this is NOT for the QF's - 5/2/2008 5:59:26 AM
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Random
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I think it is admirable to be willing to raise a child that is not your own, so there is nothing wrong with adopting even if you are able to have a child biologically.
What is a QF?
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"That which has always been accepted by everyone, everywhere, is almost certain to be false." -- Valery
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RE: sterilization question..this is NOT for the QF's - 5/2/2008 11:09:12 AM
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stellaluna
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I'm in exactly the same boat as you. We haven't gone so far as to consider sterilization, but I would not blame anyone for doing so and then adopting.
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I'm tired of signatures.
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RE: sterilization question..this is NOT for the QF's - 5/2/2008 11:14:47 AM
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Tinkerbell_
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I don't want anymore biological children, but I wouldn't be opposed to adopting some older children. Even though I'm fairly young, I enjoy the fact that my children will graduate from high school before I'm 40. I don't like the idea of starting over when my children are approaching their teens, even though I know many people who do.
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RE: sterilization question..this is NOT for the QF's - 5/2/2008 11:22:08 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
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From: California
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That's cool, Tink, although, I personally would still prefer to adopt a baby...doesn't have to be only hours old, or anything, but at least 2 or below. For you, that makes sense, cause you already had two kids that started out as babies. For me, even though I don't want to take the pregnancy risks, I would still like to start off with my kids as babies.
_____________________________
"We basically use what I have seen referred to as "get off your butt" parenting. It employs more interaction, more redirection, more prevention, and usually less spanking."
-Mrs. Wifey
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RE: sterilization question..this is NOT for the QF's - 5/2/2008 11:33:18 AM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2566
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
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quote:
Forgive my ignorance here - I'm a banker not a climatologist.
Isn't the issue as much the rate of change in CO2 levels as it is the gross level of CO2?
HUH??????????????????????? I do not see what that has to do with the topic AT ALL.
_____________________________
"We basically use what I have seen referred to as "get off your butt" parenting. It employs more interaction, more redirection, more prevention, and usually less spanking."
-Mrs. Wifey
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RE: sterilization question..this is NOT for the QF's - 5/2/2008 11:51:00 AM
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GroupW
Posts: 2713
Joined: 11/16/2007
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Whoa! Forums blur BIG TIME.
Carry on folks!
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RE: sterilization question..this is NOT for the QF's - 5/2/2008 2:17:32 PM
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LCannon
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From: Lebanon, OR
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Actually Jewels you don't have to 'ask permission' from others for not procreating or anything else other than obedience. People will think what they will; we can't live our lives according to their exceptions just be sure you're firm in yours. Courage...
< Message edited by LCannon -- 5/2/2008 4:18:47 PM >
_____________________________
"I will behold Thy face for I shall be satisfied when I awake to Thy likeness."
(Psalm 17:15)
"To see God and to be like Him; what more can I desire? I believe it and I expect it."
(CH Spurgeon)
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RE: sterilization question..this is NOT for the QF's - 5/2/2008 2:31:02 PM
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bluestone
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NOthing wrong with it, and I have always felt that Christians that can afford to adopt should consider it.
A child raised in a home is better off than a child raised in the government system any day.
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I need Christ. Not something that resembles Christ.
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RE: sterilization question..this is NOT for the QF's - 5/2/2008 2:59:48 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2566
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From: California
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quote:
ORIGINAL: hotsaucygma
OOHJ, I do not see any reason not to adopt rather than have biological children, I also don't see a reason not to adopt as a single parent. If you are thinking in that direction though, you might want to check with local adoption agencies, sometimes there are age limitations to be an adoptive parent. At 36 you are hardly old,  , but if there are long waiting lists to adopt a healthy child you may run into a problem if you wait to start the proceedings.
Actually, I've seen ads for agencies that have no age limit. I'm not going to go on a waiting list right now, because I'm not in a position to adopt right now.
_____________________________
"We basically use what I have seen referred to as "get off your butt" parenting. It employs more interaction, more redirection, more prevention, and usually less spanking."
-Mrs. Wifey
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RE: sterilization question..this is NOT for the QF's - 5/2/2008 3:17:01 PM
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hotsaucygma
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
Actually, I've seen ads for agencies that have no age limit. I'm not going to go on a waiting list right now, because I'm not in a position to adopt right now.
That's good. I just know in my area there can be quite a wait for infant adoptions. I hope all goes well for you when you are ready!
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Dear Lord, let my words today be as sweet and delicious as cheesecake... for tomorrow I may have to eat them!
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RE: sterilization question..this is NOT for the QF's - 5/2/2008 4:18:09 PM
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Qtman
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From: Crimson Tide Country
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
That's cool, Tink, although, I personally would still prefer to adopt a baby...doesn't have to be only hours old, or anything, but at least 2 or below. For you, that makes sense, cause you already had two kids that started out as babies. For me, even though I don't want to take the pregnancy risks, I would still like to start off with my kids as babies.
If that is what you want to do then go for it. It is something between you your future husband if any and God. It is none of anyone else''s business. I admire you wanting to give a home to a child that has already been born.
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Don't take life here to seriously. No one gets out alive.
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RE: sterilization question..this is NOT for the QF's - 5/3/2008 10:03:55 PM
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SonInMe1
Posts: 3529
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From: my mom by God
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I could envision seeing sterilization as a sin. Someone becoming sterile so the risk of pregnancy wouldn't interfere with their "fun".
I can't see someone protecting themselves from possible physical risk being sinful.
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You adulterous people, don't you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.
James 4:4
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RE: sterilization question..this is NOT for the QF's - 5/8/2008 3:48:10 PM
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Focusing
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OOHJ ... good question.
I have always said that if someone doesn't want to have children, then they should not have children. Some people are not able to, or don't desire to for whatever reasons, and wanting to adopt instead is a fine choice.
Since you have health issues to keep in mind, pray about the sterilization. If that's the route you go, I think that's fine, but it should be something discussed with your husband should you marry.
quote:
A child raised in a home is better off than a child raised in the government system any day.
Amen!
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"Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord."
Hebrews 12:14
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